Relational satisfaction as a function of relational maintenance techniques and relational satisfaction as a function of type and frequency of contact between spouses.
There are two contradictory maxims that complicate the military phenomena: the first is "out of sight out of mind." The second is "absence makes the heart grow fonder." As applied to the military situation with one spouse separated from the other over long periods of intermittent time, the first maxim denotes that connection of one spouse to the other will be weakened, whilst the second maxim indicates that the opposite effect will occur and that their relationship will be strengthened due too the intensity of their longing for one another. Most research studies on military relationships seem to tend to the former indicating that the marital dynamics often seem to be at risk due to the periodically long and consistent separation of one spouse from the other (e.g. Galloway, 1987).
Sigman (1991) maintains that most relational theorists err when they define and study relationships as occurring only in the face-to-face interaction. On the contrary, relations are maintained in a variety of ways, and the entire span of the relationship dynamic has to be considered -- absence too not only face-to-face interactions. Relationships stretch across space and time. They should be considered as occurring within the format of a continuum and according to Sigman (1991), the seemingly continuous nature of relationships is merely a myth; most of it is conducted by and strengthened through the discontinues moments of non-immediate interaction. Relationships are not only maintained and operated through interactions between the two partners, but also continue 'outside and apart from any particular interactional event" (p.108) and, in fact, the very perquisites for their continuation requires some moving in and out of physical space over varying periods of time.
Relational dialectics express the same idea: People want to be together. On the other hand, they also seek some form of autonomy. Autonomy and connection are not contradictors. The one reinforces the other. In fact they are unified opposites in that "they negate one another, at the same time they are interdependent...
Participants were a combination of undergraduate students and adults who were in a long-distance romantic relationship with another and only saw the other on an infrequent intermittent basis. Couples were both interviewed and asked to complete a survey. Rresutls discovered that both forces of being together and being apart influenced one another in both enabling and constraining ways. The time spent together, for instance, refreshes or rejuvenates the partners, whilst the time apart works to construct valuable memories of the other and create a sense of sentimental and romantic longing. The time apart, too, makes the time that they are together all the more precious since they experience an intensity of quality time that they would likely never have had otherwise, and their distances make them endeavor all the more to make their time together more special. At the same time, their element of preciousness may put pressure on the relationship in that they strain to make the most of the pocket of time that they have together. This depends on how it is managed.
Another aspect, Sahlstein (2004) found, that contributes to the specialty of the distance-distance relationship is that both partners have had time apart to focus on other things and collect interesting experiences in the absence of the other. Sharing this when together brings an element of interest to the time they spend together
Sahlstein (2004) concluded that while researchers who have studied long-distance relationships have consistently assumed that time apart weakens the relationships, her study shows the opposite: that not only does it not weaken but that it also reinforces the relationships influencing it in many positive ways.
My hypothesis, consequently, when extending Sahlstein's (2004) study to the military field is that similar dynamics may occur. Rather than military relationships wakening as several studies…
