Note: Sample below may appear distorted but all corresponding word document files contain proper formattingExcerpt from Essay:
Elg & Robinson
This promotional material contains photos and other visuals of the Elg & Robinson storefront without the company sign at the entry of the Coles Supermarket, the storefront with the company sign, some prepared meat products, population forecasts in Hobsons Bay City, promotional photograph for the company, and a photography for the company Customer Loyalty Program.
The first photo shows the side of the storefront at the entry of the Coles Supermarket but which does not show the identifying company sign. The second photo shows the front part of the store at the Supermarket and the company name, elegantly lighted and posted on top of the store. The third photo shows a portion of the counter with prepared meat products. The fourth photo consists of population statistics of Hobson Bay City. The fifth photo shows office supplies with Elg & Robinson's logo. And the sixth photo shows items associated with the company Customer Loyalty Program.
Before Philip Elg and Peter Robinson put up their meat business in 2009, they made sure they complied with the regulations required by relevant authorities, such as Primesafe, auditing bodies and AMIC (2011). Philip's ownership and operation of the famous Strand Restaurant in Williamstown for 18 years and his hospitality came in handy at this point. Peter, on the other hand, developed an expert career as a butcher, initially as an apprentice, at Willow Meats in Glen Waverley 27 years earlier. He later bought the store and operated another store in Woori Yallock with a partner. He eventually sold his shops and managed stores for Olivers and Lindens until he joined Philip in launching their Williamstown meat store (AMIC).
Elg & Robinson stands directly across a Coles store in Douglas Parade Williamstown (AMIC 2011). It has three full-time butchers from a total of 12 employees. The store offers a wide line of products, including its Victorian award-winning Ham on the Bone, gourmet pies, soups and lasagna and other small goods. It also sells seafood products. Elg & Robinson won the 2010 Ham on the Bone category in the AMIC Small Goods contest. Philip and Peter also won the Hobson's Bay Retailer Award given by the AMIC and the local press. Peter sees the store as no longer as a butcher shop but as a "fresh food specialist. In 2010, Peter was elected into the Victorian AMIC Retail Council (AMIC)."
The company has taken a proactive norm in the meat industry sector and has been revolutionizing the traditional butcher shop image. It has been altering its company image into a fresh food retail that seeks to fill the needs of the modern family. It has the support of the Australian Meat Industry Council in which Peter Robinson is a voluntary member. Partners Philip and Peter are also involved in Meat and Livestock Australia. They host an ambassador's group, consisting of 10 members of groups in Australia. Membership is by invitation only and based on the invitee's contribution to the advancement of the industry. The host butcher, such as Elg & Robinson, tours new members three or four times a year. Each tour usually consists of up to 35 butchers from Australia. The purpose of the tour is to observe innovative approaches in the industry as well as to gather expert advice on how to compete more effectively in this market. The host butcher does not treat visiting butcher members as competitors but as fellow contributors who can help enhance the sector.
The promo material gives an idea of space and openness to shoppers in the supermarket. The monitor at the left side should flash recent offerings as well as favorites. The shot provides the impression of cleanliness and orderliness. The products are presented in visually clear way with the price tags. While it suggests that this staff belongs to Elg & Robinson, the sign is not visible. A caption should say so. A blown-up shot with a caption will give that indication, but a smaller shot will not.
From first glance, only the meat products on display are visible. The other products should be interspersed and the shot should have captured them as well. The lighting is, however, strong enough to produce the effect of distinction and color. It has a come-alive effect, which is visually pleasant.
The photo likewise gives an impression of proximity to shoppers and this is also good. If this photo can be accompanied by a paragraph, it should describe the time of the day and the mood of the shoppers. It may also be better if one of the employees stands behind the counter. Without a person behind, it suggests that the store is not operating or closed at the time of the shot. It does not create a good impression.
For a more picturesque presentation, the products should have been mixed with complementing small goods of other colors to blend with the overall pinkness of the meats. It will deliver the message that Elg & Robinson sells other fresh food products than meats. There should also be minimal items on the top of the side table at the background so as not to block the visual path of those who will look at the promotional material.
This photo should be used only to complement others, which show the company sign or name. It should serve only to show the location from the side.
The long paragraph adds a lot of information to the promotional photograph. The photo, however, should have been a closer shot, showing the products more clearly rather than merely describing them. Again, it may be better if a seller is shown behind the counter to create a perception of activity.
The title of the paragraph or long caption should have been more descriptive instead of the single word, "product." A catchy phrase will be better.
The mention of pre-packed small goods displayed in a separate space is good. Instead of just describing the motivations of the partners in offering prepared or partly-prepared meat meals to time-conscious buyers, these products should have been displayed. Otherwise, the paragraph should have stated that these prepared or partly-prepared products are presented in other photos in the same promotional material. The mere mention of the partners' desire to offer only high-quality restaurant meals does not compensate for the lack of photos of these meals. The bulletin board at the background may be used to announce new offerings to call attention to them. The videos should continue showing the different product lines, whether vended at the counter, not available or soon to be offered. There should be small but visible signs of the product lines on the glass for ease of distinction and transaction.
The company name appears neat and elegant in the photo. The overall appearance is not cluttered and welcoming even to passers-by. The lighting over the heads of the sellers should be stronger. The egg cases piled up on the left of the photo hamper the reading of the sign about Otway Pork. Another shot at another angle or when the egg cases have been removed for full viewing of the Otway Pork sign.
Why is "local area" the title of this paragraph? It should be something more appropriate like "the best of meats -- all the time."
There should be a full paragraph description of the meats and why people should buy them. This material is supposed to promote Elg & Robinson's meat products and not the locality where they are sourced. If the local area is relevant to the freshness, then a connection should be made in the text of the paragraph.
The population statistics should not be a listing but only an enumeration. A generalization should be made before and after the listing or enumeration. The figures will make sense if the message delivered is that the demand for Elg & Robinson's fresh meats will increase along the population of Hobsons Bay. There is a better way of presenting the data that will make them part of a whole paragraph with a motivational message. The word "people" in the forecasts should be deleted. Population always refers to people. It is also more readable to use the percentage sign (%) than the words "per cent."
The meats should be individually labeled or described, either with paper signs or an enumeration in the caption. The caption should also mention that other product lines are not included.
The text should be rewritten as follows:
When asked about Elg & Robinson's range of products, Mr. Robinson explained that they needed to maintain a certain amount of fresh meat & #8230;. He went on to say that the industry changes. That was where he said they were very fortunate as butchers who have diversified into fresh fish. The make their own small goods. Moreover, Elg & Robinson posited itself right outside a major supermarket -- the only one in Williamstown. The supermarket serves 30,000 people per week. He claimed that 70% of what the store displays is not…[continue]
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