Rebekah's struggle with unequal love and divine inquiry

Rebekah: What Happens When a Mother Loves Unevenly?

In many ways, the Bible can be viewed as a misogynistic book, which portrays women as victims or pawns subject to male pressure and control. In many ways, this portrayal is historically accurate, as women during Biblical times were legally property with very little ability to make their own decisions. However, it would be a mistake to suggest that the lack of legal authority rendered these women completely powerless. On the contrary, they exercised power in a number of different ways, but not always in ways that were overt. Instead, they exercised a subtle power. Examining the women in the Bible, one can see the role that women played, not only in the Bible, but in the historical society in which the Bible was written. "The women in these stories are like the caryatids of Greek architecture. They hold up the structure, they steady the ground, without them there is nothing but broken stones."

This is apparent when one looks at what the women are doing in the stories; they are going about daily activities, but those daily activities are the very things that enabled life during that time period.

Moreover, Rebekah is remarkable among the women in the Bible in that she spends time to develop her own personal relationship with God in a way that her predecessor women did not. Prior to Rebekah, it was men in the Bible who sought out God's advice, daring to directly ask him questions. However, Rebekah broke that mold. She was the first woman to seek God out and ask him questions. This behavior would not be seen again until Mary's conversations with God in the New Testament. Rebekah was also a morally questionable woman, which made her different from many of the Biblical stereotypes of women.

The Bible is replete with stereotypical women who were confined to the role of whore or saint, but Rebekah was neither. Rebekah married her husband Isaac, and it appears that they were in love. However, it would be erroneous to assume that her seemingly happy marriage ensured Rebekah's happiness. Instead, she experienced an event that many people associate with unhappiness; infertility. Moreover, at that time infertility was considered more than misfortune; it was considered a sign of God's disfavor.

In addition, while she did eventually become pregnant, her pregnancy was portrayed differently than other pregnancies in the Bible. In fact, Rebekah's pregnancy is the only one that is significantly detailed in the Bible, and it was full of strife. Already, the two brothers appeared to be fighting.

So she 'went to enquire of the Lord'. Rebecca was the first woman we hear of who sought God out and asked him for some explanation of her condition. This shows her initiative and self-confidence. The method she used to speak with God is not explained, but a common practice in the ancient world was to consult a prophet or oracle. Rebecca may have followed this practice or, as in Numbers 12:6, the message may have come to her in a dream.

God told her that 'Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples born of you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the elder shall serve the younger.'

Women During Rebekah's Time

It is absolutely impossible to understand Rebekah's actions from a modern context, because the role of women has changed so dramatically in the interim period. Moreover, many people look at Rebekah's actions from the perspective of more familiar Biblical women, who may have lived in more restrictive times. In fact, Rebekah lived in a time period that was relatively permissive, where women not only had a greater degree of freedom and power than in other times, but were also expected to exercise this power. In fact, it would be accurate to describe women as holding a position of prestige during that time period. The early Biblical stories portrayed women as acting far more independently than later books in the Old Testament. They acted in leadership roles, though the leadership was not always beneficial. They were not afraid to take initiative, though there might be consequences for taking initiative. Moreover, when these early matriarchs acted, they were very effective at attaining those goals they had set for themselves. Rebekah is a clear example of a biblical matriarch who set goals, took the steps to attain those goals, and managed to reach her goals. Furthermore, her goals were not limited to her own desires; while she did further the aim of her favorite child, her actions also ensured the enduring success of her clan.

Given how secondary women seemed in some of the later Old Testament narratives, one may wonder why they were so important in the early stories:

This was probably because women were necessary for the survival of the tribe, and they knew it. They did a wide range of tasks, without which the clan or family simply could not have managed. They moved freely in society, and were not confined within the home. The Bible stories show that they spoke and acted confidently.

Therefore, while it may be surprising that women in Old Testament times appear to have had much greater power than women in later times, understanding the role that they played during this time period easily sheds light on the situation. This may have had to do with the fact that they were necessary for survival, but it would an error to reduce their contributions to that of brood mare. On the contrary, "Their contribution to the culture of the time was significant. The stories as we have them in the Bible were edited much later by male priests, but there are hints that women had a thriving cultural tradition of their own."

While this cultural tradition may not have been translated by male priests to the official religious tradition, this family-centered cultural tradition was still critically important. The family tradition related to traditionally feminine areas, and the early stories in Genesis reflect the influence of women during that time.

It is important to examine extra-Biblical sources when examining the historical aspects of women's behavior during that time. This is because describing the Bible itself as misogynistic is sometimes a generous description. Throughout the Bible, the text uses belittling language and downplays the importance of women, making them appear inferior to men.

One interesting source of information is the laws of Hammurabi, the lawmaker and king of Babylonia. In his code, one could find laws to protect women's rights in marriage, regulate the behavior of temple women, ensure the just treatment of female slaves, protect women against rape, and establish conditions for divorce.

