Doing and Living the Peterson Approach
Getting young people in Sunday School to create their own 'talker-listener' cards in their own words in the language of their age group might be an ideal craft activity -- and could become a helpful and healthy exercise for individuals undergoing couples therapy who are in conflict. Even difficult boardroom meetings could benefit from the creation of such cards, as could interfaith dialogues. On an everyday, personal level, simply mentally keeping the approach in mind can be helpful, even when dealing with people who do not play by the rules of the talker and listener approach. A good speaker must always listen, to have an idea of what is moving the other speaker, even if that individual is operating on an emotional rather than a meaningful level of conscious dialogue. Keeping interruptions at a minimum, asking questions, avoiding labeling or generalizing, and trying to clarify the other person's terms and the reason for disagreement are all helpful strategies offered by Peterson.
Peterson's book is exciting on a number of levels....
First and foremost, given the need to engage in productive interfaith dialogue, Peterson offers a non-confrontational approach that still shows respect for diverse and diverging viewpoints. Also, as more couples turn to counseling as a way of resolving their differences, Peterson's approach helps channel some of the stress and anger of modern relationships into more productive venues. Finally, Peterson's work redefines the relationship between pastors and the Christian community in a modern way that still renders religion relevant to everyday life. Religious services and ministry is about dialogue, learning, and dynamic change, not about merely asserting a static point-of-view. Religion is about communication, and God is present in the collective "amen" of the congregation as well as a preacher's text.
James Peterson, Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships, (New York: Peterson Publications, 2007), p.10
Peterson, p. 37.
Peterson, p.49
Peterson, p.53
Peterson, p. 53.
Peterson, p. 84.
