¶ … Trigger and How to Change It
Something that triggers my emotions in the book is when I read about microaggressions (Sue, Sue, 2013, p. 161) and in particular the way that progressive society wants me to react to issues that it supports but that I do not. For example, the idea that LGBTs should be able to adopt is one that is supported by progressive society, but every time I read about (in this book the rights of LGBTs are identified) or see a story about it in the media, I have an emotional reaction to it. LGBTs and adoption are definitely a trigger for me.
This may be the result of a number of things: first, I have a very traditional conception of family. I view a family as having a father and a mother (who are married) and children (who come after marriage). I know this conception of family is hardly the norm today, but it is still the norm as far as I'm concerned, and just because it is no longer the popular norm statistically speaking does not mean that I have changed my view about what constitutes a normal family. When I hear the media talking up stories about LGBT couples adopting a child, it clashes with my view of constitutes normalcy and the fact that the media promotes this vision of family life as something good (and even better) than the traditional view of family life causes my trigger to be pulled. I often wonder why the media never does a story about a traditional family -- but I suppose that is nothing new or newsworthy. I admit, the trigger is an emotional one, and I fully understand the reasons for why the media would promote LGBT adoptions and why this issue is discussed in our book and why the subject of microaggressions is addressed. This things are real and they are part of society and that means they have to be talked about. I still wonder, however, if there is not a clash of fundamental viewpoints about what is really good or bad going on underneath these discussions. That suspicion may also be a reason for why this is a trigger for me.
This trigger obviously may get in the way of working with particular clients/colleagues in the future who either associate with the LGBT community or believe strongly in supporting LGBT rights. Clearly I will need to make some adjustments in my emotional response system in order to better be able to work effectively and fairly with such persons in the future. It does not mean I have to change my views, but I can at least do some work to reduce the emotional trigger response that I experience when I come across this issue. I may also have to rethink how my emotional response can be negatively impactful towards others.
The changes that I think I need to make to address this trigger and my reaction to the trigger are rooted in what Sue and Sue identify as "homophobia" -- "it has been argued that internalized homophobia is even more psychologically damaging and destructive than overt incidents of homophobia" (p. 164). I never thought of myself as being homophobic and I am still not even sure that this really gets to the heart of the issue, but I am willing to accept that I do not have a "mainstream" view of LGBT issues and that this is connected to my trigger. What I have to do is to change my psychology as it relates to this trigger. Instead of cringing or having a negative emotional response when I hear of an LGBT adopting a child, I can try to put myself in their shoes. If I were a capable, strong, healthy and ethical individual who happened to be LGBT, what would I do if I wanted to adopt? Perhaps I would want a family of my own too? Once I begin to think in this manner, I can more easily see what it must be like to be an LGBT and not be able to have children the natural way. It is no doubt a great joy for such persons to be able to adopt. Setting aside my own religious and cultural beliefs, and putting myself in their shoes, I am able to neutralize my emotional trigger. This is called engaging in empathy. It does not necessarily mean that I am justifying their position or that I am now a supporter of their community or their rights, but that I am simply able to understand their perspective and even identify with it on a human level. By empathizing I am able to...
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