Parental alienation syndrome from a family systems perspective

Parental Alienation Syndrome -- a Family Systems (systemic) Perspective

Parental alienation is stated to be a term that has been coined for the purpose of describing "a phenomenon that occurs when a child becomes allied with one parent and disparages or rejects the other." (Appell, nd) This is generally known to occur in "cases of high conflict divorce." (Appell, nd) Gardner (1989, 1999, 2000) coined the term 'parental alienation syndrome" or PAS due to a common cluster of symptoms in such families and the child suffering from PAS may exhibit the following behaviors either in full or in part: (1) the child is aligned with the alienating parents in a campaign of denigration against the target parent, with the child making active contributions; (2) rationalization for deprecating the target parent are often weak, frivolous or absurd; (3) animosity toward the rejected parents lacks the ambivalence normal to human relationships; (4) the child asserts that the decision to reject the target parents is his or her own; (5) the child reflexively supports the parents with whom he or she is aligned; (6) the child expresses guiltless disregard fro the feelings of the target or hated parent; (7) borrowed scenarios are present and the child's statements reflect themes and terminology of the alienating parent; and (8) animosity is spared to the extended family and others associated with the hated parent. (Rand, 1997 in: Appell, nd)

The idea of a 'syndrome' is stated by Appell to have resulted in controversy for Gardner in the psychological community since this term "implies a discrete set of symptoms with a consistent constellation of causes" and while the blame for PAS was held by Gardener to rest with the alienating custodial parent, Kelly and Johnston (2001) posited that this is not always the case and instead that the reject "is likely to have multiple causes." (Appell, nd) it is suggested by Kelly and Johnston (2001) that the "child's post-divorce affinities with the parent(s) lie on a continuum and that there are five categories or stages that a child may pass through on a progressive process of estrangement from one parent. Those stages are stated to include: (1) positive relationships with both parents; (2) affinity with one parent; (3) allied child (child forms an alliance with one parent); (4) estranged child (child distance from one parent with corresponding negative attitudes); and (5) alienated child (relationship with one parent broken down completely). (Appell, nd)

It is the contention of Appell that there are various reason for parental rejection and these reasons are often "multiple and complex." (Appell, nd) While rejection of one parent may result in some cases from deliberate manipulations of the other, the problem is frequently "multi-causal." (Appell, nd) Appell states that it is of great help to examine the "intraspychic dynamics of the individual, the interactive dynamics of the family, and the influences of the wider social sphere to fully understand all of the contributing factors to parental alienation in any given case." (Appell, nd)

Appell states that it is important to obtain information in relation to certain issues of each member of the family. First, Appell states that the allied parents "...vary in their individual dynamics" with some parents deliberately retaliating at the other parent in the case of a high conflict divorce through limitation of access to the child and other "act out their anger unconsciously by making negative comments and/or by their non-verbal gestures in regard to the other parent." (nd) as well, the parents who are anxious may fear letting go of their children due to their own feelings of vulnerability and often the parent in the alienation syndrome has been victimized in their own life and this sense of victimization is carried into the present. In other instances the allied parent is unable to "tolerate and appropriately respond to the child's full range of feelings because any anger the child might express toward the allied parent or positive feelings toward the other parents can feel like a personal betrayal." (Appell, nd)

In regards to the rejected parent, Appell (nd) states that rejected parents "have historically been involved parents, for whom the accusations of the child and the other parent are ill-founded." However, in other cases the rejected parent may "have personality deficits" or be "lacking [in] appropriate parenting skills, and/or have been previously only minimally involved in their children's lives." (Appell, nd)