Rebekah's Appearance in the Bible

When she is first introduced in the Bible, Rebekah's role as secondary to a man is made clear. The Biblical patriarch Abraham was looking for a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham sent his servant Eliezer to Nahor to find a non-Canaanite wife for Isaac. This necessarily predicated a journey by Rebekah, and journey was a huge part of the Biblical stories of people during that time; there was constant movement from Mesopotamia into Egypt.

Eliezer spotted Rebekah among a group of girls at the well. He noticed her beauty, and that seems to have been her only real qualification as a wife. He asked her for a drink. As have other women in the well-scenario, when Eliezer asked her for a drink, Rebekah then offered to share her pitcher. She also offered to water his camels.

This was enough to make Eliezer believe that Rebekah was a good match for Isaac and asked Rebekah's father, Bethuel, if Rebekah could marry Isaac. In many ways, the fact that Rebekah could not make her own decision whether or not to marry Isaac, highlight her role as a chattel-like dependent during that time period. He determined that she was an appropriate match for Isaac and asked her father, Bethuel, to give Rebekah to Isaac as a wife. Bethuel agreed and sent Rebekah to Canaan to marry Isaac.

Another interesting factor is that Rebekah's meeting Eliezer at the well is similar to two other betrothals in the Bible, which has a recurring well-betrothal theme. "All three encounters lead to the betrothal of the girl and the groom. The two meet by the well; the prospective bride draws water from the well, and then hurries to tell her family about the stranger. This leads to the stranger's being invited to a meal by the girl's family, and then to a betrothal agreement."

Of course, in this scenario, Rebekah does not meet Isaac at the well, but Eliezer, who is acting as Isaac's agent for finding a bride.

Rebekah's Conception Story

One of the interesting features in the Old Testament is that so many of the Biblical matriarchs suffered from infertility, which oftentimes made their conception stories notable. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that Rebekah's conception story follows the pattern of the miraculous conception stories in the Old Testament. Isaac and Rebekah seemed to have a happy and healthy functional marriage. While it is never overtly stated in the text, the implication is that the two love one another. However, despite what one assumes is a fairly active sex life, Rebekah is unable to conceive and they do not create a child during Rebekah's childbearing years. She passes into old age, which makes one believe that she will never be able to conceive, making her conception of Esau and Jacob even more extraordinary.

Furthermore, though her mother-in-law Sarah also experienced barrenness, she did not have the same tension about conception as Rebekah. Sarah always had God's favor; she was a major component of God's plan for Abraham. Therefore, there was some understanding that she would eventually have a child to continue the nation of Israel. In contrast, Rebekah was not considered an essential part of Isaac's story. As a result, her barrenness could have been symbolic of God being displeased with her. It was consistently assumed during that time period that infertility was because a woman was barren and was not linked to the male.

Furthermore, while other matriarchs who experienced barrenness were considered favored once they conceived, Rebekah was not. In contrast, she had a troubled pregnancy. The constant movement and apparent discord inside of her led her to conclude that the babies were already fighting. She actually complained about the pregnancy, which differentiated her from other miraculously pregnant women in the Bible. She was in enough distress that she went directly to God, and she received her own message from God about her children.

Another way Rebekah's pregnancy was different from other matriarchs is that she did not know the importance of her pregnancy prior to conception. Many of the matriarchs received messages from God prior to conceiving. However, Rebekah received her message from God after she became pregnant. This is an interesting difference because Rebekah's pregnancy was important, not only for Isaac, but for the future of the nation of Israel. Moreover, that importance would not conclude with the end of her pregnancy, but would depend upon her interventions and maneuvering to make sure that the divinely-judged correct child received his father's blessing.

Rebekah and Deception

In many ways, Rebekah may be one of the most deceptive people, male or female, described in the Bible. This is an interesting scenario, given that she played such a critical role in the continuation of Israel. Cultural convictions dictated that Esau would take Isaac's place as the leader of the Israelites, because he was the firstborn son, but Isaac had to transmit that through his blessing. Rebekah could have chosen to intervene with her husband, explain what God had told her, and convince Isaac to pass the birthright to Jacob rather than Esau instead of engaging in deception. However, she did not. Instead, Rebekah actively subverted convention to ensure that Jacob would receive the blessing. To do so, Rebekah engaged in behavior that cannot be considered anything other than dishonest. First, she deceived her husband, which would have been considered shameful, if not actually sinful during that time period. Second, she involved her child in that deception, helping one son cheat the other son. To understand the level of deception, one must look at her specific actions. Rebekah dressed Jacob in skins to approximate his brother's hairy visage. When that seemed insufficient to fool Isaac, Rebekah went further and actually coached Jacob on how to best deceive Isaac.

