Why People Gossip and How It Affects Society

Introduction: Defining Gossip

Dirt, mudslinging, hearsay, and tittle-tattle are all words synonymous with gossip. Encarta defines gossip as "conversation about personal or intimate rumors or facts, especially when malicious; informal and chatty conversation or writing about recent and often personal events." Rumors are closely related to gossip in that they are usually gossip spread and repeated about a person's intimate details.

According to Robin Dunbar, author of Grooming, Gossip and the Evolution of Language, gossip is a natural part of the human species. Apes and monkeys — humanity's closest kin — used language to keep up to date on the happenings of friends and family, just as we do. Dunbar believes that we need conversation to stay in touch, and we need it in ways that cannot be satisfied by teleconferencing, email, or any other interpersonal communication technology.

Why People Gossip

From a religious perspective, Rabbi Stephen Wylen suggests in his book The Power of the Word that "idle gossip and malicious speech are the most frequent and pervasive sins of ordinary life." He believes people either consciously or unconsciously "persist in patterns of speech that disrupt relationships, create unhappiness, and even endanger lives." However one chooses to rationalize gossip, it has become so deeply embedded in American culture that we often cannot decipher mere gossip from genuine news. This paper presents a discussion on gossip — particularly why gossiping is so popular, how it affects people and society, and various ways to prevent it.

There are many common reasons that people engage in gossip. People may be bored with their own lives and seek stimulation through the affairs of others. Some feel that to contribute meaningfully to a conversation they must bring other people down. Jealousy and envy of others frequently fuel gossip, as does general unhappiness or dissatisfaction with one's own life. Some people have nothing substantive to say, and believe that bad-mouthing others or spreading rumors will make them appear important or intelligent to those who listen.

There are many reasons why people engage in gossip, whether they are the talebearer or the one lending an ear. It must be noted that gossip does not necessarily have to be a lie; rather, it is the telling of a person's intimate dealings to others. There is no such thing as truly harmless gossip. If a person is rumored to be receiving a raise or a promotion, some may be happy while others feel envious. Those who are jealous may come to scorn the subject of the rumor. Even if the person is praised, the rumor is still gossip. Sometimes relationships, careers, friendships, and other important aspects of a person's life can be seriously damaged or impaired by gossip. Some celebrities have lost their careers over vicious, malicious gossip; even so-called "innocent" gossip can prove equally harmful.

In the Christian Bible, the book of Proverbs chapter 26 tells the story of a gossiper and how she affected another man's life. When she realized what she had done, she went to him and apologized, saying she would do anything to make amends. He told her to take a sackful of feathers, go to a certain street corner, and cast the feathers to the wind. She did so, and when she returned to report, he directed her to go back and retrieve every feather. She exclaimed that it was impossible — the wind had scattered them everywhere. "So it is with the things you have said," he replied; "there is no way to repair the damage that you have done."

Psychologists contend that people gossip out of jealousy, fear, hate, low self-esteem, and other mental and emotional issues. It is also theorized that gossip is a way to "take" something from someone else — an attack on a person's reputation. Gossip is used to exert control over another person and to feel superior among one's peers.

Effects of Gossip on People and Society

Gossip can cause real and lasting harm to those it targets. Sometimes relationships, careers, and friendships are seriously destroyed or impaired. Beyond the individual level, gossip shapes the social environments in which people live and work. Psychologists and social researchers have found that gossip usually stems from envy, jealousy, or other emotional difficulties. As Robert Trivers, Ph.D., one of the originators of evolutionary psychology, explains: "Much malicious gossip is conducted unconsciously, an act that requires self-deception. But humans are especially adept at it; it helps us to maintain consistent social performance." He further notes that "in the world of gossip, self-deception often takes the form of genuinely believing one is on the high moral ground of charitable sympathy, looking down on one's slowly sinking victim."

There is also an extensive body of research, summarized in the work of sociologist Lee Ellis, Ph.D., and epidemiologist Richard Wilkinson, Ph.D., showing that among humans — as in other primate species — being of high rank confers an important array of benefits: health, wealth, and happiness. This helps explain why people use gossip to forge alliances and gain influence over others, regardless of the harm it causes to those being gossiped about.

In order to distinguish gossip from real information, a person should ask: Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary? If the answer is no — or uncertain — then what is being shared is more than likely gossip.

Conclusion

Whether in the workplace or out, people need to be considerate of others when they use the most powerful tool they have — the power of words. Gossip, while deeply rooted in human nature and social behavior, carries real consequences for real people. Recognizing the motivations behind gossip, understanding its effects, and taking deliberate steps to prevent its spread are essential to maintaining healthy relationships and communities.