Family dissolution and its effects on children

Family Break Up

For a humane, the word 'community' hints at people trying to work out solutions to common problems. The term 'community' generally stands for a group that is bigger and more diverse than a family or any group of people bound together with relationships. It also has more elements than being of the same neighborhood or enclave, though not as large as a county or a nation. Certainly it does not include entire mankind. Apart from being a group of people with common characters, there are other elements like political or legal bindings, or similar economic positions.

Certain communities have had existence for a long time and are bound together by being in similar situations for quite some time. Other communities have gone through changes with members and groups coming to the community or going out even though the community has been in existence for a long time. Communities also break up and that happens for many possible reasons. The people of the community sometimes restart the community at other places, or even as groups. They may also join other communities, or may be scattered to just become individuals and not parts of communities. Several families form to make a community and it is always the family which is the focal point of activity. What distinguishes a family from a community is the bond which exists among the family members. But when family breaks up it brings with a deep sense of pain which cannot be compared to that of a community. (Norma, 31)

To what extent are families bound to their past?

Sociology is a branch of study concerning with the family as a social entity irrespective of its type. The varied nature of the American family induces most enthusiastic study than any other subject. Well-knit families provide freedom along with support. The families teach morals and lessons about values that are formed in the individuals. Among the values that are demanded, the greatest demand is for respect for others. The values it gives, gives people skills about their relationships to others. Members in the families also act as role models for each other. Families are in general supportive of the decisions made by the members of the family. The family is a source of strength to the members, and gives a renewed vigor and outlook. (Trent; South, 428)

The belonging in a family helps people to be more social and less worrisome, and look at life in a balanced manner. When there are problems in life, people turn to their families. When things get rough people realize through families that there could be something better which could happen in their lives. In dealing with troubled times through death break up, school, athletics or any other situation, well-knit families help children. Every family has an element of support and stability, and that teaches people of the inherent stability of life itself. Only a feeling of stability can permit people to develop dreams for the future. The well-knit family is the mould which builds up people and shows them the way to live, and these are the factors that bind individuals to families. (Michelle, 176)

The liberals commended and the conservatives condemned during the last thirty-five years, the degeneration of the conventional family, emphasizing the role of male as the earning member and confining the role of females as house-wives that formed the basis of American society until the first two-thirds of twentieth century. In spite of arguments and counter arguments, the role of family in the society and economy has unanimously been agreed upon to have been varied to a great extent along with its structure during the latter half of the twentieth century. Many attributes have been observed for such changes during the past periods. The growing industrialization and urbanized form of lifestyles are considered to be the prime factors for change in the family structure. Disintegration of families is being seen for several decades in the past in the process of searching of new and better job prospects. Such newer dimension of the family as a result of such job searching activity was never evaluated to be beneficial or harmful to the values of life. This is simply taken as a way of life in consequence of new industrial era. (Michelle, 175)

This presented an appropriate way of life for every body with increased standards of living. The growth from materialistic points-of-view is the only objective in deciding the structure of family. This of course has resulted in never before opulence amidst total fragmentation of joint families and local brotherhood. The development of quicker and cost-effective mode of transportation is considered to be another factor for geographical diffusion of families. Education is another contributing factor for such changed structure of family. It is seen that the college and university going children are forced to be away from their families and found enough confidence and preference to make residences nearer to the educational environment. Moreover, the disintegration of families is attributed to the ignorance or indifference attitude towards the profound influence of industrialization and urbanized attitudes on family. (Michelle, 176)

Increasing attitude towards separation and divorce is considered to be another cause of the disintegration of families. With the separation of spouses the family breaks and the nexus for joint families are devastated and continuance of its nexus becomes very difficult. However, with remarriage of divorced spouses new relationships grow with constructions of new tie ups and nexus. The adverse impacts of divorce are not considered significant amidst already declining values in respect of the basic social unit family which together with the reduced significance of family nexus and possibility for ordinary leading of life by the spouses in seclusion after separation has made the divorces a common phenomenon in the disturbed families. The joint families are no more prevalent to provide necessary impetus as supportive base and moral boost up. Separation is therefore being visualized as both a cause and consequence of the disintegration of joint families. Bad relationships which one has gone by can however prepare people for the future. (Amato; Booth, 308)

What does it take to make a family change "for the better"?

