Positive Psychology Bernard Carried Around

Positive Psychology

Bernard carried around a Hindu amulet everywhere. To school, to work, to the Protestant church he belonged to, to the grocery store, to sporting events, to seedy bars and shopping malls -- pretty much everywhere.

He seemed to love that thing. I think he thought it brought him good fortune. I never confirmed this though, so I'm not really sure why he carried it.

Bernard is uncomely. He has teeth too small for his face. As a result, he has had a lot of trouble finding someone respectable to date or hang out with or watch the latest horror movie with.

People, girls in particular, often laughed behind his back. Actually, they still do, even though he is now in college and people tend to be less judgmental and critical.

Growing up he was lonely and sad and, oftentimes, silent.

A few months ago, I saw Bernard walking to a local 7/11 to apparently pick up menthol cigarettes. Bernard had just started smoking menthols. I asked him, "How you doing"?

He looked surprised -- as if this was the first time anyone had ever spoken to him.

He grumbled back, "I'm fine." I said, "Oh, yeah?" He said, "Yeah."

I asked him if I could see his amulet. He said, "Why?" I said, "Because I'm thinking about getting one."

He handed me the amulet. It was blue oval that had tiny beads dangling from strings (like the shape of an octopus).

We were near a highway overpass. I threw Bernard's amulet off the overpass into the freeway. It shattered on the concrete into little blue shards.

Bernard stared at me, through me. He didn't say a word. I tucked my hands in my pockets and walked away. We haven't spoken since.

A few weeks after I threw Bernard's Hindu amulet off the highway overpass, he was seen with Kristy -- an old girl I used to date.

It later became known that Bernard finally had a girlfriend - a first for him. I smiled upon hearing the news. It worked!

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When asked to distill the secret to life into one word, the Dalai Lama said, "Routine." I agree with the Dalai Lama. And I've fashioned my life to reflect his wisdom.

Thusly, when asked to describe which paradigm I most closely identify with, I would choose satisficing over maximizing. However, I would note that my daily routine is not something that I find to be moderately satisfying and/or sufficient, imbued with the mundane pragmatism satisficing implies, rather my daily routine is something I find great joy in.

To unpack this a little more, I am a creature of habit. I like doing the same things at the same time throughout the week. For example, on Mon, Wed, Thurs, I wake up at 7:00 AM and I run around my block. It is approximately 2.4 miles. It takes me 21 minutes to finish the run. I go on this run religiously, with very little variance. In fact, I never change the route. The only thing I change with respect to the run is whether I start eastwardly up the block or westwardly up the block. In a sense, deciding whether I run the route "forwards" or "backwards."

What's interesting is that I don't really enjoy running. I like it, but I don't love it. What I actually enjoy is the routine of things. I enjoy knowing that when I go to be on Sunday night, Tuesday night, and Wednesday night, I have to wake up the next morning, at 7:00 AM, and go for a run. In short, it's not the activity I enjoy; it's the schedule.

So, as it relates to maximizing vs. satisficing, I don't mind having many choices or very few so long as I know that I have scheduled some time to make a selection. For example, I go food shopping every 2nd Saturday of the month, I appropriate approximately two hours for shopping (I go to two, maybe three different stores). When I purchase salad dressing, I don't mind having a huge selection. I don't feel paralyzed by the vast array of salad dressings. And I don't experience buyer's remorse later on if I don't like it. Why is this?

Well, it's because I know I will go food shopping next month (on the 2nd Saturday) to select a new salad dressing.

See, if one follows a routine or a schedule, he/she doesn't have to worry about becoming overwhelmed with choice. The reason is that one knows he/she will have the opportunity to choose again. It may be the next month or in several years, but the day will come again for him/her to choose and -- this is really the key -- if he/she knows in advance when that day of selection will come again he/she does not feel the anxiety, paralysis, remorse, etc. he/she feels with having too much to choose from. Additionally, one never feels like he/she is "settling" or satisficing, really, for the same reason, i.e. there will be a known future date to correct a past error.