Sometimes as the authors mention, could be done with looking at movies that are considered romantic or even things that are just on the television. Some even feel that being in a setting that feels romantic or just looking at somebody that might be friend or even a stranger.
The authors do a thorough job in mentioning how sensuous inputting that can come from within. Maybe there is no particular event or situation that may stimulate a person's sexual desire, instead a person's sexual awareness could possibly grow out of relaxing and also body oriented time.
The chapter also makes the point that spending time with your spouse is what will most likely get you to get interested in a sexual way. As the chapter relates, this is mostly true if a person's sexual experience is normally fulfilling and void of and free anxiety. The chapter makes the point that they find that working with each other or playing together usually tends to draw a person in that certain direction. The chapter talks about how they recognized that couples really need to spend time together. The state that in these times that they have to be free of demands like for example expectations for sexual intercourse, obligations that are regarding children, pressures that are coming from work, and distractions that are coming from other involvements that are external.
The chapter makes the point that sexual energy that is available to a person is important for sexual desire. Sexual arousal is different from sexual desire. Arousal happens when a person's body starts responding to stimulation. They carry on in making the point that that sexual manifestation of people sex drive or their libido. The authors go on to discuss that some sexual energy is used for what is considered creative production. This would involve things like establishing a new business, being submerged in musical achievement or focusing on things like sports.
The authors believe that creativity is requiring a great deal of energy, that people will probably have less of a sex drive left. In that case that person will probably start feeling a less desire for wanting to get involved with sex. The lack of having the desire to become involved with sex can really be very beneficial those that are singles but can be detrimental to a marriage relationship. The talks about how when stress comes into the picture and how it is likely to start developing when one certain spouse is burning up sexual energy that is in a nonsexual pursuit and the other spouse happens to want more sexual involvement .
In addition, the authors show in this chapter that being used up for creative productions, in return the sex drive of a person can get burned up by emotional stress like that of anxiety, depression and even some conflict. An individual that is really suffering from this kind of stress would possibly not have any type of sexual desire at all (Martindale, 2009).
The chapter makes the point that since sexual desire is an outgrowth of a sexual drive or even the energy that has come open in a person's body, exercise, nutrition and hormonal cycles that are affecting the energy that has come available for sexual involvement. They also make the point in this chapter about staying clear of distractions. It states that those that are living lives that are complicated may not ever be what are considered a natural time to feel very sexual. The authors had suggested that to make some corrections to this problem, a person has to start by clearing out all of the distractions. The authors then begin the process by making a decision that starts concerning the television.
A lot of people keep the television on most of the time when they are staying at the house together. The TV then becomes a constant distraction. A person then may need to turn it off and start spending a little more time alone together (Balswsick, 2007). The authors in the book recommend moving the television out of the bedroom is possible. Even at times putting the television in the garage for about a month gives it a sort of nudge in some of the patterns. They make the point that outside commitments usually just interfere. A lot of people are busy since they are involved with church and community projects. The authors believe that if those commitments start crowding a person's life so much that they do not have any relaxed block of time that they will be able to spend time together as a couple then those involvements are probably not very advantageous.
When Sex isn't working
In this chapter, the authors do not hold back in making the point that our bodies a re designed for the pleasure for sexual pleasure, response and arousal. They make the point that physically a person's sexual functioning is so expectable that it can really be measured down to about tenths of a second and is exactly the same from person to another and basically it is also in the same person from one time to another. The authors state that emotionally and relationally, there is a definable procedure of desire, admission, meshing, pleasuring. Letting go and then the entrance of and then the letting go again.
The authors stress the fact that some may not even know what is suppose to be normal sexual interaction, or maybe sex does not really flow that natural for certain people. They go on to state that because of the haphazard way of a lot of the sex education, a person cannot count on every person growing up with the same information. They make the point that since the sexual experience is so emotionally charged up and not represented right in the media, a lot of adults, even adults that are well educated, are getting to the point of readiness for sexual involvement with a dismal lack of knowledge that is concerning what is natural and normal. Some people are really not that aware of how to really enjoy their spouse's body or go after making them very aroused (Stanley, 2006).
The chapter goes on to make the point that other may not be fully aware of the appropriateness of bodily feelings. However, they make the point that others do shy away from certain natural bodily responses as if they are not normal. Most of the time a person that is newly married expectations for having sex in marriage will be not be very realistic.
They others in this chapter also point out that having knowledge about oneself and their partner is normally lacking. A lot of certain women, are coming to the marital situation not really aware of their own sexual desires and feelings or even the needs. Of course they also mention that every woman is really different.
Balswsick, J. a. (2007). Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach. Boston: IVP Academic.
Martindale, E. (2009). Things to Know Before You Say Go. New York: Courage To Bloom; 2nd edition.
Penner, C.P. (2003). The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment. Boston: Thomas Nelson; Rev Upd edition.
Rosenau, D.D. (2005). A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds. Boston: Thomas Nelson.
Rosenau, D.E. (2005). A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy. Boston: Thomas Nelson; Rev Upd edition.
Stanley, T.G. (2006). Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration…