Ideal Wife in Qing Dynasty and Revolutionary China

Introduction

The treatment of women in China has long been a subject of debate. Strict traditional views restricted the rights and privileges of Chinese women for many years. For the purposes of this discussion, the focus is on the role of the ideal wife as it relates to the late Qing Dynasty and the Revolutionary period. The paper investigates how the idea of the ideal wife changed during these periods, beginning with a historic overview of the role of women and marriage during much of the Qing Dynasty.

Historic Overview of Marriage in the Qing Dynasty

Under the Qing Dynasty, marriage was expected of all young men and women. The point at which marriage was seen as necessary was during the teenage years, also referred to as young adulthood. Although young adults throughout China married, the period known as young adulthood was something designated for the elite. According to Smith (1994), this time seemed ideal for marriage because it was the stage at which the demands of education and parental involvement began to decrease. During this time, Chinese males were given a great deal of sexual freedom and allowed to sleep with prostitutes, while Chinese females were expected to remain virgins and their social lives were restricted. In late imperial times, males were capped and females were forced to bind their hair (Smith 1994). Marriage usually took place between the ages of 16 and 18 for women and 18 to 21 for men (Smith 1994). Once the ceremonies marking marriage were performed, adulthood began regardless of age.

Smith (1994) asserts that everyone in China was expected to marry regardless of social status, including slaves. He notes that "the Qing legal code stipulated that slave owners were subject to criminal punishment if they neglected to find husbands for their female slaves. The purpose of marriage was to continue the male line of descent. In the words of the Record of Ritual: 'The rites of marriage unite two [different] surnames in love, in order to maintain services in the ancestral temple and to ensure the continuation of the family line.' Marriage was thus an alliance between two different families, not a matter of individual choice and mutual affection" (Smith 1994).

Under the law, those marrying could not have the same surname even if they were not related (Smith 1994). Marriages were usually arranged by elders and parents, who might take into consideration the feelings of the couple, but whatever they decided was binding and legal. According to Smith (1994), these individuals were known as matchmakers. The matchmakers were responsible for taking "into account not only the relative social positions of the two families involved but also certain important economic and personal factors such as family wealth and individual character. Ideally, the match was expected to benefit both parties, which generally meant that the families had to be of approximately equal status and means, or that one family might contribute greater status while the other contributed greater wealth. Some Qing officials, such as Chen Hongmou, deplored 'viewing women as commodities' (shi wei qihuo), but financial considerations almost always loomed large in marriage calculations" (Smith 1994).

The matchmaker position was taken very seriously. Once the matchmakers investigated both families, the matchmaker would propose a match to the groom's family (Smith 1994). The matchmaker also served as a negotiator for betrothal gifts or betrothal money the groom's family would give to the bride's family (Smith 1994). The bride's family, in turn, had to decide on the proper dowry to send with the bride at the time of transfer for exhibition at the groom's home (Smith 1994).

Smith (1994) also asserts that marriage was considered to be a contract during the Qing Dynasty. The contracts could be made orally or in writing, but there was always great emphasis placed on marriages that solidified their social importance. Another feature of marriage during the Qing Dynasty was the variety of marriage types that existed. These included major marriages and minor marriages. A major marriage took place when an adult bride was taken from her home and placed into the home of her new husband (Smith 1994). A minor marriage was different in that the female was raised in the home of her future husband from childhood as a daughter-in-law and later married into the family. Minor marriages were most common among poor people in China (Smith 1994).

There was also a reversal of the minor marriage known as the matrilocal marriage. This form was rare and usually took place when a family had many sons and the family of the female had none (Smith 1994). Smith asserts that "the distribution of major, minor, and matrilocal marriages throughout China hinged on several factors: family status, wealth, social organization (especially lineage ties), and geography. Major marriages dominated the social landscape of North China, but in many southern areas the alternative forms predominated" (Smith 1994).

There was also a type of marriage referred to as marrying the spirit. This took place when the intended groom died before the marriage occurred. According to Parsons and Yang (1959), "When a woman was betrothed to a man and the man died before the marriage, 'marrying the spirit' in full wedding ceremony was sometimes arranged with the consent of the parents of both families, and the bride went through all the ceremonies next to a wooden tablet with the dead man's name and dates of birth and death written on it."

One final marital arrangement during the Qing Dynasty was the institution of the concubine (Smith 1994). Like many cultures throughout the world, Chinese culture at this time held that it was within the bounds of marriage for a man to have not only a wife but also concubines (Smith 1994). In ancient times, this practice was used to ensure that many sons were produced (Smith 1994). Concubines were usually purchased by wealthy families from poor families. Smith explains: "upon entering her new family, a concubine usually had to participate in ceremonies designed to show her subservience to the wife. Qing law prohibited the degradation of a principal wife to the position of concubine or the elevation of a concubine to the position of principal wife. As further testimony to her inferiority, a concubine was required to observe the same degree of mourning for her master's wife as she was for his parents, his sons (by the principal wife or other concubines), and her own sons. Her sons were expected to treat the principal wife as their own mother, and by custom they were entitled to equal rights of inheritance along with the sons of the wife. Paternity was what mattered in Chinese marriages, and in divorce, the husband almost always received custody of the children" (Smith 1994).

