My Perceived Identity

¶ … thinksI am primarily defined by my Asian identity. I am an immigrant from China, so naturally the first thing people think about me when they see me is that I am a Chinese-American. Of course, when I lived in China, this was not a part of my perceived identity. People just saw me as "normal" in respect to my ethnicity. But that does not mean that people did not prejudge me, even when I was the same race and culture as my fellow classmates.

I am very tall (5'9) so people would often ask me if I was a model. 5'9 is tall for any woman, but particularly in China. Because of my height, I always stood out. Worse, my growth spurt happened in middle school, so I looked very different from my classmates. I appeared to be much older than I actually was and people would often treat me as if I was older. Even in America, people make judgments about me solely based upon my height and appearance.

Because I am skinny as well as tall, they often ask if I am a model, even though I have no interest in modeling or fashion. They also ask me if I play basketball, which I do not. I am not even a fan of basketball as a spectator. What is perhaps most amusing is that people assume I am good at math.

Math is my least favorite subject in school and I am terrible at it! But simply because I am Asian, people assume I am good at math and love the subject. I have even noticed in math classes that teachers are sometimes surprised that I am not innately good in the subject. I am very quiet and shy and do not talk much so people often make assumptions about me that I am aloof, stuck-up, or perhaps even not very intelligent.

However, once I get to know people, I am able to open up and talk more freely and people realize that I have a very important inner life not visible from the outside. Part II If someone could live in my skin for a day, they would experience / know / learn / see that I am not primarily defined by a single physical characteristic (such as my tallness) or the fact I am Asian but rather that I am a complex person with many different attributes not visible to the naked eye.

For example, I am a very sensitive person who is very interested in relationships. I am a very caring person who is very invested in the people around her. That is why I love movies, books, and television programs centered on relationships rather than math. People also assume that because I am skinny I must be very concerned about my appearance and not eat. However, I love to cook and I love food.

I am naturally skinny and the fact that I am thin is not something I am trying to work on because I want to be a model. I like to look nice, but I am not obsessed with my personal appearance. The most important things in my life are my family and my friends. People cannot see my moral values looking at me from the outside.

They also do not know the difficult transition I experienced when I came here at the age of 15 and was forced to transition into a new culture. The past 7 years have been a struggle but I have learned a great deal about my personal inner strength and my ability to learn and cope with change (including the struggles of learning English). The most important roles in my life I fulfill are those of friend and daughter but my roles of student and lifelong learner are also important.

I love to read and am very intellectually curious. I have had to make a commitment to learn a great deal about the world around me to fit into a new country yet still retain my true sense of self and my moral values. Although people do not see the parents, teachers, and friends who have shaped my life on my skin, they are always with me. People can also not see my hopes for the future.

Part III As is the case with many people, I think I am judged on the basis of my racial and ethnic appearance when people.