Doing Time on Maple Drive: Six Dysfunctional Family Behaviors

¶ … Maple Drive: Six dysfunctional family behaviors

A lack of empathy

Doing Time on Maple Drive is the story of a supposedly perfect New England family which is not so perfect after all. The most notable dysfunctional behavior exhibited in the film is the lack of empathy of the father, Phil, a former military man, for either his children or his wife. Phil refuses to admit to his own faults and shows no compassion for his children as they struggle with adulthood. He blames them for their own problems but refuses to take responsibility for his own issues. When Phil wishes to assert his authority over his family, he does so in a bullying manner, including trying to physically humiliate them at sports.

Other members of the family seem to have very little empathy with one another. Tim, the oldest son, is an alcoholic and does not fully appreciate the extent to which his addiction and dropping out of college has affected the family. Matt also seems very emotionally disconnected from the family. Part of this has to do with the fact that he is very young and struggling with his sexuality and adolescence is a time when children are often so affected by their personal, inner struggles they have difficulty appreciating the needs of others. But he is also engaged to a woman even though he clearly does not love her.

Denial

The youngest son, Matthew, of Doing Time on Maple Drive is gay. Matt refuses to admit to himself that being gay is something he can't change: he has a fiancee he has just brought home to his parents whom he cannot love but hopes can provide a 'cover' for his sexuality and even convince himself as well as his family that he is heterosexual. Both parents refuse to acknowledge their son's true nature. They also refuse to acknowledge any part they might have played in their oldest son's alcoholism and his unwillingness to enter treatment. Only at the end of the film, when Matt is finally able to be honest and open about his emotions do the family's emotional barriers finally come crashing down.

Idealization

One reason that Matt struggles so much with his sexuality is that his parents have idealized him as the 'good' son, versus the 'bad' son Tim. Tim, because he is a dropout and an addict, is not viewed with compassion or as someone with an illness, rather he is treated as someone who is innately broken and dysfunctional. At one point, Phil even says to Tim: "Every time I look at you I thank God I have another son." Karen the middle child is treated differently because she has a 'bad' marriage with a man who is out of work. This is seen as tainting her husband's masculinity as well as the fact he wants to be an artist. Karen also struggles with the legacy of her family's use of idealism because it is difficult for her to respect her husband because he is not 'perfect.'

Matt must bear the brunt of his family's expectations to go to a good college and graduate; to get a good job; and to have the perfect fiance and raise a family in a conventional way. Because he cannot live up to these idealized expectations, he lives a lie and puts up a facade rather than telling his parents who he really is (or even admits to himself who he really is).

Treating family members differently

The family clearly treats their children differently based upon the children's perceived characteristics. This is exemplified in their treatment of Karen's husband Tom who is devalued because he is a man yet not the main breadwinner for his family. Different expectations are clearly attached to individuals based upon gender. Of course, perhaps the most obvious aspect of this is the fact that Matt is expected to be straight and have a relationship with a woman simply because of his gender.

Lack of respect for boundaries

Phil often belittles his children and treats them as if they are much younger than they actually are. All of the children in the film are adults yet the father still tries to control them in a manner just as if they were still dependent upon him. Karen is even unwilling to have a child with her husband because she feels her father would not approve, because of her family's financial situation.