The Real Definition Of Motherhood Essay

Length: 3 pages Subject: Plays Type: Essay Paper: #67069675 Related Topics: Definition, Adoption, Mother, Book Of Genesis
Excerpt from Essay :

¶ … Mother Who Never Was

The story being covered in this report was written by Lisa Buchanan and is entitled The Mother Who Never Was. The story centers on a woman who became pregnant and gave her child up for adoption at the age of eighteen. The actual narration and depiction of the story zeros in on the feelings, thoughts, actions and experiences she is going through nowadays given that the time that has passed since that fateful day. To be sure, Anna's motherly pangs and thoughts are still present even though she is not raising her birth daughter. However, the situation is obviously a lot more complex and involves a lot more people than just her and her daughter. Indeed, while the main character is the birth mother of child, Anna gave her up for adoption and she still greatly regrets that decision.


It becomes quite obvious from the onset of the story that the biological mother, that being Anna, is experiencing a great amount of regret and other heavy thoughts as it relates to having to give up her daughter for adoption. The genesis of the negative feelings has two main facets. The first facet is that Kathleen is her daughter but yet she has no contact or experiences with her, let alone one as close a mother and daughter. Second, there is the detail that Anna is not able to conceive another child and thus this adds to her regret of giving up Kathleen. Thus, unless she does adoption or something else along those lines, she herself will not be having her own child. Rather than focus on those sorts of possibilities, it is clear she is focusing on the birth daughter she does have. For example, she answers the phone by saying "hello, Kathleen" even though she has no idea who is actually on the other end of the phone call. It turns out to be her husband and he tries to tell her softly but firmly that she needs to "let it go" (Buchanan).

As becomes clear throughout the story, she is having an extremely hard time doing that. Further, she asserts (and is almost certainly correct) that her husband Ross, even though he is "patient and loving," cannot feel what she feels and thus does not feel her pain and regret (Buchanan). She concedes that Ross is patient and loving but all of his assurance and advice due little to quell the chaos that rages inside of her. Her fixation and focus on what has come to pass is extremely detailed and specific. She pines about what could have been if she had the money to raise the child, if she knew at the time this would be her only chance at biological motherhood and so forth. Regretfully, the social worker who handled her adoption case assured her she would have the option and ability to have children...


While that may be the case for the vast majority of women (younger women like Anna at the time in particular), this was tragically not the case for Anna. Indeed, it turns out that the social worker is wrong and Anna is now relegated to a mostly private hell where she does not speak of Kathleen all that much but yet she thinks about her every day (Buchanan).

Like many people in Anna's position, she tries to move on or at least distract herself by engaging in hobbies. The passion that Anna tries to engage in to pass the time and numb the regret she feels is gardening. Even so, her thoughts edging towards that of her daughter seems to be a never-ending theme that occurs in this story. For example, when she reads news stories about teenagers, no matter how sordid, her thoughts always come back to her daughter. One example cited in the book is Anna's perusal of a story about a "suicide pact" among some teenagers in New Jersey. In a bit of a disconcerting thought, Anna imagines how her daughter or her adoptive parents being some victim mentioned in the paper would be "comforting." That disturbing line of thought culminates with the phrase "or because the fantasy is something and the void is nothing" (Buchanan).

As the narrative goes on, there is a recitation of an instance where Anna was actually able to see the daughter when she was having dinner with her family. Anna recognized the adoptive mother and vice versa, but they were the only two people in the room that knew the gravity of those two women (not to mention Kathleen) being in the same place. Indeed, the adoptive mother's reaction was quite instant and quite major. As described by Anna, she went "white and damp, and her mouth fell open" (Buchanan). Anna reacted noticeably reacted as well and quickly exited the restaurant. As she fled and went home, her mind cycled through the ideas that…

Cite this Document:

"The Real Definition Of Motherhood" (2015, September 21) Retrieved January 25, 2022, from

"The Real Definition Of Motherhood" 21 September 2015. Web.25 January. 2022. <>

"The Real Definition Of Motherhood", 21 September 2015, Accessed.25 January. 2022,

Related Documents
Virginia Woolf's View of Women
Words: 6146 Length: 19 Pages Topic: Literature Paper #: 57699164

It would take an entire paper just to explicate all of the roles that women play today and how society has changed as a result. The point is that it has changed and that women play a much different role in literature today than they did even just a century ago during Woolf's time. Woolf saw just a glimpse into the social turn that has led to the present

Adrienne Rich Is One of
Words: 4334 Length: 15 Pages Topic: Sports - Women Paper #: 53895066

Rich describes her envy of a barren woman. A barren woman can be a woman who can't have children or a woman who simply does not have children. It can mean that the woman has chosen not the have children. If the barren woman is someone who has chosen not to have children, Rich contends that she may regret not have children and such a regret is a luxurious

Pregnancy Rates and Educational Attainment
Words: 12922 Length: 45 Pages Topic: Children Paper #: 69642112

These number from Halifax and Brunswick counties are alarming not only because of the high correlation between teen pregnancy and dropping out of school, but also because the interrelationship between educational proficiency and teenage pregnancy. For example, only "forty-one percent of teenagers who begin families before age 18 ever complete high school." (the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2006). Furthermore, "parenthood is a leading cause of high school drop

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
Words: 1979 Length: 5 Pages Topic: Race Paper #: 71366773

Slave Girl FDA Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl This report aims to present views of how ever since slavery, femininity and race have at times posed problems for a vast majority of minority women in the workplace and throughout history. Gender roles and definitions alter expectations which then affect how women experience life. Take for instance Rosa Parks who is best known for her role in the civil rights movement

Inequality in Canada, One of the Most
Words: 3247 Length: 10 Pages Topic: Sports - Women Paper #: 99347916

inequality in Canada, one of the most interesting, and depressing, factors is the way in which seemingly unrelated demographic factors work together to present difficulties above and beyond those faced by any single group, while simultaneously demonstrating how these seemingly unrelated factors all stem from the same underlying problems. This is particularly true when it comes to women's healthcare, an issue which has already received inadequate attention and support

Workplace Problem: Creating an Appropriate
Words: 900 Length: 3 Pages Topic: Careers Paper #: 65390799

The existence of on-site daycare becomes a 'perk' in attracting high-level talent during the peak years of productivity. Improvement Statistics make a compelling case: "savings in wages of $150,000 and $250,000 for just two companies that provided on-site day care" underline the advantage of retention and company loyalty through corporate daycare (Hahn 2007). Workers will be less apt to stay home when they cannot find care or a sitter -- also