Self-concept and Perception

My self-concept and perceptions influence my interpersonal communication in a variety of ways. First, my style of dress is a reflection of my self-concept and communicates in fashion how I perceive certain societal values and norms, whether I respect them, embody them and embrace them or whether I shun them, reject them, and disregard them. Second, my body language is a reflection of my self-concept and communicates the way in which I perceive my environment. Third, my verbal and written communications are a reflection of my self-concept and my express my perceptions about myself and the world around me in specific terms.
My self-concept is based on my own sense of self image, my roles in society, and my sense of place in the universe. I define myself by the feelings I have, the thoughts I possess, the work I do, the friends I have, my family, my beliefs, and my possessions. My self-concept is defined by my human and social capital—my connections, my learning, my goals, and my ability to make something of myself. All of these variables go into making up my self-concept (Baumeister, 1999; McLeod, 2008).
The role that self-concept plays in ethical communication is that I see myself as being a helpful member of society and one who attempts to uphold the social norms and structures that we all abide by. My self-concept helps to infuse my sense of ethical communication with a guideline, a method, a construct.
My self-concept is generally positive, because I see the good in all things and want to help others see it too. I do not like when people are negative or when they reflect too long on negative issues. We all know that people have flaws, but the point of living together as a society is to look past these things and to show a good example so that flaws can be corrected through learning rather than through scolding or berating and putting people down.
I can ethically influence the self-concept of others in exactly this way: by putting forward a good example of how to define one’s self, of how to live according to good principles that you embody, ideas that make up your sense of self, instead of allowing yourself to be oppressed by negativity, by circumstances in your environment that weigh on you. What I try to reflect in my self-concept is that you are not your surroundings or your environment; you are not your possessions, you are not your job, and you are not the classes you take in school. Those things may help you to define your self-concept, but you are the ultimate arbiter of your self-concept: you decide what you will focus on and serve and feed, and what you will let go, ignore, and set aside. You are in control of your own life, your thoughts, your will, your actions—and you are responsible for turning them towards the good or ideal self that we should all try to present to the world. In presenting my ideal self to the world, I submit my self-concept to the ideal self that I also possess in my mind and which I try to mirror in my daily life. By doing this, I feel that I can ethically influence the self-concept of others because I am putting forward a good example for them regarding how to define themselves and their sense of self in a positive manner.
This somewhat gets to the heart of the difference between self-concept and perception (Argyle, 2008). Perception is the manner in which we perceive reality, while our self-concept is how we see ourselves—it is our projection of ourselves. We take our perceptions and use them to construct our image of ourselves in other words.
An example of when my self-concept influenced my perceptions of someone would be when at work I wanted to develop my self-concept in a more positive way: I began to dress for work more professionally and to be more respectful, upbeat and helpful towards everyone, no matter who they were. I wanted to have a self-concept that was confident and capable but also gracious and humble. I began to see my co-workers as people like me instead of like obstacles to my goals. My perception of them changed and I valued them as teammates and as friends.
This impacted my communication with one person in particular whom I had always found it difficult to tolerate. I began to be more empathetic and willing to listen to what he said, then I would patiently discuss with him why I might disagree—but I would do so in a very non-combative manner because I could tell that he really appreciated my friendliness. I even began to hang out with him during breaks so that we could get to know one another better. It was a very positive influence because we became closely aligned at work and achieved great success on projects going forward.
Two guidelines for improving perception and communication that I would apply to my ethical communication skills would be 1) that it all starts with you and how you choose to define yourself, and 2) by viewing others with empathy and patience it is possible to build positive relationships. I would apply this guideline by instructing someone to first dismiss ideas of superiority and inferiority and instead see yourself and others as friends on a level playing field, where everyone is in need of a helping hand; you have two to offer, so don’t be afraid to extend them. Try to do this every day at least once a day and see the positive results that follow. The communication that we have with ourselves projects outward to others.
References
Argyle, M. (2008). Social encounters: Contributions to social interaction. Aldine
Transaction.
Baumeister, R. F. (1999). The self in social psychology. Philadelphia, PA: Psychology
Press.
McLeod, S. A. (2008). Self Concept. Retrieved from
https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-concept.html