There is increasing emphasis in the society on qualitative family relationships. The objective of establishing a pleasant and secured family life in many cases seems to be discouraging. With the increasing marriages concluding with divorce, little room has been left for maintenance of long-term relationships with separated families and broken homes. Presently like every thing the establishment of home is also aimed at attainment of some of the materialistic and non-materialistic pursuits. The basic operation of the families is widely influenced by its various types, internal structures, and external associations. The efficacy of the families in perusing the basic objectives is greatly influenced by the variations in its structure with the changing social and economic policies. This necessitated alterations in its basic forms for pursuing the underlying values amidst such transitions. (Trent; South, 430)

The family is thus continuously subjected to the optimistic changes brought about. The evaluations of the impact of generalized policies can be best seen from the families being the base level units of reproduction, production, consumption and socialization and also contributing towards their success being the basic operational unit. This is the sphere where in which the basic gender relationships are defined in real terms in order to have a profound impact on basic economic parameters of consumption, savings, and investment, constitutions of labor force through generation and allocation of resources. These parameters are considered significant for economic growth. The efficacy in catering to the needs of the members of family determines the magnitude of its dependence on the productive resources. Family being the basic social unit, its success is the key towards constitution of successful communities. (Kramer; Arbuthnot; Gordon; Rousis; Hoza, 14)

Irrespective of the level of economic prosperity, the basic objectives of the family is to thrive in up bringing of children, efficient management of their resources, establishment of a compassionate home environment, and healthy and secured members. During the twentieth century many studies have been made on disturbed families in order to find out the reasons of their failure. Similarly studies on successful families have also revealed about the basic reasons behind their success. David Mace was one considered as one of the pioneer in marriage enrichment movement in England and America. He emphasized on the analysis of the successful families that endeavors in providing significant knowledge in out search for efforts for making the human life pleasant ensuring increasing number of stable and secured families. He was striving hard for encouraging studies in this line. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 238)

However, it has been found out that the successful families are totally free from the crises but they are not considered to be as distressed as that of the disturbed ones. Moreover, these families are seen to have the necessary abilities to deal the address the crisis efficiently. The strong families are said to be immune to set aside the disturbances before their occurrence. The inevitability of crisis in the family life cannot be avoided; however, the effective efforts of strong families include facing of the crisis as effectively as possible in order to have a minimum harm simultaneously focusing on the growth avenues. The strong families are distinguished from the mode of their addressing to the crisis and magnitude of the attained success in the area. The renowned economist, philosopher, general system theorist, Kenneth Boulding emphasized on continuous individual and collective efforts for attainment of the basic objective of betterment of human life. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 247)

Betterment is being viewed as a continuous transformation in the system which can be assessed as continuous improvement. The objective is enhancement of the ultimate object which is evaluated to result in good at the end in line with the principle of good is always good. In the sphere of family life, the ultimate good indicates towards fulfillment of four basic objectives. First is the economic sufficiency ensuring prosperity against poverty, sustenance against hunger, shelter, clothing, health facilities and other essentialities. Secondly, guaranteeing justice, ensuring equality in the opportunity in the sphere of work, education and health. Thirdly, provide ample liberty against compulsion and confinement. Finally, maintain of peace in contradiction to the conflict. These values are considered as generalized values by Boulding. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 247)

The members of successful families demonstrate the utmost significance of their lives to each other. The basis of infusing these feelings is making aware to all its members the positive feelings of the members. In contrast, interactions of negative feelings are prominently evident in the weak families where as the strong family exhibit the positive feelings in increasing numbers in comparison to the negative feelings. Caring attitude towards each of members is significant in strong families and what is important is their endeavor to let all the members aware of them frequently. Some cultural hindrances have been noticed in some case for open expression of applause and affection and more emphasis on negative aspects rather than the positive aspects. The sexual activities is being perceived as one of the strong mode of expression of applauding and affection between the couples however, according to many the warm attraction towards sexual feelings arise from the feelings of emotional attachment developed through out the day. The father's responsibility in increasing the working hours and earnings with birth of a baby compels him to stay out of the home for longer periods. (Norma, 51)

