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Ethnic Families
I interviewed the mother of an Asian-American family, 42 years old, native-born to Asian immigrant parents, married to an American man, with two small children. She had some definite ideas about family roles and customs, mostly stemming from her parents and their very traditional roles, and how she differed from them. She grew up as an "American," and did not understand why her mother insisted on carrying on traditions that were more relevant to their life back in Asia. For example, her mother continued to cook traditional dishes, and did not learn to cook "American" food, which bothered my subject. She wanted to eat what the other kids in school were eating, and often threw away her lunch so she could buy her lunch in the cafeteria and appear more "normal." She made a vow that she would not eat Chinese or Asian food, and would not feed it to her family, and she has kept that promise to herself.
Another difference in my subject and her mother are their gender roles. Her mother did not work, and assumed the traditional role of subservience to her husband,...
The mother wanted my subject to go to college, but expected her to get married and be a stay-at-home mother. However, my subject graduated from college and got a job teaching at a university, and she greatly enjoyed her career. She traveled, stayed single until she was in her 30s, and her mother was extremely distressed by her behavior -- she did not think it was "right" and wanted her to settle down and give up her work. My subject did not want to upset her mother, but she was not ready to settle down, and then, when she met her now husband, her mother was upset because he was not Asian. There was a great deal of friction between the two women for many years, and it is only recently they have become close again, largely due to the grandchildren and the grandmother's enjoyment of them. This illustrates how different generations can view their roles very differently, and can change drastically from traditional customs and ideas.
Another difference is the number of children. My subject is one of four children, but she did not want a large family, and…
References
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Meyers, M.K., & Jordan, L.P. (2006). Choice and accommodation in parental child care decisions. Community Development: Journal of the Community Development Society, 37(2), 53+.
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