However, it is also important to realize that, in the story, there is significant evidence that Esau does not value his birthright. He is said to have literally traded his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup. While "the pottage story is clearly a tradition that retrospectively reconstructs the political domination of Israel/Judah (Jacob) over Edom (Esau).

While the story may not be literal, it certainly suggests that Jacob was a participant in his mother's plans, not a victim.

While it would be easy to dismiss Rebekah as a liar or a cheat, this would be an oversimplification of Rebekah's role in the Bible. It is important to keep in mind that Rebekah believed that she was fulfilling God's destiny for Israel, a belief that has to be shared by any person giving a literal reading to the Old Testament stories surrounding her. While she may have been defying social conventions and deceiving her husband, Rebekah truly felt as if she were working for God, and to have ignored Him in order to show obedience to her husband would have been far more deceitful and immoral. Furthermore, some scholars suggest whether Isaac was actually deceived by the ruse. Isaac was himself a trickster; did he actually set up a scenario whereby he could determine which son was better suited to lead Israel?

How Rebekah Differs from other Women in the Bible

Rebekah is significantly different from other women in the Bible. Taken in isolation, these differences might not seem significant, but, when taken as a whole, they reveal a woman who differs from other women of her time and from the other Biblical matriarchs. First, Rebekah is the only female character in the Bible to receive a direct message from God.

In fact, even Mary does not receive direct communication from God; she speaks, instead, to an angel. Furthermore, Rebekah engages in different ways Rebekah also responds differently to similar situations that her predecessors faced. For example, Abraham asked Sarah to act like his sister, and Sarah agreed to do so. Isaac also asks Rebekah to act as his sister, and she also agrees to do so. While the story seems to connect Rebekah to Sarah, it actually serves to differentiate Rebekah from Sarah in meaningful way. While it is not explicitly stated, it appears that Sarah had sexual relations with Pharaoh during one of the wife-sister deceptions. While her reasons do not appear to have been suspect, and seem aimed at ensuring that her husband would be safe, it does say something about her primary role as wife. However, while Rebekah engaged in a similar wife-sister ruse, there is no indication that she is actually unfaithful to Isaac. "Her relationship with her husband is consistently monogamous, unlike that of Sarah, who not only has extramarital sex, but also provides her husband with the slave wife Hagar, and of Rachel and Leah, who are co-wives and also provide slave wives to Jacob."

Rebekah's Sexuality

It is difficult to discuss the role of women in the Bible without looking at how they are portrayed in terms of their sexuality. Moreover, it is important to consider that sexual and marital norms in that time period differed substantially from modern norms. For example, in modern times it is considered incestuous to marry a cousin, but incest rules different during that time period. Israelites were encouraged to marry other Israelites rather than seeking brides among the Canaanites. This was because, for people in Abraham's tribe, there were several important qualifications for brides; brides were supposed to be virgins prior to marriage, and faithful and fertile once married. Furthermore, they wanted wives with cultural and religious traditions that were similar to their own, and therefore avoided marrying Canaanites when possible. Therefore, even marriage to a family member, even someone as close as a half-sister, was considered preferable to marrying outside of the clan. Therefore, Rebekah's sexuality did not play a key role in her being chosen as a bride; instead, the focus was on other characteristics that were not overtly related to sexuality.

Moreover, it is important to keep in mind that Rebekah's marriage was not something she really chose. Marriage was much more of a contractual relationship than a love relationship at that time. In fact, "A bride was not supposed to be seen by a groom prior to the wedding…the woman was clearly a prized object, exacting a price. There was no parallel reference to the groom's appearance or his virginity."

Therefore, when Eliezer was selecting Rebekah to marry Isaac, the focus was not necessarily on her sexuality, but on the fact that she had not yet expressed that sexuality. In fact, one of the more interesting aspects of Rebekah's story is that her virginity is explicitly mentioned, when it is assumed on the part of the other Biblical matriarchs.

However, she did appear to exude some type of charisma, since she was chosen as the result of an isolated interaction at a well. Rebekah's sexuality is not clearly portrayed, though it is undeniable that the Bible demonstrates significant charisma on her part, because she could capture Eliezer's attention at the well.

Furthermore, Rebekah does not respond to the marriage proposal for any type of fear or timidity, which one might expect from a nervous virgin who has been betrothed to a stranger. She does not ask to delay her marriage or spend more time with her family. Instead, she is eager to travel and meet her new husband. Furthermore, while there is not a detailed description of how she and Isaac greeted one another when they met, but the Bible does say that Isaac loved her when he met her, which, given that they did not know one another's personalities at that time, certainly suggests something about her sexuality.

Rebekah's sexuality may only be only subtly references in the early part of her story, but it becomes a major component later in the story. When asked to engage in the wife-sister ruse, Rebekah remains faithful to Isaac. Furthermore, like predecessors, Rebekah is unable to conceive. In that time period, it would have been a common and accepted practice for Isaac to have taken another wife in order to create children. However, there is no indication that Isaac ever considered taking another wife.