However, this can not be taken to mean that all of them are avoiding the crying and dirty diapers. Being out side the home they are striving to provide for the family. Alternatively, birth of the baby led to enhance the maternal character of the mother. Some matured, well educated, experienced women tries to shoulder the role of parent and caring singly. Some other tries to establish themselves the prime caring parent for their children. They perceive to attend to their baby more carefully than the father. This led to reduce the significance of the father and rouse jealousy and disappointment and impels him to be out of the activity. The caring of the children by the older women members like grand mother and aunt also seems to have made the children away from the father. It is therefore significant that the father is to be associated the up bring of the child physically. The father should be encouraged to fulfill the needs of the baby at his own mode and not to be criticized initially. (Amato; Booth, 309)

These efforts will fulfill the needs of the child for the love and affection of father; such association in the work of child will have a pleasant experience with the father; the mother simultaneously be assisted in the process and this will lead to a pleasant home. It is also noticed intensive involvement of both the parents in catering to the needs of the child which compels them to ignore each other and the basic objectives of the marriage. Before the birth of child almost all parents have differences and quarrels. It is essential to have a realistic vision along with the new baby's charming, fascinating instincts. It is the duty of the parents to care each other in addition to their duties and affections towards the child. It is to be understood that the children are reliant on the parents only for first twelve to fifteen years sharing love and affections of them and their brothers and sisters; they are physically present in the lives of the parents for eighteen to twenty years. (Michelle, 178)

However, the physical relationship of the parents is noticed to last longer for sixty years. Against this background the successful marriage is the greatest gift to the child that he visualizes as the replica of his own life style and considered to be more significant than the affectionate parents. Caring of child effectively is considered to be one of the major intellectual and sentimental struggles that the parents face. This is not a spontaneous outcome. This necessitates preparation and skills prior to the birth of the child. It is not seen in any of the societies that have learnt to implement this. The skills for rearing child in an effective manner necessitates all the necessary knowledge in managing the out activities and sentiments. (Norma, 34)

There are absolute necessities for open expression and positive family relationships in view of the wide spread influence of drug and sex abuse. The positive expression is one of the important instincts of the strong families. This can be understood through the story 'The Words to Say It' which depressed state of mind and its remedies. In the 'The Words to Say It' the depression results in shame and the fright have increased to a level where it has to be shown only as a normal error. In the story, the sufferers regularly speak of the specific shame that they goes with their private depressed state. Through 'The Words to Say It' its novelist, realized that she was being afraid of her inner feelings of depression as it was creating mental agony within her (Cardinal, 3) A fine relation is shown between the sense of shame, and the activities of lack of shame which follows it. The novelist also notes that when depression comes from financial poverty, they can be easily accepted; but when the same effects are seen among people leading a financially secured life, along with proper health, the effects are not understood. It is not possible to treat the individual, as the sufferer is unconsciously rejecting the technology involved in their treatment. This is reflected in the title to the novelist's account of recovery from depression - 'The words to Say It'. One may even say that the beginning has to be through words, through proper channel of communication.

The renowned researcher Mark Roosa found out that it is necessary to train the children about flexible behaviors while making them acquire the skills of problem solving and infuse in them the sense of cooperation and extension of positive and non-critical support to the family members. It is the capabilities and values acquired in the family life provide the necessary impetus to mould their life styles. Disappointment and anguish may results in withdrawal of family members from one another. The unforeseen behavior of the family members challenges the effectiveness of the traditional communication methods. It is significant to infuse new skills in the long attained mode of communication. The interventions on the pre-determined moral values are considered to be prime cause of disturbing relationships. The relationship of members, family and marriage is constructed on the edifice of strong bindings and breaking of these bindings result in retardation of communication and discontinuance of relationships. (Amato; Booth, 310) It is astonishing to notice that most significant talks exist without emphasis on communications. It always expected that other members are aware of the feelings, needs and opinions without open expressions. Simple dependence upon the perceptions leads to dejection, hatred, seclusion and injured. Effective expression of feelings necessitates careful listening of the facts.

