Parenting Styles Parents Play a Big Role Essay

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Parenting Styles

Parents play a big role in their children upbringing. The way a child is brought up normally has a direct impact on his/her behavior in the adult life. Most behaviors are impacted in a child during the tender years because he/she will be looking up to the parent for guidance and role-modeling. At a tender age, a normal child is expected to learn new things, and that's when a parent makes good use of this opportunity by guiding and ensuring that his/her behavior is to the required standards Feldman, 2008()

In the early 1960s, a renowned psychologist Diana Baumrind undertook a study on the impact of parenting styles on children. Part of her results consisted of the following important parenting dimensions which a parent must at least use one of them. The dimensions include; disciplinary strategies, warming and nurturance, communication styles, expectations of maturity and control Baumrind, 1971()

Developmental psychologists show that there are four known parenting styles; these styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved parenting style. All these styles have their own way in which they impact a child's development. But in as much as a parenting style dictates a child's future life, it does not mean that the child will strictly develop the way he/she was guided at a tender age. The environment they end up in, in their afterlife may influence their behavior and the way of life in the future, or as they grow older. Likewise, children brought up in the same environment and with the same parenting style may grow up to develop different personalities in their future life Donnellan, Trzesniewski, Robins, Moffitt, & Caspi, 2005()

Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style where the children are expected to follow strictly the laid down rules and regulations in the house set by the parents. The children are made to obey the orders without questioning, and they are to respect their parent's effort and work, failure to do so warrant punishment from the parent. The parents are known to expect much from their children but hardly able to explain the reason behind the rules if asked. In such parenting style, the parents are expected to bear characteristics, these include; low responsiveness, high demand i.e. obedience and restrictive Robins & Trzesniewski, 2005()

Authoritative parenting is similar to authoritarian parenting style, in that the parents are supposed to set the rules and regulations which they expect their children to adhere to. But unlike authoritative, the parents give room for democracy, they give their children a chance to air their views and questions. When the children fail to meet the expected standards, they are natured and forgiven instead of being punished by their parents. Parents using this type of parenting style normally monitor their children and they come up with ways they can interactively help their children not to repeat the mistake that was being avoided. The parents become assertive but not restrictive or intrusive at the same time Donnellan et al., 2005.

The parents use their parenting style to make the children more assertive, socially responsible and self-regulated in future. Parents using this style have the following characteristics; they express warmth and nurturance, allow opinion expression, listening, encourage independence, administer fair and consistent discipline.

Permissive parenting, on the other hand, is a parenting style where the parents are indulgent or lenient, to imply that they have few demands or expectations from their children. Due to the low expectation these parents have on their children's maturity and self-control, they, therefore, do not discipline their children using any means. These parents have the following characteristics, they are responsive but not demanding, they are non-traditionalist, and they avoid confrontations. Therefore, they can allow minimal exhibition of maturity of behavior by their children. Permissive parents are also known to play more of a child's friend than even a parent, though, communication and nurturing.

Uninvolved parenting style is one characterized by few demands, little communication and slow responsiveness. Such parents are known to be fully detached from their children's day-to-day life though he/she still provides all the necessities required by the child. In other extreme cases of uninvolved parenting, the parent is totally not involved; he/she may reject or even neglect the child. Parents who use this parenting style have the following characteristics; they are undemanding, disengaged, do not set limits, and low responsiveness. This tendency can be as a result of; lack of money, addiction to substances which make the parent not to be responsible, lack of motivation on the parent' side, and miss-prioritization.

Other known parenting styles include; attachment parenting, concentrated cultivation, Christian parenting, nurturant parenting, emotional coaching, over parenting, punishment based, strict parenting, shared parenting and parenting for everyone, among others.

How parenting style impacts a child's sense: self-esteem relates to sense of self

Children from authoritarian parenting style have less social competence since the parent's only contact with the children is when he/she gives the child instructions concerning what is to be undertaken without giving the child the opportunity to choose for him/herself. Therefore, this makes the child to lack the ability to deal with a new change in the environment, for example, being during school transition. At this time of transition, the child's self-esteem seems to fluctuate since he/she may fear doing something without instruction, but when he/she acclimatize, the self-esteem comes back Robins & Trzesniewski, 2005()

In the same context, children whom are brought up in a permissive parenting style tend to be more impulsive. During their adolescent life, they tend to be more ill-mannered in that, they engage themselves in various gross misconduct and drug use. As the child grows, his/her self-esteem is high since he/she thinks that the parents believe in him/her and that they would question much of what he/she does, so long as he/she has thought about it. The child, therefore, develops not knowing how he/she should control his/her own behavior. But in most scenarios, these children develop when they are independent, willing to improve from past mistakes and emotionally secure. Hence, making them mature quickly with the skills of taking care of one's self without help.

Children raised by uninvolved parents have issues with self-esteem and, therefore, emotionally insecure. This makes them not to believe in themselves since they develop with the thought that their parents are more superior and important than they are. As they develop, the children tend to adapt to the environment in that they learn how they can sustain themselves, and other siblings, this gives them the feeling of maturity and independency. Unlike the parents, their children normally displays conflicting behaviors, they are usually emotionally detached from social situations. In later years, this low self-esteem also plays a big role in their future relationships. During their middle school years, children from uninvolved parenting style feel they are in the wrong group or company, and this contribute to their poor performance since, negative self-esteem creates the feeling of less adequacy Lerner et al., 2005()

Authoritative parenting style is the most welcomed style according to most researchers. This parenting style makes the child has a strong emotional control because wherever a mistake is done, the parents confronts the issue in a warm way hence allowing the child to be nurtured emotionally strong. The child also develops proper social skills since the parents have given him/her the opportunity to freely express his/her opinions. The child also develops the ability to learn new skills without fear of punishment and thus, self-confidence, this is supported by the relationship between a child and the parent, where, the child is allowed to make a judgment on his/her own self since the parents encourages independency, and they will correct him/her in warmth and nurturing way.

Effect of parenting styles on a child's development of self-understanding

Each of the different parenting style has its impact to a child's development. For instance, the authoritarian parenting style puts pressure on a child to deliver positive behavior, and this does not give him/her room to think and discover new ideas and talents on his/her own. Therefore, this somehow makes the child suffer from low self-esteem, which also interferes with his/her judgment of his/her, abilities. Often, the child sees him/herself as not being able to do certain things. Whereas, authoritative parenting style, help the parents to raise children who have high self-esteem and obedience. Likewise, the child is brought up with the feeling that he/she can learn new things; therefore, he/she will always have a positive view on one self that he/she can do certain things Bracken, 2003()

On the other hand, over protective parents makes the child to fear taking or risk, they would rather stay in their comfort zones. It is shown that most children brought up in this parenting style especially those of a certain race i.e. African-American or the Hispanic living in a white neighborhood and attending school well-known to the whites, they usually face some esteem issues due to the discrimination they encounter both at home and in school Oyserman et al., 2003()

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