In regards to the child Appell (nd) states that there are variations in the thoughts and experiences of children that results in their rejection of a parent." Appell (nd) states that diagnostic questions for children include those of: (1) What is the child's developmental history? (2) What is his relationship history with each parent? (3) How has his internal view of the rejected parent changed over time? (4) Does the child display anxiety, and is this anxiety focused on the target parent or does it apply in other aspects of his life? (5) if there are questions of abuse, does the child have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder? (6) Can the child express a full range of emotions? (7) Does the child mirror the allied parent's words when describing the alienated parent? (8) Does the child's explanation of events make sense or are there holes and contradictions? (9) Are his reactions appropriate to the stated "crimes" of the alienated parent? (10) Does the child have flip-flopping views of the parent(s)? (Appell, nd)

Other factors important for examination in the case of PAS are those of: (1) family dynamics; (2) the couple; (3) the sibling subsystem; (4) the allied parent-child subsystem; (5) the rejected parent-child subsystem; (6) the parent a-parent-B-child subsystem; (7) external influences; and (8) extended family. (Appell, nd)

DEFINITION of TERMS

(1) PAS -- Parental Alienation Syndrome: Defined as "...is any behavior by a parent, a child's mother or father, whether conscious or unconscious, that could create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent. Parental alienation can be mild and temporary or extreme and ongoing. Most researchers believe that any alienation of a child against (the child's) other parent is harmful to the child and to the target parent. Extreme, obsessive, and ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood. Parental Alienation

focuses on the alienating parent's behavior as opposed to the alienated parent's and alienated children's conditions." (PAS Website, 2009)

(2) Programming -- the content, themes and beliefs transmitted by the programming parent to the child regarding the other parent. (Rand, 2009)

(3) Brainwashing -- the interactional processes by which the child is persuaded to accept and elaborate on the program. Brainwashing occurs over time and involves repetition of the program or code words referring to the program, until the subject responds with attitudinal and behavioral compliance. (Rand, 2009)

STUDY AIMS

The work of Grossman and Okun (2006) entitled: "A Systems Understanding of the Legal System-Further Discussions" states that from a systems perspective "if given the opportunity, family psychologists can try to improve the decision making process and the utility of interventions by enhancing the quality of information provided to the court. They can attempt to educate members of the judiciary, the legal system and the mental health community to the potential problems in obtaining neutral information from treating therapists and in interpreting information provided by experts."(Grossman and Okun, 2006)

In addition to this, specific interventions are able to be customized to the family-specific situation therefore, grasping a more thorough understanding of the affects of systems and subsystems within the family unit is important in many aspects of the lives of the individuals who are experiencing parental alienation syndrome. Finally, intervention is extremely difficult in the family experiencing parental alienation syndrome and this syndrome is one that begs to be better understood as its impacts are spread throughout the fabric of today's society when a family is experiencing PAS. Moreover "alienated children need interventions that include the child, siblings, both parents and members of the family system who contribute to the alienation dynamic." (Grossman and Okun, 2006)

STUDY OBJECTIVES

The objectives of this study include the objective to examine parental alienation syndrome from a systemic perspective in the initiative to gain a better understanding of what factors contribute to PAS and what interventions may be used to most effectively treat PAS within a family system and its subsystems.

SINGIFNCANCE & MOTIVATION of STUDY

It is important to understand the underlying causes and the roots of the child-specific parental alienation syndrome and furthermore is critical to understand the systemic processes within familial interactions that contribute to or further the likelihood of parental alienation syndrome occurring in order to effectively cope with and mitigate the harms of this destructive syndrome.

LITERATURE REVIEW

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is defined as "...is any behavior by a parent, a child's mother or father, whether conscious or unconscious, that could create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent. Parental alienation can be mild and temporary or extreme and ongoing. Most researchers believe that any alienation of a child against (the child's) other parent is harmful to the child and to the target parent. Extreme, obsessive, and ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood. Parental Alienation focuses on the alienating parent's behavior as opposed to the alienated parent's and alienated children's conditions." (PAS Website, 2009)

There are stated to be seven specific stages of grief experienced in the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) Grief Model. Those seven stages are as follows:

Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":

