Mass Communication: Nonverbal Listening Patterns Exercise Nonverbal Listening Patterns Exercise

Nonverbal listening patterns play a key role in determining whether or not communication will be effective. They serve as an outward symbol of the listener's interest in what is being discussed. Positive nonverbal listening patterns such as maintaining meaningful eye contact, nodding in acknowledgement, and leaning towards the speaker signal the listener's active participation in the conversation. Negative patterns, on the other hand, which include glancing at the watch, playing with jewelry and hair, and biting the nails and lips, are an outright symbol that the listener is either bored or disinterested in the subject matter. This exercise assesses the effectiveness of nonverbal behavioral patterns that I displayed in two distinctly different conversations -- one with Linda, my elder sister who lived out of the country, and whom I had not seen for almost a decade, and another with Joe, a childhood friend, with whom I have shared life experiences right from kindergarten. Both conversations were held at home, at different times, although the second one focused mainly on relaying what it was like conversing with a sister whom I had last seen when I was in elementary school.

The conversation with Linda was, in my view, tense and highly emotional. It mainly revolved around our personal lives, and the changes that we had both undergone living in different environments. She told me what Europe was like, what she missed about America and me, and what she thinks of us ten years later. It was almost impossible for me to maintain a steady eye contact because I felt like she had changed and was a totally different person -- a stranger. I crossed and re-crossed my legs several times during our exchange...

If she did indeed 'miss us', she wouldn't have waited ten years. I didn't want her to notice my attitude, and so I kept putting on a fake smile. My posture was slumped and I kept shifting weight, perhaps because the conversation was rather long and nothing close to what I had expected. I had this strange feeling that I was emotionally cut-off, and the conversation was more inclined towards the other person. I glanced at my watch and fidgeted several times, and I remember Linda asking if I was okay at some point. Well, honestly, my body language throughout the exchange was inappropriate and it gave the impression that I was disinterested in the subject matter. Perhaps I should have made an attempt to understand why she had taken so long to reach out to me; if I had a more positive perception, I would have been more comfortable with the conversation.
The second conversation (with Joe) was totally different from the one I had with Linda. I was the speaker for the better part of the conversation, and all I did was explain to Joe what I thought about my conversation with Linda. For the limited period that I was the listener, I realized that it was relatively easy for me to maintain an unwavering eye contact, perhaps because I was more comfortable talking to him or because he seemed to be talking about something more realistic. I maintained a slumped posture, at times resting my head upon my chin. Joe was trying to demonstrate that, that which I had done was wrong and that I had to appreciate that regardless of the amount of time it took Linda to return to America, she was here now. Unlike the earlier conversation with Linda, I realized that I nodded several times in acknowledgement in this case, and despite the fact that the subject matter…