This paper reviews Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn's Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, exploring the authors' argument that mindfulness — rooted in Buddhist moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness — is essential to effective parenting. The review examines the book's central thesis that parental presence and acceptance allow both children and parents to grow in wisdom and compassion. Special attention is given to two of the book's twelve practical exercises: adopting a child's point of view and offering sincere apologies. The reviewer concludes that the Kabat-Zinns' organic, mindfulness-based approach offers a more authentic alternative to prescriptive, scientifically framed parenting guides.
Buddhists depict mindfulness — which lies at the heart of their meditation — as moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness (Sengall, 2003, p. 4). Authors Jon Kabat-Zinn and Myla Kabat-Zinn use their work, Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, as a tool for parents that focuses on the need for mindfulness in raising children of all ages. The authors explain that parents today are often forced to live in a state that can be compared to "automatic pilot," and as a result frequently find it difficult to give their children the greatest gift a parent can offer — their complete presence — in an environment free from judgment and centered on acceptance.
The book's main focus is on taking each moment of a child's life and viewing it as an opportunity to see children for who they really are, body and soul. In doing so, a parent gains the capacity to learn more about themselves — both as a parent and as an individual. By embracing this notion, parents are able to grow in wisdom, knowledge, and compassion, all the while caring for their children. The Kabat-Zinns note that even the smallest degree of mindfulness can have profound effects on our children, no matter how old they are, and on the quality of our relationships with them.
In order to bring the book's concepts from the page into the real lives of readers, the authors include a list of twelve exercises for mindful parenting that readers can utilize in their own homes and environments. This approach is exceedingly helpful in breaking down the barrier between what we read and how we act — a barrier that frequently exists in the field of instructional or self-help literature. In attempting to apply these ideas in daily life, two specific exercises stand out for their power to alter one's perspective on parenting and the relationship between a child and a caregiver.
"Perspective-taking exercise encourages organic understanding"
"Sincere apology builds trust and models accountability"
In reading this work, I have been able to understand how good parenting often goes back to the basics in terms of mind and spirit. So often, when discussing parenting, individuals turn to "the books" — a series of "scientifically proven" methods for raising a healthy and happy child. After reading Everyday Blessings, it becomes clear that the task of raising a child is not a scientific one but an organic one, one that should depend on the mindfulness and actions of the parent far more than on the structured prescriptions offered by authors and doctors. Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn help parents return to the essentials of parenting — an approach that not only helps parents truly know their children, but also allows them to begin to fully know themselves.
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