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“not good enough not pretty enough not smart enough” are the words that echo and persist throughout Janice Mirikitani’s poem “Suicide Note.” The literal title of Mirikitani’s poem alerts the reader to the tragic ending, which the speaker claims is a result of her being psychologically abused by her parents. An angry tone pervades “Suicide Note,” laden with bitterness and sarcasm. The speaker even uses the word “bitter” to emphasize her sullen state of mind. The concrete details that stand out the most in “Suicide Note” include the use of repetition and the emphasis on the speaker’s gender.
The speaker has internalized her parents’ disapproval, but it remains unclear whether her parents were earnestly pushing her to try harder or if they were, as she suggests, prejudicing her for her gender. “If only I were a son, shoulders broad...I would see the light in my mother’s eyes, or the golden pride reflected in my father’s dream of my wide, male hands worthy of work and comfort.” The speaker also claims that her “choices” in life were “thin as shaved ice.” The reader of “Suicide Note” wonders if the speaker is imagining that her parents wished she were a boy or if...
Ending the poem with “breast of earth” further stresses its gendered implications. Her death signifies reunion with mother earth, whereas the speaker’s biological mother failed to provide her with the nurturing she needed.
The fact that the poem is designed to mirror a suicide note compounds the tragedy because the speaker becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Her parents never showed her the approval she was seeking, but killing herself only makes them believe more that she was a “failure” and a “disappointment.” While her parents are likely to feel guilty at the tragedy of her death, they may not believe as she did that their parenting style was the problem. Comparing herself to a sparrow throughout the poem also shows that the speaker believed that she was actually capable of flying—of being free—but she continues to blame her parents. The reason why she was unable to fly only becomes clear later in the poem, when the speaker states, “the snow burdens my crippled wings.” The snow symbolizes the coldhearted claims of being “not good enough not strong enough not smart enough.” Therefore, “Suicide Note” could inspire readers to change their attitudes towards children and help…
Works Cited
Mirikitani, Janice. “Suicide Note.” https://thevalueofsparrows.com/2015/01/14/poetry-suicide-note-by-janice-mirikitani/
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