Saving Face Techniques for Managing

Saving Face

Techniques for Managing Anger

What specific techniques might the husband use to counter his anger? Explain why you chose this specific technique.

Case I:

Managing one's anger effectively is a part of every day life. From little frustrations like traffic jams to seemingly catastrophic work-related snafus, one's ability to navigating infuriating situations is essential to one's ability to maintain functionality and positive, healthy relationships. This is important to note because, in the present case study concerning an angry husband and his unemployed wife, the former party is not wrong in his frustrations but he is clearly wrong in his behavior. As the text by Abigail & Cahn (2011) shows, there are myriad anger management techniques that might be used in such a scenario not simply to prevent such terrible outbursts as the one which occurs here but also to bring constructive and corrective terms to a point of contention.

In the case, the wife has engaged in a number of behaviors which have created marital tensions. In the perception of her husband, she has not tried very hard to find a job nor has she done anything to help around the house during her considerable down-time. It is not unreasonable that the husband should experience frustration. However, that he should have responded by throwing his wife's laptop across a room and departing the house for a bar is neither rational nor constructive. It is indicative of severe anger management issues. This is why there are several techniques suggested by our text that would apply here. First and foremost, the husband in this case must learn to 'take time outs' when he finds his frustrations boiling over into such outbursts as the one described by the case.

The marriage would benefit significantly from a rational expression of the husband's frustrations. By taking a time out, walking away from his wife momentarily in order to get control over his emotions, and collecting his thoughts, the husband may find that he is better able to express the feelings of frustration with his wife. In turn, he may also find that with rational and calm discussion, she is able to defend her position as well. This might produce mutual understanding and consideration of ways that both parties can contribute to an improved living situation. This also points to another technique which is inherent to such a process of open communication. The text recommends that conflict partners find a way to 'uncover the emotion that is disguised as anger.' In this case, more open discussion on the issue could help to uncover latent issues in the relationship such as marital discontent, depression or other suppressed emotional patterns that have manifested as anger. Open communication may help to uncover the source of the wife's frustrating behavior.

It may well be that there is a reciprocal relationship between the husband's anger management issues and the wife's frustrating behaviors. Therefore, it is incumbent upon the husband to preemptively manage his temper. Thus, another technique which would seem to apply directly to the husband is that of finding alternative ways to release his anger. The husband might benefit from joining a gym or a sporting league, channeling his anger and frustration into more recreational pursuits.

Case II:

Explain the concept of face and how the characters could have supported one another's face using general techniques.

As the text by Abigail & Cahn (2011) indicates, conflict may often arise not out of an intentional desire to defy the will of another person but out of a fundamental misunderstanding of terms. Our primary text terms this misunderstanding as a failure to recognize or acknowledge the so-called 'demands of face.' These are often unspoken wants, needs and expectations formed by individuals in personal or working relationships and impasses in understanding these can contribute to festering sources of tension. This is well-demonstrated in the conflict permeating the relationship between Frank and Judy.

In many ways, both Frank and Judy have failed in using face to convey feelings and have failed in using face to recognize feelings in one another. This illuminates the concept of face as the general demeanor through which one expresses emotional and psychological disposition in the context of a relationship. Here, Frank and Judy's relationship would benefit substantially from the construct of Supportive Facework, in which both relationship partners work harder to empathize with the emotional signals being sent by one another.