It is essential to find out first the exact feeling at the moment, the present ideas about the concern before a transparent, honest and productive expression. It is important to analyze the impact of an incident on the self style rather than just accusing others for the event. However, it is also important to take into account the involvement of feelings of other persons. The problem in communication arises out of disregard of both yourself and others. Significant topics arise only when both the parents and children are at ease. The strong families according to David Reiss find out solutions with collaborations, creative suggestions and openness to others. James Gabarino find out the significance of social support reformation as the key factors in family flexibility. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 269)

The communication skills are thus the great instinct in the successful families and assist them in overcoming the crisis. It is during the crisis that the members of the family essentially requires the support of each other and also finds the mode of communication most difficult. It is therefore, highly essential to learn the basic skills of communication. The inability mostly refers to undesirability. The expression of inability to express indicates existence of alternative and already acquired communication style that does not want to be mended. Similar is the case with the other counter part both denying to be reformed. A question posed is that: 'Does each one of such really wish to communicate in a better manner? A majority of the couples do; however several couples have not acquired the skill to communicate efficiently when it matters - as a result of which discord crops up. He further narrates regarding categorization of five barriers, which impedes efficient communication- lack of paying mutual attention, temper, thinking, approach and individual security. Upon recognizing these barriers, thereafter we can approach to eliminate these barriers; however we should not bother about the purpose, seriousness and integrity of each other. (Norma, 38)

Weiner-Davis indicates that gender disparity contributes a lot in the manner of efficient communication. But this does not absolutely indicate that men are not keen to communicate or that women are all the time communicating with their sentiments. It just implies that we identify the disparities of our communication and find out paths for surmounting the gender blockade. Communication in every case does not result in accord, even in heavily disciplined families. Discords and disagreements happen in families, but the members discuss frankly and candidly regarding these problems without charging or accusing one another. They endeavor to dispel their disparities, but at times that culminates in approving to disapprove one another. Distressed families, conversely, are either excessively serious or antagonistic in the manner of their communications with one another, or disown the tribulations and keep themselves away from vocal clashes. Though vocal animosities do not produce any outcome, evading the problems does no better. Productive communications within the family is not simple. It requires some training to learn new communication formats. (Kramer; Arbuthnot; Gordon; Rousis; Hoza, 11)

However, consuming time to communicate is still more crucial compared to practicing methods. During difficult periods when individuals are besieged with anxieties and accountabilities, it is generally seen that time spent with the family is robbed. When you are horribly busy and anxiety has gripped you, it is particularly vital to schedule a few moments while everybody can be close to each other, or you get the opportunity to converse with a relative confidentially devoid of disruptions. Small moments during the evening spent chatting regarding how the day passed and what's in store for tomorrow can be a welcome respite. You might have to assume the responsibility of instigating the communication in your family. You will be capable of discovering new avenues for communication provided you are receptive to the unspoken signals or the body language of the family members. (Trent; South, 433) majority of the parents desire their children to converse with them without any inhibitions, however do not always have an idea how they can cultivate this form of relationship. It is better when parents can bear in mind that communication essentially means correct, instantaneous and conversing as well as hearing. During moments when you hear appropriately to your family members, you cheer them to come up openly regarding what is most vital to them. Showing apathetic behavior is simple in matters of actually paying attention in families. We might presume we are aware of what the other individual intends or we might be feigning to be paying attention but in reality we might be performing something different. Listening carefully by leaving the current activity proves the orator you are attentive to her briefings. (Amato; Booth, 312) difficult sphere of attention is not venting your judgment, thinking, and inferences till you have heard what the speaker in intending to convey. Listening necessitates a mind-set of frankness and reverence for what your relative is conveying. You might disagree, however being eager to listen what the other person thinks, conveys your reverence for that individual. When children are confronted with problems, attempts by the parents at paying attention, time and again brings positive effects, instead, of lashing out at them and giving our viewpoints. Unwarranted counseling gives meager scope for children to exchange their thoughts and can effect in children becoming dependent on others' persuasion. As a consequence, these children might build up improper decision-making skills, as they grow older. (Michelle, 179)

Modern child-upbringing experts consent that a direct correlation exists between how children think and act. Parents can aid children to feel inspired by accommodating their sensation. This does not indicate however that, parents should concur with these considerations. Approval indicates an eagerness to permit children to be individuals with choices and viewpoint of their own. A majority of the parents can be extremely accommodating regarding nearly all of the feelings their children possess, until something comes out of their mouth which makes the parent annoyed, worried or feeling uneasy. (Michelle, 180) At this point it is natural for parents to go back to their past behavior and be protective. Efficient, listening entails an admirable behavior, attentiveness, maintaining eye contact, and an exercise to be calm and contemplate regarding when to be quiet and when or how to react. Just shaking the head or an expression of recognition will enable a child understand you are hearing him or her.

