Vacations or There Are Numerous Different Types

¶ … Vacations or There are numerous different types of drivers. On some days, I (or some other single individual) can manifest the characteristics of all these drivers, or at least a good deal of them. In many ways, driving can be considered one of the key distinguishing features of someone's personality. There was a lyric in a song once that you can tell people's styles by the way they park a car.

If the styles and personalities of the following drives can be determined by the way in which they manipulate a moving two ton piece of steel, metal, and plastic, then it is no small wonder that the world is in as much trouble as it is. First and foremost, then, we have the ubiquitous cab driver, synonymously operating in every city in every state, while seeming to thrive in metropolises and other cramped places where the value of cars is considerably higher than that of pedestrians.

Key distinguishing trademarks of cab drivers are number one -- they speed up at the sight of oncoming pedestrians, bicyclists, unicyclists…whoever does not happen to have his or her own two ton defense from these road warriors.

In truth, this tendency may be largely reflective of their source of income since they are constantly prowling for passengers, but it does not account for there inexplicably high speeds in narrow spaces (say, when abruptly switching lanes or when encountering such daily occurrences as morning or evening traffic) when someone happens to be crossing the street. It does not matter what color the light is, whether or not there is a stop sign, or any other traffic law to obey.

Cab drivers unerringly speed up and brake as an after thought when there is pretty much anything (even other cars) spotted in their path. If they do have to yield to a some sort of traffic law, they will have to settle for merely unnerving the passenger or giving the willies to some helpless grandma on a rocker. In virtually any city, cab drivers make it known that they, and no one else, have the right of way.

Next you have the 'running late' driver, which is an unfortunately routine phenomenon when some misbegotten guy (or gal, as is frequently the case these days) has neglected the decency of leaving his or her domicile, place of employment, what have you, a mere five to 10 minutes earlier to ensure that he or she will arrive at some selected destination in a timely fashion.

These jokers usually appear during that rush hour traffic in the mornings, during the evening traffic blitz, and occasionally on the weekends when little Jimmy has left his soccer shoes at home and the minivan has to pull a sudden u-turn before making that afternoon game. Running late drivers will seize any and ever opportunity they can summon to advance ahead of the next driver -- regardless if that is only how far they get.

Character traits include weaving in and out of lanes multiple times to leapfrog a car or two, and doing a brutal job on the brakes when they come screeching to a halt at the impeding sight of a red light. The yellows, of course, get ignored as though they were any other color but red, and the amount of velocity these guys muster on residential streets or interstate highways is all the same -- outta here.

Then you have what can best be termed the hater driver, whose only apparent purpose for being on the road at just about any hour in which he or she is spotted is to get in the way of people who actually have places to go.

These are the drivers who got 65 in the fast lane, blissfully oblivious to all the honking and attempts of others to pass them and, who when they do happen to get flipped off by someone zooming 85 miles per hour in front of them, shrugs and notes that they're 'only going the speed limit'. Somehow, these guys or gals have an uncanny knack for knowing just how much to speed up to narrow the distance between you and the car in front of them so that you cannot pass them.

Or, they have the gall to actually slow down with you when they are in, say, the middle lane, and you desperately want to get around them to barrel off in the diamond lane. You might even spot one swerving in and out of both lanes one a two lane highway, just for spite, to ensure that whoever happens to be behind him or her stays that way.

These drivers have no other objective than to take up space, and make sure that whoever else out on the road with them can not achieve what they are attempting to -- or has to wait on the haters first. You also have what is known as the 'one too many' driver. These guys can typically be spotted early mornings on Saturday and Sunday, in the wee hours of the morning, usually after all the bars and night clubs have closed down for the evening.

They are also known to make special appearances on holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and perhaps their absolute favorite, New Years. Notice that the description of these drivers neglects the gals, as most young ladies have the prudence to either let someone else do the driving or catch a cab in this 'one too many' state of mind. But this is not to suggest that the one too many guys are synonymous with DUI offenders.

The distinction is subtle, although many one too many drivers could perhaps easily qualify for a DUI. But these are the drivers who may inadvertently swerve at random moments while cruising down a fairly deserted highway, or who perhaps spend a second or two too long waiting for that light to change when its, well its, yes it was green, and now it's gone from yellow to red and they have to wait all over again for that elusive green signal.

Typicaly, one too many drivers are fairly comical when they spot the worst drivers of them all, the ones who are licensed to take our drivers licenses away. One too many drivers have been noted to slow waaaay down in the presence of drivers with those bright lights, for the simple fact that they, like just about most other drivers, are oftentimes better off without them Finally, we have come to.