Father and Son Perspectives on Methamphetamine Addiction

Introduction: Two Accounts of One Addiction

Drug and alcohol addiction is one of the most compelling problems faced on multiple levels by society in the United States and across the world today. On the societal level, the problem affects crime rates and public safety, as well as the relative moral fabric of society in general. On the collective level, it affects family unity and well-being. On the individual level, it destroys the lives and relationships of the addicts themselves. Indeed, there is no level on which addiction holds any long-term benefits. Sadly, it is the short-term high that takes precedence over all else for the addict. The fact that it is short-term creates a vacuum that is impossible to fill — yet filling this vacuum is the aim of all addicts, which creates long-term problems in the search for short-term solutions.

The Sheff family, and in particular the father and his eldest son, faced this problem over years of painful rehabilitations and relapses. In two honest, graphic accounts, father and son each wrote a book on this experience from their respective viewpoints. Reading these books successively is both painful and uplifting. Both writers offer an honest and very specific account of their respective journeys as Nic Sheff spiraled on an apparently helpless downward path into increasingly severe addiction with only one possible outcome. The reading is also a highly unusual experience; most published personal accounts offer either an internal or an external perspective, but seldom both. It is illuminating to compare the father and son's works regarding the nature of the addiction, its effects, and Nic's ultimate victory over it.

Narrative Structure and Personal Perspective

Nic Sheff's book, Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines, begins by focusing on his school years and a friend about whom there were "rumors" of drug addiction and rehab. The rest of the book is structured around his journey with his family, his friends, and his drugs. The structure is interesting, almost reading like the roller coaster ride Nic's drug addiction must have been. Starting at his seventeenth year, the story contains multiple flashbacks — some from as far back as early childhood, others from days, weeks, or months before the narrative present. At the end of the book, Nic offers an overview of his current life: living with a close friend, interacting with her family, and having adopted two cats. He has, finally, rebuilt his life and reestablished his writing career. One gets the feeling, however, that this rebuilding is a little precarious when he makes statements like "The feeling of vacancy I always had really isn't there anymore" and "I guess I just don't hate myself like I used to" (N. Sheff, 2009, p. 279). The words "really" and "guess" lend a sense of uncertainty to these statements. Perhaps this indicates that true rehabilitation, however solid its foundations, is always only a process of turning away from addiction one day at a time.

Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction tells Nic's story from the parent's perspective. In contrast to the younger Sheff's work, David Sheff's account is far more linear, exposing far more of the external ripple effects of Nic's addiction. David introduces his book with Nic returning from college for a home visit. The tell-tale signs of drug addiction are evident in his description of the extremely thin, sallow-faced, and hollow-eyed boy who greets his family at the airport. While all is well at first, the account describes escalating deceptions and an ultimate relapse during the stay. The body of the work traces David's history with his son in detail — from his first marriage through a number of relationships and a second marriage. Interestingly, Nic's turbulent early years were mitigated by therapy sessions and loving parents and stepparents. It was only at age eleven, according to Nic's own account, that addiction problems began to surface. Flashbacks in David's work occur generally when Nic reveals things his father did not previously know, such as Nic's first experiment with alcohol at age eleven or his pot smoking with friends at school.

Social Support and the Addict's Subculture

In both books, the social support aspect of overcoming addiction is strongly emphasized. In Nic's book, his association with unstable girlfriends such as Lauren and his friendships with people known by names like Gack and Bullet tended to escalate his addiction. The reader is made to feel that these relationships go beyond simple peer pressure to appear "cool" within a particular social group. Drug addicts appear to form a subculture of their own. The sense of feeling "whole" that Nic describes upon first discovering meth seems closely associated with belonging to these groups. Nic also describes how addicts tend to just "find each other," as if there is a kind of radar that connects them. It is also within this group that Nic sets up a precarious business as a drug dealer to help fund his addiction. It is only when he associates with wholesome people — to the exclusion of his less savory connections — that Nic manages to maintain his sobriety. His sponsor, his family, and his new friends ultimately help him maintain focus on his work and his recovery.

What is notable about David's account is that he admits his own form of addiction: an obsessive preoccupation with his son's addiction and the search for ways to help. His relentless research into methamphetamine and its treatment ultimately affects his relationship with his wife and his other children, producing a powerfully isolating effect. In contrast to his son, however, David's broader relationships helped mitigate that isolation because he had no reinforcing social circle driving him toward a downward spiral. When David recognizes the destructive effect of his psychological fixation, he puts a stop to it. Ultimately, he tells his weeping son to find his own way out of addiction with the help of his sponsor. David realizes he has done all he can and that Nic will have to make his own decision to turn back from a spiral that could only end in death. There is a kind of resigned fatalism in this recognition, but also — like Nic's own understanding — an acknowledgment that the road is precarious and can only be navigated by turning one's back on it entirely. In both books, there is a shared understanding that the final responsibility for rehabilitation lies with the addict. As David states, "our children live or die with or without us. … we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die" (D. Sheff, 2009, p. 15). David could make only his own decision to return to life, but not the decision for his son.

Conclusion

Reading Tweak and Beautiful Boy together offers a rare and deeply human view of addiction as experienced simultaneously from inside and outside. Neither father nor son hides any aspect of their own experiences, feelings, and journeys throughout Nic's addiction. Neither ends their works with any of the self-deception that surfaces at the start of their journey. Both seem to gain an understanding that honesty is the only way towards life and freedom. Taken together, the two memoirs reinforce the conclusion that recovery is not a destination but an ongoing, daily choice — one that requires radical honesty, a supportive social environment, and the ultimate acceptance of personal responsibility.

References

Sheff, N. (2009). Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines. New York: Atheneum Books.

Sheff, D. (2009). Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction. New York: Houghton Mifflin Co.