Rebekah's Vibrancy

One of the more compelling parts of Rebekah's description in the Bible is the way she is portrayed as being both active and vibrant. Rebekah is proportionately described with more action verbs than any other woman in the Bible. Looking back at Elizzers, Eliezer seems impressed with her, but the Bible only describes Rebekah as fetching water for camels; this hardly seems like behavior that would allow someone to conclude that Rebekah was an appropriate choice.

The idea of Rebekah as active, not static, plays a continuous role in her story because she was not content to have her life happen to her, but determined to play an active role in her own life. She is eager to travel to a new land and meet a husband she has never met. She takes an active role in Isaac's life. When she struggles during her pregnancy, she goes to God and asks for His help. Then, when she received the message that her older son would serve her younger son, she was not content to let this happen, but took steps to make sure that it would happen. This is important, particularly when one examines some Isaac's difficulties as a patriarch. Isaac consistently struggled with decision-making in difficult scenarios. Therefore, had Rebekah been inactive and unwilling to intervene, it seems unlikely that Jacob would have received Isaac's blessing, which was critical to the survival of Israel. Whether this activity was representative of women of her age and time, it is unique in the Bible, where women are frequently described as passive.

The Role of Prophecy in Rebekah's Life

In many ways, it would be easy to view Rebekah as a rebellious woman who consistently challenged convention, and even engaged in culturally taboo actions to further her own aims. However, that view of Rebekah undermines the importance that women could have in driving Biblical action. In order to truly understand Rebekah, one must look at the role that God's prophecy played in Rebekah's actions. Rebekah worked to make her favored son the recipient of his father's blessing, but she was also working to ensure that God's will would be done. By customs and law, Isaac's blessing was Esau's birthright, but this would have been devastating for the future of Israel, not because Esau was evil; there is no real textual support in the Old Testament to suggest that Esau was a bad man. However, it was specifically God's will that Jacob be the future of the nation of Israel, and all of Rebekah's actions helped further that goal, even if she had her own personal motivations, as well.

Rebekah as an Example of the Disobedient Woman

Many of the Biblical matriarchs are portrayed as somehow being disobedient. For some of these women, the consequences are horrible. For example, without Eve's disobedience, the concept of original sin would never have been created. However, it is a gross oversimplification to equate disobedience with displeasing God. Instead, it is critical to examine their actions within the context of the behavior. In fact, scholar Menakhem Perry suggests that the counter-stories in the Bible are often driven by the female characters in those stories and reveal apparently clashing human agendas, and the conflict itself serves as a means of driving the divine agenda.

Despite her later willingness to defy cultural norms, of the disobedient women in the Old Testament, Rebekah actually initially appears the most obedient and traditional. Examining her marriage to Isaac, Rebekah's behavior was very obedient. As a woman at that time, she was expected to enter into an arranged marriage and to change her allegiance from their parents to Isaac before even being able to develop a personal relationship with him. This probably could have been anticipated by her first interaction with Eliezer. The modern audience sees that Rebekah offered Eliezer water, which seems like a minor detail, but it was an example of her demonstrating the hospitality that would have been expected of an Israelite woman. Moreover, it was critical for an adult Israelite woman to marry and begin her family, and Rebekah seemed eager to being her role as wife and mother after her father agreed for her to marry.

However, there are early hints that Rebekah might be independent as well as obedient. Her eagerness to meet Isaac was a sign that she was willing to leave her family. Moreover, while it does not provide conclusive proof, the Biblical narrative suggests that Rebekah may have actively encouraged the marriage and even have helped engage in the negotiations for her marriage, activities that would have been outside the normal range of accepted behavior. While there are early hints that Rebekah is a disobedient woman willing to defy cultural conventions, the extent of her willingness to ignore cultural norms does not become apparent until her pregnancy. Rebekah is the first woman to directly beseech God, and the content of those questions is critical. Since women were introduced to sexual intercourse and its consequences, no woman had asked God a question about pregnancy. Instead, they simply dealt with the consequence of those pregnancies, suffering pains and possible loss without question. Rebekah challenged that convention by going directly to God with questions about her pregnancy. Even more critical is the fact that God was not displeased with Rebekah for her questions; instead, it was in response to those questions that he informed her about Jacob's critical role in the future of Israel.

Conclusion

The Bible is very polarizing in its depictions of women; Biblical women are either seen as good or bad with very little room for complexity in their personalities. Rebekah defies this convention. In many ways, she is an example of the deceiver, which is one of the anti-female themes that run throughout the Bible. Not only does she deceive her husband, but she does so to the detriment of one of her children. However, she may also be one of the most obedient women in the entire Bible; all of the seemingly immoral actions she takes are actually taken to further God's goals for Israel.