Love and hate in human relationships

¶ … Hate

There are a number of poignant similarities between Mama in Alice Walker's short story "Everyday Use" and Delia in Zora Neale Hurston's short story "Sweat." Both women are matriarch figures, African-American, and live in rural surroundings. As such, they each have a healthy dose of what is referred to as common sense -- although to other cultures and outsiders they may talk and act like simple, ignorant country bumpkins. Perhaps it is this perception of the two that makes them so accommodating to the will of others. But the principle similarity between each of these women is that she has a threshold for her tolerance level, and once it is broached she acts in a way that is belied by her simple, rustic manners.

There are domestic issues plaguing each of the matriarchs in their respective tales, which substantially contribute to the point at which they refuse to tolerate the demands or the inflexibilities of others. For Mama in Walker's story, the source of her domestic disturbance comes in the form of her eldest daughter, Dee. Dee believes that she is more sophisticated, worldly and savvy than her simple mother and Mama's youngest daughter, Maggie. As such, she believes that her newfound college education, African heritage and mode of dress and speech make her better than the pair. Initially, due to her accommodating nature, Mama allows Dee to continue her pseudo-African culture charade and to carry on about her home in a condescending manner -- because she is so tolerant. For instance, when Dee initially asks to take valuable cultural relics that have belonged to her and Mama's family for years, Mama acquiesces in order to accommodate her, which the following quotation implies.

This churn top is what I need," she said. "Didn't Uncle Buddy whittle it out of a tree you all used to have?"

"Yes," I said.

"Un huh," she said happily. "And I want the dasher, too." (Walker).

Although Dee is asking to remove these valued family-wrought objects from her house, Mama allows her to do, because it is in the latter's nature to be accommodating . She does not quite understand why Dee has changed her name, and she does not necessarily like it or the act of condescension she and her boyfriend put on while visiting Mama, but the matriarch is willing to tolerate it -- for a while.

Similarly, Delia puts up with a whole lot of undesirable things from her husband, Sykes, in Hurston's tale. He routinely beats her. He talks to her in violent, derogatory terms regularly. Even worse, he is unfaithful and flaunts his infidelities around the small town they live in and even in the very house in which they live (which Delia herself owns). Like Mama, Delia is willing to put up with all of these unpleasant aspects of life because it is in her nature to be naturally accommodating, if not even somewhat meek. Moreover, she is willing to put with just about any horrible treatment at the hands of her husband so long as she can continue to work and keep her house, which the following quotation -- in which she reminisces about all of the abuse Sykes has inflicted on her, readily implies. Regarding the mistreatment Delia had endured that had worn her down physically and mentally she reflect that it was "Too late for everything except her little home. She had built it for her old days…it was lovely to her, lovely" (Hurston). This passage indicates that like Mama, Delia is willing to endure the vicissitudes of life -- until she reaches her threshold. Her accommodating nature and lover for her house keep her as staid and passive, in some ways, as much as Mama.

However, the passive, accommodating nature of each of these women readily changes near the denouement of each tale. For Mama, she reaches the point in which she will brook no further tolerance of Dee and her condescending behavior when the latter attempts to appropriate truly valuable family quilts that Mama has promised to her daughter. Dee is used to getting her own way, and Mama is used to giving it to her. However, when Mama suddenly sees the negative effect that her passivity has produced on Maggie -- more meek and humble than even Mama -- she does the unthinkable -- she defies Dee, which the subsequent quotation proves. She "snatched the quilts out of Miss Wangero's hands and dumped them into Maggie's lap" (Walker). In doing so, she indicates that she will not tolerate Dee's insolence and condescension any further, because she has reached her limit for doing so.