13-Year Marriage As It Is Term Paper

Excerpt from Term Paper :

Professional need for compromise is seen in just about every field there is. The ability to evaluate the options and compromise for the sake of cohesive existence is something viewed as extremely valuable in professional settings.

The many problems that have been resolved in my marriage and raising of children have been done through the understanding of the importance of compromise. I have become so used to using the art of compromise to accomplish goals that I believe it can transfer easily to the professional setting.

The many needs that have been encountered at home and other settings where my family is concerned have educated me and I have been able to manipulate situations to benefit everyone involved. I believe this can transfer to a professional level because often times there has to be compromise to get an idea pushed through and accomplished. Working with others is something that I have learned how to do by being a member of a 13-year marriage with children.

I have also used my skill of compromise in school that I polished in the marriage. When I register for school there are times I cannot get the classes that I want and need at that time. Instead of getting upset about it I take a breath and compromise with my previous plans and take different classes that I will be able to use at a later date.

Observation and Reflections

Once the family vacation situation was over with I had time to reflect on its outcome. I evaluated how we came to the conclusion and solution that we did and I realized it was once again all about compromise. After 13 years of marriage and raising children it had become second nature to me to compromise and to encourage others to compromise as well.

A extracted many experiences from the previous years in marriage and used them to encourage family members to compromise when it came to the family vacation argument that we were having. Before coming up with the presentation idea I contemplated many other ideas such as laying down the law, mom and dad choosing, letting the majority rule etc. All of the choices seemed to hurt one or another of the family members and it was important to me that everyone be pleased. After all it was supposed to be a family bonding time for all of us.

Compromise is such an important and transferable skill that politicians depend on it to run the nation. When they cannot compromise the entire nation suffers the consequences as one expert says:

Important policy debates that used to be settled between colleagues and friends have now sadly degenerated into a series of bitter and cynical stalemates. It is a situation in which many stubborn, close-minded partisans are refusing to compromise for the greater good for our citizens (Breaux, 2005).

How did this happen? I can point to many reasons, but one that stands out is the lack of quality time available for Members to get to know each other personally.

If the only knowledge you have of "the other side of the aisle" is what you have read in an attack press release written by party operatives, you wouldn't want to talk to them, and you certainly wouldn't want to be friends. With the House barely in town three days a week and Members constantly rushing back to raise money and campaign, it leaves precious little time to "meet and greet" the folks you're supposed to work with (Breaux, 2005). "


It is important to remember that compromise is only effective when one maintains their personal morals and values within the ability to compromise.

As I worked through the issues of the vacation problem and was able to get it resolved I realized and concluded that all questions are open to compromise if the parties involved are willing to be open to suggestions. Maintaining personal standards and refusing to give those up for the sake of compromise is vital to success.

If we compromise our morals or act hypocritically (which is a form of compromise), will we feel good about ourselves? Would this type of behavior enhance our sense of self-worth? If it did, there is probably a deeper, more serious psychological challenge that needs attention. When we act in ways that undermine our positive self-perception, problems follow (O'Brien, 2000).

In relationships, compromise is difficult. If two widely divergent opinions or points-of-view exist, compromise is seldom a good solution. Just like with politics, the forced blending of divergent viewpoints usually satisfies neither party. Remember the definition of a camel? "A horse designed by a committee." What should we do then if we don't compromise? In matters of opinion and areas of minor importance, be flexible. Willingly try the other person's suggestion, wholeheartedly. Very often, there really is more than one way to solve a situation. and, there are certainly many ways to have fun. Be open to new methods and experiences, but make sure you do not confuse compromise with consensus (O'Brien, 2000). "

Compromise is something that any successful family has the skill to handle. It is the flexible tool that provides the ability to live together and enjoy each other in the process.


The ability to compromise is important to any life situation. Whether it is work related, school related, or personal relationship the art of compromise makes everything easier. Accomplishments are more easily attained if one knows how to successfully compromise.

In 13 years of marriage and raising children I have developed strong compromise skills and have used them in countless situations to assist the family in running more smoothly. I also realize my compromise skills can be transferred to professional situations which will help me when I am in the job market.


Congress' Lost Art of Compromise

Roll Call; 4/19/2005; John Breaux

Roll Call

Love me, love my furniture; She can't stand his old recliner. He dislikes her art. How do couples in second marriages blend their stuff?(FEATURES)(LIVING)

The Christian Science Monitor; 4/27/2005

Byline: Marilyn Gardner Staff writer of the Christian…

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