Two Parent Families the Importance

Two Parent Families The Importance of Having Both Parents in a Child's Life The last half of the 20th century has been one of tremendous social change in America. One of the more noticeable changes has been the transformation of the American family. No longer presumptively nuclear, the modern American family is as likely as not to consist of a single parent raising one or more children.

In many of these families, the non-custodial parent has little to do with the childrearing beyond sending child support, if he or she does that. While it is certainly true that there are many wonderful and loving single parents out there, it is also true that children do better when they have both parents in their lives. The problem is that many parents place their own personal wishes and desires above the needs of their children, and deprive their children of the influence of one parent.

Of course, there are instances when a parent's presence in a child's life is harmful and should not be permitted; such as when a parent suffers from a severe mental illness, is abusive, or has a drug or alcohol problem that impairs his or her judgment. However, the majority of parents does not suffer from these problems, and could provide an important influence for their children. For example, a child's same-sex parent is a powerful role model, who can be essential in a child's development of self.

The opposite-sex parent is equally important, because he or she helps model relationships with the opposite sex, both romantic and non-romantic. Furthermore, having the presence of two parents brings balance into a child's life, by giving a child a trusted adult to turn to when one parent has failed, which is inevitable.

Given the important roles that both parents should play in a child's life, it is imperative that parents today understand that both parents are necessary, and that they do everything within their power to ensure that their children have access to both of their parents. There is no question that a person's same-sex parent is a powerful role model. While gender is not the only determinate of respect and power, it is an easily determined identifier.

In fact, one of the earliest physical characteristics that children note, often before race or other hallmarks of physical identity is their gender. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that when a young girl is learning how to be a girl, she looks to her mother for guidance. Even children's toys reflect this reality; toys for both genders are oftentimes geared towards gendered role play.

Whether this preference reflects socialization or an innate preference is unimportant, because even if it is an effect of socialization, the reality is that children are a part of society, not separate from it. As important as same-sex behavior adaptation is in young children, it is even more important in adolescents. While a child may not display many gendered characteristics during childhood, puberty changes the playing field.

By watching how the same-sex parent handles everyday problems, anger management, religious issues, and romantic relationships, a young girl learns how to be a woman and a young boy learns how to be a man. While the same-sex parent is important in a child's life, the opposite-sex parent is also tremendously important. For the 90% of the population that are heterosexual, the opposite sex parent is the person who teaches them how to have romantic relationships.

There is a reason that little girls love their daddies and that little boys are mama's boys, which has nothing to do with incest or actual sexual behavior. Instead, healthy opposite sex parents allow children to practice flirting and inter-gender behavior in a safe environment, free from sexual pressure. In fact, it is when children are deprived of interactions with their opposite-sex parent that they tend to seek adult attention elsewhere, becoming vulnerable to molesters and other predators.

The opposite-sex parent is also important in the life of homosexual children, because they help teach children how to relate to people of different genders. There are recognized behavioral differences between men and women that transcend sexual preference, and it is important for a child to learn to relate to members of both sexes. Finally, having two parents involved in a child's life can be essential to a child's well-being in a different manner.

While a parent can involve other important role models in a child's life to help that child learn how to behave as a man or a woman and how to interact with men and women, role models are not a substitute for a parent. Role models, by their very nature, have less authority than a parent, which means that a child cannot turn to a role model for assistance and guidance like they would turn to a parent.

The sad reality is that even the best- educated, best-intentioned, most-loving parents make mistakes. Parents can be unreasonable and they can let events from their pasts color their judgments of their children's actions. Having two parents involved in a child's life makes it less likely that.