Dearest Friend a Life of Abigail Adams

Abigail Adams

Lynne Withey prefaces her biography of Abigail Adams by noting that the first Lady was "a tiny woman ... with ... A forceful personality that belied her size," (ix). Abigail Adams was, as Withey describes her, a "maddeningly contradictory" individual who defied conventional gender norms during her time, waged fierce rhetorical political battles against what she viewed to be British oppression of the colonies, and was unmistakably at the heart of the changing social and political realities of revolutionary America. One of the proto-feminists in the United States, Abigail Adams also championed similar civil rights causes such as the emancipation of slavery, but like most in her time, often seemed to straddle the fence on both of these contentious issues. With one foot in one world and one in another, Abigail Adams did defy definitions and deserves to be remembered as Withey portrays her: as a quintessential American who held simultaneously conservative and progressive views. As a woman, Abigail Adams could scarce enter the world of politics but alongside her husband she expressed her opinions passionately and often with little reserve. Like most other women in her time, she accepted her subordinate role and "had always established her own identity through her husband's achievements," (267). Nevertheless, Abigail Adams capitalized boldly on her husband's notoriety and power to become a personal advisor, friend, and confidante. The relationship between Abigail and John Adams might have therefore been unique for the times, as the couple cultivated a relatively egalitarian marriage. Lynne Withey thus portrays Abigail Adams in a strong light, exposing both her weaknesses and her strengths. Where history textbooks often gloss over the achievements and significance of female role models in American history, books like Dearest Friend: A Life of Abigail Adams picks up.

Like most standard biographies, Dearest Friend progresses through Abigail Adams' life chronologically. The first chapter, "A Minister's Daughter," details Adams' childhood, but like any good historian Withey also places Adams' early life into an historical context, offering background information on the Massachusetts town in which Adams was raised. Such background information allows the reader to understand better how Abigail Adams became the woman she was, and how her social and familial realities affected her decision-making and perhaps influenced her temperament. Gender identify formation resulted largely in the social norms of Adams' community, which definitively Puritan. However, Abigail (nee Smith) grew up more learned, worldlier, and more educated than many of their female counterparts at the time. Still Withey does not apologize for the more traditional aspects of Abigail's upbringing, which demanded that female girls grow up to become good wives and mothers. In Chapter One of the biography, Withey also introduces the source of primary materials she used for the book: the letters and correspondences of Abigail Adams, many of which were letters written to her girlhood friends.

The story of Abigail and John Adams is a romantic one, chronicled in Chapter Two of Dearest Friend, aptly titled "John." Though not love at first sight, Abigail and John did eventually fall deeply in love and wrote love letters to each other before they were married, when they were apart. Withey intensifies the impact of their romance by noting that John and Abigail frequently called each other by their Classical names: Diana and Lysander, evocative not only of Greek mythology but also of Shakespearean romance (15). Such details humanize what would otherwise be cold and distant historical figures. The couple married in October of 1764 and moved to Braintree.

Par for the course, Abigail immediately assumed her role of housewife and mother and gave birth to her first child the following year. While Abigail performed her wifely duties with joy, her husband pursued his political ambitions. A lawyer by education, John Adams became irate, as many colonialists did in his time, toward British policies toward its colonies (26). Once the notorious Stamp Act was passed, John Adams delved head-first into political life. His new career eventually forced him to move to Boston, and the Adams' life became increasingly wrapped up in the political fervor of the times. Before long, anti-British sentiments intensified and the revolutionary movement began. Abigail Adams, though not at the helm of the movement, could not avoid to become caught up in it. When, in 1774 John Adams was elected to be one of the members of the Constitutional Congress in Philadelphia, their lives would accelerate even more and a few years later the war broke out.

In Chapter Five, called "War," Withey describes how John and Abigail often spent long periods of time apart from one another during the Revolutionary War. Abigail was intellectually if not physically involved in her husband's affairs and the affairs of the budding nation. She championed the ideas contained in Thomas Paine's landmark publication Common Sense and sympathized fully with the American independence movement. The war and its immediate aftermath caused the Adams family some financial and emotional hardship, but Abigail tended to her children while her husband took care of matters of state.

However, in Chapter Seven, "A Woman's Sacrifice," Withey offers evidence that Abigail Adams indeed suffered considerably during John's long absences, domestically and abroad in Europe. The biographer notes, "They both believed that they endured their personal misery for the sake of their country's cause, that their own happiness was less important than the public good,: (115). The fierce determination of John Adams and his self-sacrifices were paralleled equally by his wife's, although her psychological achievements are less quantifiable than John's political ones.

Abigail Adams also watched their son John Quincy follow in his father's footsteps, as John took his son with him often on his trips including trips abroad. Watching her sons leave intensified Abigail's depression and Withey describes how Abigail became sometimes overly involved in the personal affairs of her daughter and later, her grandchildren. Like many women of her time, Abigail Adams had no outlet for her ambitions or talents. Forced to stay at home and be out of the fray, forced to submit her will to her husband's, the only arena in which Abigail felt remotely important was in the domestic arena.