Additionally, there was a great deal of social pressure placed on widows not to remarry, rooted in Confucian values. This inability to remarry created a large surplus of men seeking wives, and it is believed that nearly 10% of men were never married as a result (Smith 1994).

The actual marital ceremony was composed of the six rites ritual. These six rituals include:

1. Nacai — the selection of the match by the matchmaker (Smith 1994).
2. Wenming — formal exchange of astrological information about the couple (Smith 1994).
3. Naji — a test of the match between the couple by means of divination, usually performed by fortunetellers (Smith 1994).
4. Nazbeng (or the betrothal) — acceptance of betrothal gifts sealed the match (Smith 1994).
5. Ginji — concerned with choosing the correct time to exchange the bride (Smith 1994).
6. Ginying — also referred to as "welcoming the bride." According to Smith (1994), "On the day preceding this ceremony, the groom was supposed to be 'capped' and given an adult name and the bride's hair was put up in ritual fashion. Meanwhile, the groom's family had arranged to send the brightly decorated wedding chair to the wife's home, and the wife's family had her trousseau sent to his. On the day of the transfer, the bride paid solemn obeisance to her parents and ancestors, received a brief lecture on her wifely duties, and entered the gaudy red sedan chair that would take her on a noisy, ostentatious, and circuitous journey to her husband's home."

According to Smith (1994), during the Qing Dynasty some of these rituals were merged together; however, certain basic staples of the ritual remained intact throughout the dynasty. Other symbols were also incorporated into the ceremony, all of them positive or protective in meaning. The color red was used to symbolize good fortune and happiness and appeared in costumes and on candles. Firecrackers were symbolic of purification and joy. The food served at a marriage ceremony was also symbolic — fruit and longevity noodles, for example, represented harmony, happiness, and prosperity. The marriage arrangement was detailed and, for the wealthy, extravagant during the Qing Dynasty.

Once the transfer was complete, the wife was wholly immersed in pleasing her husband and his family. All kinship ties to her own family were broken, and when she visited them she was considered a guest, not a relative. Smith (1994) asserts that this was a cause of great distress for many new wives because they found themselves among strangers and the mother-in-law held considerable influence. The son was bound to obey his mother's wishes, making it commonplace for a mother-in-law to request that her son divorce his wife. Smith (1994) also explains that there were seven grounds for which a husband could seek divorce: adultery, no offspring, stealing, disobedience to the husband's parents, incurable disease, being too talkative, and jealousy. There were also three grounds for which a husband could not divorce his wife: if her husband was poor when they married and later became wealthy; if she had no family to return to; and if she had grieved as a daughter for her husband's deceased parents (Smith 1994).

Smith (1994) does acknowledge that "at least to a degree the interests of the wife were protected by her biological parents and former kinsmen, since marriage was a family affair. Nonetheless, we know that many women found married life intolerable and either ran away or committed suicide. Others, under rather special circumstances, made a conscious choice never to marry."

Another aspect of being the ideal Chinese wife was the acceptance of concubines. This was a source of disagreement for many women because concubines were chosen by the husband rather than by a third party (Smith 1994). Concubines were usually selected for their beauty or talent rather than their family connections (Smith 1994). The stated purpose of a concubine was to produce more children, though for the very wealthy it became an extravagant status symbol (Smith 1994). Despite their social inferiority to the principal wife, concubines were "often the primary object of the husband's sexual attention and thus a potential source of jealousy" (Smith 1994).

Another practice that was routine for women — and that made them more appealing to potential husbands during the Qing Dynasty — was footbinding. This practice originated in the Tang-Song period and spread throughout the country during the Yuan Dynasty. Initially it was practiced among women from elite social classes (Smith 1994), but during the Qing Dynasty it became prevalent throughout all of China (Smith 1994). Footbinding was consistently associated with eroticism in Chinese culture; footbound women were considered appealing to men partly because of beliefs about the effect of bound feet on a woman's sexual performance (Smith 1994).

Schrecker (1991) asserts that this practice had lasting effects on what women and wives could achieve in Chinese society: "Girls had their feet bound when they were young, and the limbs remained undersized and deformed throughout their lives. The custom was considered attractive and erotic, but it was painful and cruel. It also had repercussions far beyond sexual matters, for it was both a symbol of the subordination of women and a powerful factor that contributed to their continuing loss of independence and to blocking their possibilities for equality. Foot binding began in the Song among the elite and by the Ming had spread in varying degrees to the whole population, baleful testimony to the general integration of society" (Schrecker 1991).

The Role of the Ideal Wife During the Qing Dynasty

This practice ensured that once a woman was married she would be totally and completely dependent on her husband. She was also in constant pain. Footbinding served the purpose of keeping women subservient to men at every level of society. As Smith (1994) explains, "The spatial organization that embodied the inner/outer and male/female distinctions was reinforced by footbinding — a restructuring of the woman's body itself. Footbinding has been construed as the most graphic symbol of the restriction and victimization that women suffered in the male-centered Chinese family system."