While carefully hearing, do not ask inquisitive questions like "why?" Interrogations of these nature takes away the interest from inner feelings to that of scrutinizing and children might construe is as a rejection of their feelings. As an alternative, be in sync with the feelings, after that translate the felt word into a sentence. Through this, it will be revealed that you realize and understand the feelings of children. Children of every age understand the manner in which their feelings are recognized and resolve their self-difficulties when assistance extended by the parents offer their feeling a status. At times, children will vent their depressing sentiments in unsuitable manners through bad tempers or shrieking. Parents can permit their children to experience wrath, however narrate particulars regarding how they can convey their annoyance in a tolerable manner. It is essential to assist them to produce concepts for creative, material methods to communicate their wrath. (Norma, 42)

At times when parents nurse depressing thoughts or expect better support from their child, it is necessary that they also courteously convey themselves. As an alternative of directing and irritating, concentrate on the vexed issue without scolding and offer children an opportunity to choose for themselves what measures they are supposed to take. An efficient and easy manner of drawing the attention of a child is to speak in monosyllables i.e. 'Milk'. Ensure that the tonal quality of your voice is not arrogant and never use children's name in isolation or they will relate their names with being in difficulty. A different instrument is to just portray what you visualize or provide information they can use for subsequent suggestions. Scripting short writings and use of hilarity or fantasy are innovative ways to convey constructive and depressing feelings. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 282)

It is indispensable to be genuine with your sentiments and choice of words without holding the other person responsible, and have the guts to be flawed, as there are no flawless parents. To form new habits it roughly takes twenty-one days of continuity to entrench it and it is natural on the part of the children to gauge parents during this period. Constructive and candid communication is the sole area that parents can deal with to develop their tact as parents. By way of reading and participating in parenting classes, parents can understand how to cultivate affectionate, reverent family relationships. During difficult and better times, relatives require the company of each other. Communication is hence an important cause in reinforcing family correlations, fostering every individual's development and self- respect and revealing love and admiration. (Trent; South, 434)

Members of disciplined family are remarkably excellent listeners. Family members in disciplined families are also proficient at interrogating and do not delve into knowing one another's thoughts. They also understand that opinion of people transform in the course of time, and the sole manner to evade thought reading is to verify the stances on a regular basis by way of interrogations. Amusement is a vital component of running a sound family system and in one of our researches we gathered that disciplined families love to engage in laughter. The more well bonded the family is, the more probable they were to utilize amusement to keep an optimistic viewpoint on life, for recreation, to lessen strain, to articulate tenderness, to make others feel comfortable, to initiate talks, to reduce concern, and to tide over intricate circumstances. Disciplined families will not be using fun in a negative sense; therefore disdains and putdowns are not usually done. (LeShan, 36)

One of the significant causes a family is a cheerful one is due to the fact that every member gets involved in the act which is a source of pleasure for each one of them. Within the American society, enjoying quality time along with the family comes at a price. A lot of Americans are so inundated by various works that they fail to get time to eat meals with the members of the family or just take pleasure in going out. It is observed that Americans frequently wish to decide upon spending good moments at the cost of number of days spent in leisure. Disciplined families, nevertheless, possess great moments in abundance, and valid causes are there for the current state of affairs. To be flourishing in the professional world requires putting in time and endeavor. Families have been transformed with increasing number of wives and mothers going out of home for work. (Amato; Booth, 314) wife's job away from the home usually has been constructive relatively than a depressing influence on marriage. The ladies normally opt for a second spell during their work outside the home. The initial spell is their primary profession, and the second spell is their family duties. Though men are found to be performing greater family work compared to what they have performed in the bygone years, women, on the other hand, whether married or living together, continue to discharge most of the domestic assignments for the family. The solution for couples remains that they are content with their array of wok and domestic assignments and consider that the involvement of both wife and husband is just. Hence, the family work and domestic assignments might not be uniformly assigned between husband and wife, but the work pressure is considered to be evenhanded. Dr. John Gottman, in his scholastic findings has revealed that married males who perform domestic chores were more content and more serious in their marriages. They were less upset and less forlorn and with their physical and psychological health in a better shape. Wives normally welcome husband's helping hand in the domestic chores. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 301)

When (if ever) is it justified to break away from family?

