The passion is certainly experienced on occasion but the emphasis is on security and partnership, not romance (Knox 1970).
Knox (1970) found that while this shift in perspective is mostly true, he also found that people shift once more at the end of life and swing back into the expectation and experience of romantic love. It is presumed that once all of the complications of establishing oneself in the adult world have been securely accomplished, attentions can then be moved to less practical matters like reviving, or seeking out new love.
All of these attitudes affect the day-to-day concerns of married couples. The most important issue that younger couples grapple is the financial aspects of the relationship. Living expenses as well as the expense of raising children has increased immensely over the last few generations and it is almost completely expected that the woman will work outside the home even after the couple decide to have children. Because of this expectation of a two-income relationship there is added pressure of having separate vehicles to facilitate the two jobs, childcare concerns, and educational pressures. Both men and women desire advanced educations to secure the most lucrative jobs. If the couple have not already attended college before they were married or before they had children this puts added pressure on the spouse that is not going to be attending school to carry the bulk of the financial load. With these complications in mind it is a valid concern as to whether a second income is actually worth the expense of the extra vehicle, extra education, and the extra money spent on childcare in order for both parents to work.
An extremely interesting phenomenon is that, though women are now expected to hold jobs outside of the home even after having children, women still take on the majority of the domestic chores and childrearing responsibilities in the family. Men are still expected to be the primary breadwinners, and though the expectations for them to take part in the domestic chores and childrearing activities have certainly increased, they are still far from equal...
It is possible to see a deterioration of intimacy and communication between couples as the time they spend together lessens and the pressures on them to perform and provide grow. The only good news in this area is that the acceptance of marriage counseling and mental health pursuits in general are far more accepted today than they were two or three generations ago. It is no longer taboo to seek help in keeping a marriage together. However, ironically, the divorce rate keeps climbing no matter how much the acceptance of marriage counseling improves.
All in all the attitudes towards marriage and the responsibilities that are attached to the institution have changed quite dramatically over a rather short period of time. Marriage is no longer permanent, and so it is not the secure institution that is once was. Marriage is still a strong expectation in the youth of today, but they are decidedly pessimistic in the longevity of those relationships. Pressures to perform equal functions within the marriage strains an already difficult relationship, and lightening attitudes toward seeking professional help doesn't seem to make much of a difference. There is some hope that trends will swing back towards a more traditional attitude, but there is no guarantee that it will necessarily strengthen the weaknesses that our advancing culture has caused. Only time will tell whether the institution of marriage will reestablish itself in the hearts and minds of future generations.
Works Cited
Whitehead, B, D. & Popenoe, D.P. (1999). "Changes in teen attitudes toward marriage."
The National Marriage Project: Next Generation Series.
Knox, D. (1970b) Conceptions of love at three developmental levels. The Family
Coordinator 19, 151-157.
Craig, L (2006). 'Children and the revolution: A time-diary analysis of the impact of motherhood on daily workload', Journal of Sociology, vol. 42, no. 2, pp. 125-143.
