"Try to find out what really is driving the other side's agenda. it's vital to know the real need behind a person's position" (Tyler 2004:2).
Conflicts should also be expressed as rationally as possible, without too much unnecessary emotion, although if emotional difficulties are at the heart of the issue, it is not inappropriate to allow them to enter the fray, so long as it is done respectfully. Saying that 'you hurt my feelings' is an accurate statement, saying 'I know you meant to hurt me,' comes across as an attack and imputes motive onto the other party. In fact, in highly fraught matters, it can be "important to acknowledge the emotions first and get those out of the way" (Tyler 2004:1).
But allowing emotions to be expressed does not mean a no-holds-barred verbal boxing match; rather it is best to avoid all intentionally harmful statements that communicate nothing but anger. "When you verbally attack, you create enemies and put individuals on the defensive. This means that you are reducing the chances of quickly resolving any conflict. Just remember the Hippocratic Oath: 'Do no harm'" when resolving a dispute (Roper 2005:2). Expressing anger is not the same thing as attacking, and attacking accomplishes nothing productive. This is why it is critical to "set your priorities," when entering a mediating or a negotiating session, so that the point of the discussion doesn't become vengeful (Tyler 2004:1). Revenge is not a constructive priority.
Some helpful advice when tensions rise are to review what the other person has said, who has just spoken and to "ask questions to get answers to the things" that remain unclear, or remain points of serious contention, "for example, say, 'To get at the crux of the issue, I need answers to my questions. Why did Ken hurl a racial insult at Mohammed?'" (Roper 2005:2). In fact, sometimes all people desire is the sense that their feelings have been 'heard' and that they have a chance to tell their side of the story. One professional...
A good manager is a good diplomat. "There are few if any fundamental competencies that an HR professional needs more than negotiation" (Tyler 2004:1). As with any negotiation, the channels of communication must remain open even after the parties have come to an agreement. The door cannot be closed, lest the conflicts fester again. Just like with any wound or sore, follow-up is necessary to ensure that the dispute was truly healed, and the decision that was arrived upon was successful in addressing the concerns of both parties.
Finally, a good organization should also incorporate diversity training workshops into its orientation and regular reeducation of its employees, to ensure that persons responsible for mediation and conflict resolution are aware that different levels of openly expressed dissent are acceptable in different cultures. Also, after a company merger there may be conflicts between employees from the two organizational cultures. No workplace will be conflict free, but provided conflicts are negotiated rationally, openly, and with active listening and respect shown towards both sides, the workplace will remain a productive and constructive environment.
Works Cited
Roper, Greg. (May 2005). "Managing employee relations: develop interpersonal communications and conflict-management skills to better manage employee relations." HR Magazine. Retrieved 3 Apr 2007 at http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_5_50/ai_n13721394
Tyler, Kathryn. (Nov 2004). "The art of give-and-take: negotiation skills can help HR professionals in almost every aspect of their careers." HR Magazine. Retrieved 3 Apr 2007 at http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_11_49/ai_n7072280/pg_3