1. SHOCK & DENIAL- You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT- as the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING- Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the loss on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION," REFLECTION, LONELINESS- Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving. during this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. The UPWARD TURN- as you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- as you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE- During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. (PAS Website, 2009)

The work of Janet R. Johnston (2001) entitled: "Rethinking Parental Alienation and Redesigning Parent-Child Access Services for Children Who Resist or Refuse Visitation" states that the phenomenon of "a child's strident rejection of one parent, generally accompanied by strong resistance or refusal to visit or have anything to do with that parent, was first recognized by Wallerstein and Kelly (1976, 1980) in their seminal study on children of divorce. They described it as an "unholy alliance" between an angry parent and an older child or adolescent.

Later, Gardner (1987, 1998a) coined the label "parental alienation syndrome" (PAS) to describe a diagnosable disorder in a child in the context of a custody dispute, and it is this entity which has generated both enthusiastic endorsement and strong negative response." (Johnston, 2001) PAS is stated to have three components first identified in the work of Gardner. Those three components are:

(1) the child exhibits obsessive hatred of a target parent, makes weak, frivolous and absurd complaints, justifies the stance by quoting "borrowed scenarios," and lacks any ambivalence or guilt towards the hated parent;

(2) a vindictive parent who is involved in consciously or unconsciously brainwashing the child into this indoctrinated stance; and (3) false allegations of abuse that are generated by alienating parent and child." (Johnston, 2001)

Johnston states the argument that it is critical to "differentiate the alienated child from other children who also resist contact with a parent after separation, but for a variety of normal developmentally expectable reasons." (2009) This is because it is all "too often in divorce situations, all youngsters resisting visits with a parent are improperly labeled 'alienating parents'. Children's relationship with their parents after separation and divorce can be described on a continuum from positive to negative. This is shown in the following illustration labeled Figure 1 in this study.

Figure 1

A Continuum of Children's Relationships with Parents after Separation and Divorce

Source: Johnston (2001)

Johnston (2001) states that there are five principles of effective intervention in Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and states those five principles to be those as follows:

(1) First a careful clinical assessment or custody evaluation is needed to (a) Identify an alienated child,

(b) Distinguish alienation from realistic estrangement, and (c) Formulate the multiple interrelated factors in the family history, marital and divorce dynamics that have contributed to the problem.

(2) Second, it is vital to ensure continuity, consistency and coordination of professional involvement in the case, to guard against the insidious polarization and fragmentation within the family spreading among the professionals.

(3) Third, it is necessary to implement authoritative case management to pre-empt and manage the ongoing conflict and keep disputes out of the legal adversarial arena where the alienation is fueled.

(4) Fourth, early and timely interventions are critical to prevent entrenchment of destructive dynamics and to restore appropriate contact between the alienated child and rejected parent. Delays consolidate and reward the child's phobic or recalcitrant stance. And fifth, structural and therapeutic interventions need to be directed at the systemic array of factors in the family that contribute to the problem. (Johnston, 2001)

Johnston (2001) additionally states that effective intervention in cases of alienation "takes place within a legally defined framework (a stipulation, consent decree or court order). The legal contract between the parties or court order specifies the roles of all professionals and provides an overarching, coordinated, rule-governed process for managing the ongoing family conflict and implementing the intervention." Johnston states that court order should include the following elements:

(1) the goals of the service;

(2) the roles of any professionals working with the family;

(3) who will be seen in sessions;

(4) the limits of confidentiality for each professional with the court and with each other;

(5) the permissible lines of communication among disputing parents, nonprofessionals and collaterals;

(6) a timely procedure for resolving dispute issues when parents are stuck (such as mediation or arbitration);

(7) Payment for the intervention; and (8) an agreed-upon-process for terminating the intervention of transferring to another therapist or arbitrator. (Johnston, 2001)

