Pride and Prejudice Love and Marriage

Love is more than a warm and fuzzy feeling. Love is also more than a first impression. One of the most popular phrases we hear regarding first impressions is that we never have a second chance to make them. This passage indicates that all first impressions must be on the mark but, in reality, they are not. In Jane Austen's novel, Pride and Prejudice, first impressions guide Elizabeth and Darcy terribly as Mary alludes to in the opening pages when she observes, how pride "is a very common failing" (13-4) Her remarks sets the mood and tone for Elizabeth and Darcy's revelations about themselves and each other. Only through the pain of wounded pride, can Elizabeth see her own arrogance but in the end, it humbles her. Similarly, Darcy undergoes a series of changes that begin with himself. His first impression of Darcy is based solely on her looks, as he states she is "not handsome enough to tempt me" (7). Here, we see his prejudice toward others and his apparent satisfaction with this attitude. His lesson also starts with the self when he realizes he could be wrong. Love might be a crazy little thing but it is rarely simple and easy.

First impressions are rarely limited to those first moments when they are experienced. Whatever we conjure up with first impressions we take with us, just as Elizabeth and Darcy do. This taints perspectives and leads to more misgivings because of a wrong first impression. Elizabeth rejects Darcy's proposal, pointing out he has much to learn. She tells him, "You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it" (145). Wit this remark, Darcy is "astonished"(145) with "an expression of mingled incredibility and mortification" (145). Her claim that he is not gentleman-like stays with him for some time until he realizes it is true. He does realize this and becomes a better person because of it. He even admits, "I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit . . . You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you I was properly humbled. . . You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased" (276-7). Both characters must abandon their first impressions to move on to the better part of their relationship, love.

Love and marriage can only survive when one accepts certain truths about oneself. Elizabeth prides herself in the knowledge that she is right and she knows the truth. Of course, her version of the truth must come from somewhere and if her source is not credible, then her knowledge is worthless. She mistakenly believes Wickham and learns the difficult way that she was wrong. When Darcy asks her to dance, she must confront her true feelings about the man. Austen uses irony to explore this situation. She writes that Elizabeth was "amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite Mr. Darcy" (68). This feeling is the very opposite of hating Darcy, which is what Elizabeth had every intention of doing. It forces her to examine her feelings and ask herself what she is doing and why. Elizabeth surprises herself because she once admitted, "I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine" (Austen 13). Here we see just what is necessary to make love happen. It is not always easy -- even in the best love stories. In order for us to experience the best, we must realize we are not perfect creatures. When we accept our place in the universe and put our personal feelings aside, we can see more clearly.

Along with the happy love story of Elizabeth and Darcy, Pride and Prejudice examines the unhappy side of love and marriage. Through other relationships, Austen reveals the difficulty of love. Love and marriage are not always happy. For instance, Lydia and Wickham's marriage is based on superficiality. Lydia is lovely but she is also naive when it comes to Wickham's inappropriate behavior. Their relationship declines as the novel progresses with Lydia visiting her sisters alone and Wickham traveling to London alone. Jane has difficulty imagining how the two support each other "in tolerable independence" (232). Jane also realizes "how little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue" (232). This example of a marriage based upon the wrong reasons emphasizes Austen's belief that love is truly the one thing that carries couples through the difficult times. All of the other reasons might cause one to get married but the ultimate question is whether they will keep one married when times get tough.