Conflict With a Student's Parents

Hypothetical Conflict Situation and Analysis of the Conflict The Nature of the Conflict and the Events Leading to It Kevin Eaton, a third-grade student at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School, is an average boy with average interests. He likes soccer and video games and riding his bike. He has lots of friends and is friendly and outgoing. In school, he does well, but is not a straight -- A student. He makes a few A's, mostly B's, and a few C's. He likes history and music the best.

He also enjoys reading; although his skills in that area are not quite at grade level, they are steadily improving, and his teacher is pleased with his progress. He does not like math at all, but shows some aptitude for science, although only the areas of dinosaurs and planets hold any real interest for him. He is a good student, bright but not gifted, and tries to do as well as he can.

Kevin's parents, however, are convinced their son is a genius and bored by being given work that is well below his abilities. They believe that he could get straight A's if only he were given more advanced material. They have talked to his teacher, Ms. McKenzie, and demanded that Kevin be given harder work. They have accused her of being too easy on Kevin and of inhibiting his potential. They have also accused her of being a lazy, ineffective teacher.

In their attempt to force Kevin to be the genius they think he is, they have hired him a tutor who gives him advanced work to do every night, in addition to his regular school homework. They have also taken him out of his soccer team and restricted the time he spends with his friends to only two hours on the weekends.

He is no longer allowed to watch television or play video games, and his parents give him on-the-spot quizzes and expect him to read two to three books a week, all at the sixth grade level and above. Anything that they feel may distract Kevin from his studies has been eliminated from his life. Kevin is miserable. As a result, his grades are slipping to mainly C's and D's. Kevin's parents continue to blame Ms. McKenzie. Kevin's parents have had several meetings with Ms.

McKenzie to demand she increase Kevin's work load, give him extra projects, and provide him with more advanced work. They have also demanded that she no longer allow him to participate in recess, and should give him work to do during that time instead. They have brought in examples of the work that Kevin is doing with his tutor, and have said that they believe it is her fault for not pushing him to meet his potential that he is not doing well with his tutor, either.

They think he may be lazy, and want Ms. McKenzie to motivate him more. Ms. McKenzie has so far refused to do any of these things. She recognizes what Kevin's true abilities are, and sees how frustrated he is by his parents' pushing. Kevin is eager to please and wants to make his parents happy, and he feels that he is letting them down, which makes him feel bad about himself. Ms.

McKenzie also realizes that a child of Kevin's age needs time to play and to be with his friends in order to feel happy, so she makes sure he gets to go to recess, since she knows he is no longer allowed to play at home. Kevin's parents are very angry about Ms. McKenzie's actions, since they feel that she is not giving their son the academic stimulation he needs. They want Kevin to have an outstanding academic career and a brilliant future, and they feel that Ms.

McKenzie is hindering that potential. They have talked to the principal of the school about this, but he refuses to move Kevin into another class, and says that he stands behind Ms. McKenzie's assessment of Kevin. They can not afford to send Kevin to a private school. They are hoping to get Kevin some testing that will allow him to skip a few grades, so he will be doing work that is more at the level they believe him to be capable of. Ms.

McKenzie is frustrated and upset at the overly high expectations Kevin's parents are putting on him and worries that Kevin will turn into a rebellious teenager and need therapy when he grows up if his parents continue with the course they are on with him. She is trying to be a reasonable, rational influence in his life and give him some sense of normalcy when he is with her. The Main Conflict Mode Operating in This Situation The main conflict mode operating in the conflict between Kevin's parents and Ms.

McKenzie is "competing." There is high assertiveness and low cooperation between the parties involved in this conflict. Each side is convinced that they are right and determined to win. Neither party has much regard for the opinions of the other party. Kevin's parents are so blinded by their desire for their son to be a genius that they are not seeing the bright, capable boy he is, and can not accept the fact that he is a very average third grader.

Their ambitions for him are depriving him of a normal childhood, but they do not see it. They have focused their frustrations with his not living up to their expectations on his teacher, and believe it to be all her fault. They want to force her to push their son the way they are pushing him. Ms.

McKenzie, on the other hand, is so focused on doing what she feels is right for Kevin, and is so upset by the harshness and cruelty she sees coming from his parents, that she is failing to see the love and concern for their son's future that lie behind their actions. Her frustration with them is causing her to avoid compromising with them, or to even consider that Kevin may have heretofore undiscovered abilities.

The Myth Regarding Conflict Operating in This Situation In this situation, both parties are operating under the myth that conflict must be resolved. Both Kevin's parents and Ms. McKenzie believe that they must come to an agreement in order for Kevin's future to be secured in the best possible way, and both believe that the agreement must be in favor of their own position in order for an.