Even though marriage break-up and divorce could be extremely traumatic incidents a family might pass through, they might be the just needed respite after a phase of anxiety and discord in a disturbed wedlock. There might not be any advantages in case of a lot of conjugal relations and even go to the extent of causing harm to the members of the family. A good reason for separation from a family or a spouse is that the sentimental cost of staying together is lowered in case of both the partners. When a man or a woman determines that the relationship is proceeding towards a dead end, and the time is ripe enough to part ways can generate a joyous feeling bringing with it an impending sense of freedom from bondage.

In case the determination comes from both the parties, then both can embark on a new epoch in their lives. When a mismatch with the partners happens with both the partners, greater discord will occur and it will drag on wasting energy to keep the relationship going. In cases of wedding in a younger age, it is usual that lesser resources in the sphere of education, monetary, personal and interpersonal will be available that can aggravate an array of conjugal problems and also restrain looking for an answer to these marital stresses. People marrying young might not be seasoned adequately to assess their sentimental necessities and values that might change in due course and go on making feelings of incongruity. The more the relationship lingers, more will be the economic costs for the two of them. Entangled in an appalling relationship might impact your efficiency and deplete your time from developing career prospects for both of them. (Norma, 54)

In case of wedlock's characterized by conjugal displeasure, sentimental rift, despair, or an extra-marital love affair, it is reasonable to break free. When families are not stable, they tend people to involve in extramarital affairs and make friends to involve in all wrongdoings. The film 'Dangerous Liaisons' revolves around the peculiar friendship of Marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont. The friends are both ruthless and were lovers at one time, but also wealthy, bored and full of lust. The movie is the story of a bet between the two. The bet is for Valmont to seduce the happily married and normally virtuous Madame de Tourvel. On success, the Marquise will reward him with a night of love, and this has not taken place for quite sometime now. Reality takes a different turn, and Valmont finally falls in love with Madame, and then this is known to Marquise. Marquise feels very much for Valmont but is not able to give Valmont what he loves in Madame. She is not full of candor, sincerity and fresh beauty. (Dangerous Liaisons Movie Review)

Another film 'Dead Ringers' revolves around an acute fear of separation of a pair of identical twins. They had both become gynecologists and they loved to share women who could not distinguish between the two. Elliot was the confident twin, and generally started off the affair with the woman, and then passes on the woman to Beverley who was a shy person when Elliot is tired of the woman. The plan is detected by Claire when she meets them and the situation becomes clearer. (Flickering Opinions: Dead Ringers) The feeling of the twin brothers is to be one, but also to be free from the other. This gives them tangled and complex emotions. (Dead Ringers) Again 'The Postman Always Rings Twice' is the movie of a drifter who lands up a job at a diner owned by a husband and wife. The wife ends up having an affair with the drifter, and she is not happy with her situation. She neither loves working at a diner, and married to the man who compels her to work there. Along with the drifter, she plans to kill the husband so that they can get the insurance and then get on with a new life. In such instances when extramarital affairs lead to cheating of the partner, it is justified to break away from the family. Through 'Dangerous Liaisons' 'Dead Ringers' and 'The Postman Always Rings Twice' we find that wrong relationships outside marriage and also outside family makes people to have complicated emotions which affect the stability of family- affects the relationship between partners and between blood relations. In such cases, family breakups tend to happen in society.

It is possible that when family is not stable, the children of the house tend to involve in attaining wrong sexual relationships. Again when there is lack of understanding between partners, it is natural for people to seek relationships outside marriage. We can understand this through the movie 'American Beauty' wherein the central character 'Lester' realizes that his life is unfortunate as his marriage has no feelings, he hates the job at the magazine he has, and his daughter hates him. (American Beauty) Though he is married and with a daughter, his life has been devoid of sex for quite some time. The wife is much more interested in the decoration of the house. The absence of happiness in marriage leads to other problems and his frustrations push him to fantasize about his daughter's classmate. This leads Lester to start working out so that he could become sexier and thus succeed in his efforts to seduce the classmate. When one looks at the film with a fine tooth comb, the characters in the film are closer to real life people. "American Beauty' is a film that actually denounces America and the prevalent Puritanism through the characters running after friends of their daughter. The element of sexual frustration also exists in others and the wife goes out of the house to seek sexual satisfaction, and the homophobia of the neighbor is seemingly due to the non-acceptance of these tendencies due to the puritanical education that he had to go through. (American Beauty)

