¶ … Philosophy of Marriage In The Prophet, poet Kahlil Gibran says of marriage, "let there be spaces in your togetherness...Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls." My philosophy of marriage closely resembles Gibran's, as I feel that all couples in long-term relationships need to cultivate their selfhood and independence while remaining committed to the relationship. Marriage is tricky in that sense: the ideal of oneness and unity is usurped by the reality of personal boundaries and personal needs. Being single, I don't contend with the ups and downs that married people do. However, my philosophy of marriage includes a continual renewal of respect to avoid taking the relationship and the other person for granted. Moreover, most marriages suffer from waxing and waning affections. Therefore, I believe that all persons in committed relationships need to roll with these cycles while at the same time making a conscious effort to cultivate and renew romance.

My Friend's Philosophy of Marriage

I've heard many of my single friends cynically comment about marriage being "just a piece of paper." I see their point but I also value the ritual aspect of a formal marriage, even if the ceremony is as simple as going to City Hall. A friend of mine eloped with her boyfriend in Las Vegas; it was just the two of them and the ceremony was simple and cheap but they returned totally transformed. From their example, I value the marriage contract as more than "just a piece of...

She would have been happy, as would have her partner, to remain in a long-term relationship without that all-important piece of paper. However, her husband was from France and needed legal proof of their relationship. Marriage is therefore far more than a personal choice between two people, even in this case when the couple eloped. Marriage serves sociological functions. In some cases, religion is a major factor in the decision to get married, and religion can also become a significant topic for debate within a marriage. In a pluralistic society like ours, each partner may be from a wholly different religious or cultural background. From there the couple must decide how to raise their children, if they do decide to have any.
Coping with Various Issues Related to Marriage

Marriage entails an intermeshing of lives. Even when married couples work in different offices, travel separately, maintain separate checking accounts, and engage in different social activities from one another, the nature of the relationship entails interdependence to one degree or another. My friend and her husband do almost everything together. They share the same friends, they go canoeing and hiking together, they even work together, as they are just starting a home-based business. Their extreme intimacy might not be what I aspire to in a committed relationship but it is nevertheless admirable and natural for them. Their philosophy of marriage differs from mine, but only on…