¶ … Crime Scene) Response: "It gets across that it's a creepy guy who's just slimy and has a fetish for bondage. Like he can be a normal farm guy but is actually some sick twisted killer. It also makes me want to know more about this guy and what makes him kill." The reader seems to get the gist of the scene and understands that the killer has a dual personality, one that is considered taboo by society. I don't really know if he can be classified as a "normal" farm guy, but maybe that is one of the things that make him more appealing. He is so reserved and far removed from everyone that nobody really knows him or what he is capable of. The reader thinks that the next thing to happen in the scene will be a more in-depth look at the farmer and/or the crime scene.

"This story reminds me of the movie The Changeling about that guy that kidnapped and killed those little kids in California in the 20s. Nobody really knows what's going on at the farm and he can get...

He doesn't even bother to change his shirt before falling asleep. What is the most creepy thing isn't the bondage but the Kool-Aid because for some odd reason, I equate that with innocence." The reader thinks that the film will eventually reveal more about the killer and his crimes without really showing the crime. The graphic nature of the murders will be left up to the viewers' imaginations. I really liked the second response to Draft 1 because it forced me to consider the symbolism behind certain things in the scene. The reader also appears to be well versed in film and crime, and understands how to manipulate people psychologically. I am especially intrigued by how the reader interpreted the symbolism of the Kool-Aid as though he was insinuating that the killer does not comprehend how serious his actions are and that he has the mental capacity of a child.
Draft 2 (Aftermath Scene/Job Scene/Bar Scene) Response:

1. "I think a cop…