This paper examines the social and developmental forces that shape the behavior of tweens — children in the transitional phase between childhood and adolescence. Drawing on Bronson and Merryman's research on teen rebellion and Wong's analysis of middle school culture, the paper explores why tweens lie to parents, experience declining intrinsic motivation, and experiment with risky behaviors. It also considers how middle schools can inadvertently undermine tween autonomy and how adults can better support healthy development by creating nurturing, empathetic environments that allow tweens to safely pursue independence and self-discovery.
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A tween's world is strongly influenced by multiple external forces beyond their parents, including siblings, peers, schools, the media, and the communities in which they live. It is therefore not surprising that many tweens feel compelled — for reasons that are not always easy to understand — to behave in ways contrary to what their parents want and expect (Frydenberg et al., 2019). It is also not surprising that many adults interpret such behaviors as rebellious or even anti-social, particularly since these behaviors are novel for many young people. Understanding the developmental forces shaping adolescence is essential for parents, educators, and communities seeking to support tweens effectively.
In the chapter "The Science of Teen Rebellion," the point is made that tweens are essentially "professional prevaricators" who do not even fully realize when they are lying to their parents, because this type of response is so deeply ingrained. The point is also made, however, that tweens are reluctant to tell their parents the truth about many topics and routinely lie about a significant percentage of them — even when they do not have to. In this regard, Bronson and Merryman emphasize that, "[They] lie about what they spend their allowance on, and whether they've started dating, and what clothes they put on away from the house" (p. 138).
In other words, tweens feel compelled to lie to their parents for reasons other than simple deception, reinforcing the notion that they are seeking autonomy and self-control over their own lives during this formative period. Research on adolescent psychology consistently confirms that this push for independence is a normal and healthy part of development, even when it manifests in frustrating ways for parents.
Another noteworthy finding discussed by Bronson and Merryman concerns the diminishment of intrinsic motivation levels together with an increase in boredom experienced by tweens, typically beginning around seventh grade and persisting for several years. This tendency to become bored leads many tweens to experiment with drugs and alcohol with their peers because they do not know "how else to enjoy their free time" (Bronson & Merryman, p. 141). These findings underscore the importance of open communication, engaging activities, and guidance during the tween years to help channel their quest for independence in positive directions and foster healthy decision-making skills. The CDC's youth health resources offer practical frameworks for supporting adolescent well-being and reducing risky behavior during this vulnerable period.
"How schools inadvertently restrict tween autonomy"
"Adults urged to foster empathy and nurturing environments"
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