In cases where there is mistreatment or aggression in a family, the disintegration of the family is more apt, and in these situations this might be the prudent road to take. Staying together with a dejected person is frequently is a depletion of one's emotional asset, and the relationship offers scanty cherish and revival for the active partner. Witnessing the other partner as perpetually gloomy and depressed is frequently traumatic and disturbing in itself, and at times the vulnerability of the active partner snowballs into a rage and denunciation of the disheartened partner. In situations while one of the partners remains subdued, the offspring's are exposed to the risk of despair also. (Michelle, 183)

Wars and calamities have also been found to break up families and affects children. This can be understood through the story of 'The Painted Bird' wherein we can see how separation from the family creates a life of hell for its main character, who is a child. When the war starts in Poland, the faces savage incidents and the child travels through the countryside, and meets peasants who are cruel to him. Many atrocities are inflicted on him and this lead to his loss of voice. He recovers his power of talking only after he was recovered by his parents from an orphanage and then put in a school for the disabled. During his wandering period, he had learnt to face any hardship. The view given in the novel is that loneliness cannot be avoided when separated from family.

The absence of the parent is damaging for their lives and their concept of their dwelling, making them cocooned and stoic or become extremely worried or excessively agitated. The absence of the father is the primary reason for depressed family lives, a lot of present social problems and is a predicament that the entire nation confronts. Giving efforts for balancing the dejected partner's abysmal enthusiasm and restricted concern in the family is sheer wastage of resources. Pursuing to be increasingly accessible to the children sentimentally and more appreciative of their wants can go on in spewing greater dejection in favor of the depressed partner, and thus separation are warranted. (Amato; Booth, 316)

As per the statistics released by the National Fatherhood Institute, forty percent of the children belonging to America have not caught a glimpse of their father for the whole year. During the last fifteen years children without fathers leapfrogged from ten million to over fifteen million. More than seventy percent of adolescents in remand homes and reform centers are offspring's belonging to families who have no fathers. Figures are stark in announcing that aggressive criminals are vastly males those who were raised devoid of the control of a father. This comprises of sixty percent of the rapists of Americans, over seventy percent of the juvenile killers, and seventy percent of the prisoners who have been behind bars for long. Among every four high school goers, one is practically unlettered. It is just more than a physical company. There are a lot of homes in which the father is present, but that's it. (Levine; Pittinsky, 65)

They ensure that their wants are satisfied, but do not come forward to accept the religious, divine or typical guidance. In its place, the upbringing of the kids are associated with the parents scuffle, curses, hurling abuses, shrieking and wasting money on every type of recreation and goodies attempting to be content. The shirking of the responsibility of the father and guidance inside the home has made the home and society devoid of values, unhappiness and fragmented. This collapse has put a damaging influence on our children and has set off a plethora of immoral problems within the society comprising criminal behavior, promiscuous behavior, substance abuse and aggression and has been the reason for breaking free from the families. (Michelle, 185)

The underlying reality that we have but one life to spend is what originates within us in the course of our advancing age. Several males and females cite this as the valid pretext to separate and begin afresh and coming across a new partner becomes a defense for this cause. Because of financial constraints, a lot of individuals are grossly occupied. Due to this, they do not have sufficient leisure to discuss regarding the problems with their partners that result in the possibility of marriage break ups. A lot of couples are frequently tight-lipped during difficulties; as a result, tiny problems could snowball, ending up with separation. Yet one more explanation of break up of families is that members of the family wish to enjoy improved lifestyle. In the earlier times, the husbands used to be the breadwinner of the family and women looked after the domestic work, thus they were not financially empowered and had to turn to their husband for their monetary needs. (Trent; South, 435)

Due to these circumstances, it was next to impossible for nearly all women to part ways with their husbands. Since, the marriages of the yesteryears were bound by outside forces; monetary dependence and apprehension of societal stigma, marriages in the current era make or break on the strength of the sentimental solidarity among the partners. Many research professionals have seen that the trend is currently on for deterioration of the marital quality over the past many years, a happening that according to them is due to the enhanced aspirations out of a marriage and agreeable feelings towards a shattered marriage. The current aspirations of entering into a marital alliance puts a high premium on the fulfillment of intangibles like empathy, closeness, cheerfulness and self-realization, an extremely alarming job, maybe, than satisfying the more mundane and bounded aspirations that come with conventional 'earning husband' and 'homely wife' activities. (Conger; Harold; Fincham; Osborne, 294)