Tips for Reducing Stress for

Tips for Reducing Stress for Parents with Preschool Kids couple of years ago there was a story about a little boy who was kicked out of his Pre-K class for being complete out of control. The immediate reaction of many people reading the article might have been to immediate wonder if the child or the parents were out of control, because the lack of applied parenting skills often produces out of control children.

It is not necessarily that the parents are lax, or not interested in parenting their child, it could simply be that the parents are at a loss as to how to be a parent. What comes naturally for many of parents, does not necessarily come naturally to all of parents. Esther J. Calzada, Sheila M. Eyberg, Brendan Rich, and Jane G. Querido (2004) say that preschooler disruptive behavior often stems from a combination of biological, environmental, and family factors (p. 203).

However, I would propose that the biological and environmental factors could be negated with diet, exercise, and family adjustments that create a more focused, nurturing, and child-centric environment, and correct much of the disruptive behavior that the preschooler is manifesting. Ruling out of cognitive damage or mental illness or other physical conditions that might be identified, then my proposal is that stress management for the parents and developing parenting skills and coping mechanisms could with little effort reverse the disruptive behavior of the preschool child.

Day in the Life of a Preschooler It has always struck me as interesting that some couples spend years trying to conceive a child, and when that finally happens, they are poorly prepared for the commitment raising a child requires. Realistically, for the first year of life, the child's every need requires the parents to be there for the child; twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Feeding, diapering, bathing, encouraging cognitive development with playfulness, love, and caring.

It is during this time that the first bonds of attachment are formed, and the ways in which the child and parents attach, or disconnect, will be reflected in the child's behavior consciously or subconsciously for the rest of the child's life. New, first-time parents often find the demands of a life that relies entirely upon them stressful, because up until that point they have led lives that were dictated by their own relationship, their intimacy, their careers, friends, and individual interests.

Suddenly, stressfully, all those things become secondary priorities, while the child becomes the priority. This is true, except that it is essential that the parents retain enough time and pursuit of individual interest and relaxation so that they can maintain a stress free environment for their family. To do that, couples should accept any and all offers of help in the early days following the child's birth.

As soon as the mother's physician clears her physically, the mother should resume, or begin an exercise program that leads to relaxation, and this is a habit that the mother should continue throughout all the years of raising her child. The father should of course do the same, and the couple should work together to ensure that each of them are able to create a regular time for their own "down time," on a daily basis by supporting one another during the other's down time.

Once the child reaches the preschool age, 3-5, then, the parents must work the preschool schedule into their lives, and this is usually half a day, and in a few cases, all day. Preschool, however, should not be confused with daycare, a service utilized by parents with varying hours of service that usually match the parents' needs. Fathers must take a proactive role in the child preschool activities, and this will in turn manifest itself in the child's preschool behavior at school, and at home.

Recent studies have shown that fathers are not as involved in the preschool activities and interaction with preschool age children as experts would recommend (p. 203). In order to create a less stressful environment at home, and in school, fathers need to be as involved as possible in this phase the child's life and parenting. Experts report that parents whose preschool children develop attentional/hyperactive difficulties often have problems disciplining their children (Bor, William, Sanders, Matthew, and Markie-Dadds, Carol, 2002, p. 571).

So it is imperative that the parents establish a communication between their selves, their child, and the preschool so that the responsibilities of discipline are shared and reflected in the child's conduct. The child must quickly learn the consequences of their behavior so that they can follow good behavior habits in preschool.

Several tips for establishing these preschool years both as a time to establish a relationship with the child that creates respect and discipline are as follows: Reading to the child must be a regular exercise between the parents and the child, and should happen minimally once a day, preferably twice a day with age appropriate books, and books that encourage the child's participation and interest Television should not be allowed during the preschool years, because too much viewing has proven to over stimulate children and contribute to bad behavior and study patterns.

Television, at this age, should be used as a family time, and a privilege, which if the child behaves badly can be withheld. A family friend who has two children has always used television this way. It is their family's time for relaxing together on Friday night (also pizza night) with a G. rated movie. However, even after the movie, the parents still read to the children.

The oldest child, now seven, and the youngest child, five, can read age appropriate books; both children are learning a second language; and the oldest has begun playing the viola this year. Both parents attribute the success of their children, especially at the preschool stage, to shared parenting and discipline responsibility, reading on a daily basis (their playroom has no technology, only books and plays things which require the child to use and develop their imagination at play).

They also attribute the children's ability to focus on academic exercises as in part due to the fact that the television is seldom on in the house while the children are awake. Both parents also take time for their own interests on a daily basis, and they support one another in that regard. However those activities always take place after both parents put the kids to bed, following baths, promptly at 7:30 P.M. each night. The children, including the preschooler, never protest bedtime, because they rise early, 6:30-7:00 A.M.

To begin their day. Nutritionally, the children never get cookies, candy, or other sweets, except Friday night ice cream - which they love and look forward to with happiness. Otherwise, there is unlimited fruit, vegetables - they eat baby carrots by the bag - and low sugar, low salt, msg free cooking. There are exceptions, like holidays, and celebrations. By making the commitment to the time that the.