Conflict Management: Strategies Conflict Is Not Necessarily

Conflict Management: Strategies

Conflict is not necessarily a 'bad' thing, and regardless of your personal comfort level with conflict, it is a part of life. However, awareness of your personal style can make conflict, when it occurs, more productive rather than divisive. Understanding what is at stake and what is the real issue behind the conflict is essential: "You may recall that one of the fundamentals of interpersonal communication is the idea of meta- communication, where one tries to objectively look at interaction between people and talk about it intelligently. We might sit back, observe a couple of friends interact, and then describe their interaction pattern to them" (Abigail & Cahn 2011: 9). We can also strive to do this, as best we can, with our own conflicts -- we must try to gain a sense of dispassionate 'distance' from the conflict to create a compromise. An inability to understand what the other person is 'really' saying and to listen to him or her can result in a conflict occurring, even if there is not really much of a divide between the two points-of-view being expressed.

The transactional model of conflict resolution suggests that conflict is based upon a state of mutual misunderstanding or disagreement, rather than the titanic struggle of good vs. evil it sometimes feels like to persons caught in a moment of rage (Abigail & Cahn 2011: 11). Answering the question of whether a conflict is personality-driven or issue-driven can help individuals reach a resolution. In my life, the difference between positive and negative conflict is often rooted in the intentionality of the individuals in conflict. When someone wants to 'pick a fight' with someone because of his or her bad mood, nothing can stop the conflict from escalating, because that is the instigator's intention (however unintentionally). The fight is rooted in a disagreement of personality, not the actual subject of the fight. At other times, conflict is necessary, because the rights of the two warring parties are at stake.