Rand (2009) in the work entitled: "The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome" states that it was emphasized by Gardner that it is critically important to differentiated between "mild, modern and severe PAS in determining court orders and therapeutic interventions to apply." (Rand, 2009) Rand states that in mild cases "...there is some parental programming but visitation is not seriously affected and the child manages to negotiate the transitions without too much difficulty. The child has a reasonably healthy relationship with the programming parent and is usually participating in the campaign of denigration to maintain the primary emotional bond with the preferred parent, usually the mother. PAS in this category can usually be alleviated by the court's affirming that the preferred or primary parent will retain primary custody." (2009)

According to Rand (2009) in moderate PAS "...In moderate PAS, there is a significant degree of parental programming, along with significant struggles around visitation. The child often displays difficulties around the transition between homes but is eventually able to settle down and become benevolently involved with the parent he or she is visiting. The bond between the aligned parent and child is still reasonably healthy, despite their shared conviction that the target parent is somehow despicable. At this level, stronger legal interventions are required and a court ordered PAS therapist is recommended who can monitor visits, make their office available as a visit exchange site, and report to the court regarding failures to implement visitation. The threat of sanctions against the alienating parent may be needed to gain compliance. Failure of the system to apply the appropriate level of court orders and therapeutic interventions in moderate PAS may put the child at risk for developing severe PAS. In some moderate cases, after court-ordered special therapy and sanctions have failed, Gardner states that it may be necessary to seriously consider transferring custody to the allegedly hated parent, assuming that parent is fit. In some situations, this is the only hope of protecting the child from progression to the severe category." (Rand, 2009)

In the case of severe PAS the child is stated to be "...fanatic in his or her hatred of the target parent. The child may refuse to visit, personally make false allegations of abuse, and threaten to run away, commit suicide or homicide if forced to see the father. Mother and child have a pathological bond, often based on shared paranoid fantasies about the father, sometimes to the point of folie a deux. In severe PAS, Gardner has found that if the child is allowed to stay with the mother the relationship with the father is doomed and the child develops long-standing psychopathology and even paranoia. Assuming the target parent is fit, Gardner believes that the only effective remedy in severe PAS is to give custody to the alienated parent." (Rand, 2009)

The original conception of PAS by Gardner was "based on the child's preoccupation with denigration of the target parent however, when the first book was published on PAS a couple of years later Gardner is stated to have addressed the problem of PAS "...with false allegations of abuse. Gardner prefers to view such allegations as derivative of the PAS, observing that they often emerge after other efforts to exclude the target parent have failed. Some of the literature reviewed below, however, indicates that false allegations of abuse may also surface prior to the marital separation, symptomatic of a pre-existing psychiatric disorder of the alienating parent which may not be diagnosed until there is further mental deterioration after the divorce. Gardner was among the first to recognize that involving a child in false allegations of abuse is a form of abuse in itself and indicative of serious problems somewhere in the divorce family system. Insofar as PAS with false allegations of abuse can result in permanent destruction of the child's relationship with the alienated parent, it can be more harmful to the child than if the alleged abuse had actually occurred." (Rand, 2009) it has been stated in the work of Maccoby and Mnookin that only "29% of divorced parents are successfully co-parenting three to four years after filing." (Rand, 2009)

High divorce conflict is stated to be characterized by "...intense and/or protracted post separation conflict and hostility between the parents which may be expressed overtly or covertly through ongoing litigation, verbal and physical aggression, and tactics of sabotage and deception." (Rand, 2009) Rand reports that in high conflict divorce "...without significant PAS, the parents do most of the fighting while the children manage to go back and forth between homes, maintain their own views and preserve their affection for both parents. They cope by developing active skills for maneuvering the situation or by adopting a survival strategy of treating both parents with equal fairness and distance." (Rand, 2009) as well, children may "periodically...exacerbate parental conflicts by embellishing age appropriate separation anxieties, telling each parent things the parent wants to hear and shifting their allegiance back and forth between the parents. Nevertheless, they avoid consistent alignment with one parent against the other and are able to enjoy their time with each parent once the often difficult transition between homes has been accomplished." (Rand, 2009)