The evidence indicates that during the Qing Dynasty the ideal wife was expected to be subservient to her husband. Arranged marriages were the norm, and wives were at the total mercy of their husband's family. The purpose of the ideal wife was to provide sons and to accept whatever concubines her husband chose. During this period, Chinese women had very few rights and even less freedom. Footbinding further degraded women's position in society and caused lifelong, irreversible pain. Women were not encouraged to be educated and were entirely dependent on their husbands for financial support.

The fall of the Qing Dynasty brought with it significant changes for women in Chinese society. One important change was the effort to educate women. According to Arthur Judson Brown's account in The Chinese Revolution (1912), many schools for girls were created during this period of transition. The Empress Dowager ordered a large Lama convent to be converted into a girls' school, and she sent the Imperial High Commissioners to study American institutions in 1906, directing them to pay close attention to institutions designed for the education of women (Brown 1912). Notably, "An order of the Imperial Board of Education decreed that only girls whose feet were not bound should be admitted to the schools under government supervision" (Brown 1912).

The institution of marriage was profoundly affected by the Chinese Revolution. The education of Chinese women introduced Western philosophies concerning marriage, and according to Parsons and Yang (1959), this Western influence brought the demise of the traditional Chinese family. Young women no longer wished to engage in arranged marriages, which created great conflict between the old and younger generations. Earlier, the discussion noted how parents exercised significant control over their daughters-in-law; Parsons and Yang (1959) explain that the concept of marital freedom was problematic for the older generation precisely because it stripped away that control:

"Marriage born of romantic love has all the opposite effects of an arranged marriage. The husband-wife relationship is the core, overshadowing the role of the parents, and the intimacy and affection in such a marriage would seriously threaten the dominance of parental affection, loyalty, and authority, if not replace it altogether. If the daughter-in-law should come into the family of her own volition and through affection for her husband, it would be difficult for her to subordinate her role to the will of the parents-in-law" (Parsons and Yang 1959).

Footbinding and Female Subordination

The older generation saw marital freedom as the abandonment of traditional family values. For young people — women in particular — marital freedom offered the ability to experience romance and to develop a genuine relationship with a future spouse (Parsons and Yang 1959). The authors contend that "for the woman, since arranged marriage required her to enter abruptly into intimate relations with a man with whom she had had no previous contact, the secret desire for marriage through love had a strong appeal" (Parsons and Yang 1959).

Although the revolution of 1911 was primarily a political event, it carried with it a summons to a new social order, most evident among educated young people. The idea of marital freedom was dangerous in the eyes of many who vehemently opposed this new way of thinking. Parsons and Yang (1959) illustrate this with a striking example: "In 1912 a female teacher from a Shanghai elementary school openly made friends with a male colleague, fell in love with him, and the two secretly decided to be married. When the affair became known to others there was gossip accusing the two of promiscuity. The woman was especially attacked as one of immoral character. Under the crushing attack of public opinion and stern warnings from parents of both parties, the man weakened and told the woman he could not marry her. She now found society turned against her, and after leaving the man a heart-rending letter, she committed suicide. In some cases both the man and the woman were driven to suicide by group pressure in the form of social ostracism and public gossip."

For many years Chinese families struggled with the new approaches to marriage. Finally, in 1950 a new marriage law was passed. This law abolished the arbitrary traditional form of marriage and replaced it with a new democratic form. The new democratic form of marriage was of particular importance to wives because it gave them some control over their own lives. For instance, the law abolished the practice of paying a bride price. Under the new law, all a couple had to do to get married was complete a registration form. The law's legal provisions required "complete willingness of the two parties" and prohibited: the use of compulsion or the interference by third parties including parents; polygamy, including the taking of concubines; child brides; interference with the remarriage of widows; the exaction of money or gifts; violation of minimum age requirements for marriage; and marriage between close kin, by the sexually impotent, or by those afflicted with certain diseases. There was no requirement for the ceremonial celebrations stipulated in traditional marriage or in the marriage law of the Nationalist government (Parsons and Yang 1959).

In addition to the new marriage laws, the revolution also produced new divorce laws that were significant for wives. Under traditional Chinese marriage, women had no right to divorce their husbands, and husbands were given custody of the children. Under the new divorce laws, women were granted the ability to retain custody of children. Wives were also granted rights to property and support from their former husbands. The new divorce law specified that "Custody of the children shall be decided 'in accordance with the interests of the children'" (Marriage Law, Article 20), which in practice most frequently meant granting custody to the wife (Parsons and Yang 1959).

The new divorce law also required that a father pay child support if the mother was found to be the better parent. Article 21 of the Marriage Law states: "after divorce, if the mother is given custody of a child, the father shall be responsible for the whole or part of the necessary cost of the maintenance and education of the child." The father's responsibility could be discharged "in cash, in kind, or by tilling the land allocated to the child." The law further provided that "in case of divorce, the wife shall retain such property as belonged to her prior to her marriage" (Parsons and Yang 1959).