Why people disclose personal information to strangers

Personal Disclosure to Strangers

Intuitively, one would expect that it is always easier and more appropriate to discuss personal issues with close friends and acquaintances and to do so much less with relative strangers. Sometimes and in certain contexts that is true; however, there are also frequent situations in which the exact opposite is true: sometimes, people are more comfortable talking to strangers about highly personal matters. Generally, that is a function of the fact that the stranger does not have the necessary status in one's mind for his or her opinion to matter to the speaker. Naturally, that is not always true because there are also understandable reasons why people would still prefer to discuss highly personal matters only with close relations and friends.

The Cause of the Phenomenon of Increased Disclosure to Relative Strangers

The principal cause of the apparent phenomenon that people sometimes prefer to discuss personal matters with relative strangers is that people are usually much more concerned with the way they are perceived by people who know them than they are about how they may be perceived by complete strangers (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2007). Typical manifestations of this would include the fact that many people engage in behavior in the company of strangers (as well as privately) that they would not do in front of their peer groups or their primary social group. That is not to say that there are no limits to lack of concern over embarrassment in the eyes of strangers; it simply means that it is common for individuals to feel more inhibited about certain types of behavior in front of people who know them than in front of strangers (Aronson, Wilson, & Akert, 2007).

Another cause of the phenomenon is that people often compartmentalize their social lives, maintaining specific aspects of different behaviors or "personalities" in different social circumstances or when in the company of certain different groups of people (Myers & Spencer, 2004). That means they cannot necessarily share certain conversational topics with everyone equally in their lives. On the other hand, when talking to a complete stranger, there is no such concern; the stranger has not established any previous perception about the person. That means the individual is free to express himself or herself spontaneously and without the "filter" that people often employ in discussions with different groups of people. In that regard, when talking to anybody who already has a specific perception or set of perceptions about the speaker, the speaker is limited to interactions and exchanges that are consistent with that (presumably positive) perception. Conversely, when interacting or communicating with a perfect stranger, the speaker is free to express any aspect of his or her persona or identity spontaneously (Myers & Spencer, 2004).

Perhaps the best illustration of the psychological freedom from criticism that many people experience in discussions with strangers as opposed to in conversations with acquaintances would be the common patterns of Internet communications. Specifically, the extent to which people do, in fact, disclose information in anonymous conversations on the Internet that they withhold from people who know them is directly associated with their relative lack of inhibitions from their concerns about what the other person (or people) is thinking about them. In many cases, that is much less important with respect to strangers than it is with respect to close acquaintances (Myers & Spencer, 2004).

Counterargument

There may be specific situations in which some people are more comfortable disclosing information to strangers, but that is probably the exception rather than the rule. Even if people often maintain different identities or personas in different social groups, they still disclose information (such as within those specific group environments) more to people they know better and comparatively less to people they know less well. While there may be a measure of psychological "freedom" that comes from expressing one's thoughts completely spontaneously to a stranger, it is a less fulfilling exchange than discussions with acquaintances (Baron & Byrne, 2003). Moreover, the reason is directly related to why the exchange is sometimes easier: namely, the opinions and perceptions of the stranger do not matter as much to the individual as do the opinions and perceptions of close friends (Baron & Byrne, 2003).

Ultimately, it may be that conversations with strangers are most helpful when the nature of the exchange allows the individual to solicit meaningful advice from a reliable source of information on issues that the individual might not be comfortable discussing with closer friends. That is because the main purpose of the conversation is to solicit valuable information or analyses from the other person. However, where the main purpose of the conversation is the social fulfilment of the exchange, conversations with strangers are less likely to satisfy that purpose for the very same reason that they are sometimes easier to initiate.