Heart's Confession There Is No Thesis

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You looked so beautiful sitting there with Lizel and Denise. I wanted to come over and talk to you when you smiled and waved at me. I could not at that time because I was with Elizabeth. Even though it was a long time before I would see you again, I never stopped thinking about you. I hoped I would see you more when Lizel started renting a room for my uncle. When she asked about renting the other room to you, I said, "no" due to having a girlfriend and I knew I could not handle having you so close to me all the time.

Lizel, however, never listens to me. To my surprise, the next day I see you walking down the steps. My heart almost stopped as I felt like I was going to faint when you sat down next to me. I could not say "no" when you asked about renting the other room because I was putty in your hands. Having you here has been the best thing that could happen to me. As Elizabeth and I were not meant to be, if you had asked, I would have been available the next moment. But then I found out you had a boyfriend.

That's when I knew I had to hide my feelings for you and just try to be a gentleman. That worked for a little while.

I am so grateful for having you here and getting the chance to know you even better. You are perfect for me, I often think, as I see more and more that we are so much alike. You are always trying to better yourself. You try to do what you feel is right even when you may want to do something else. We both believe in a Higher Power and that things happen for a reason. You are so caring and kind, a person of true beauty on the inside as well the outside.

The night of the charity ballroom dance event, you were again the most beautiful girl in the room. In my dreams, I saw you in that black dress. I could smell your perfume in my sleep. That night, I decided to take dance lessons. I longed to dance with you then just as I envision us dancing together now.

The day I learned it was your birthday, I wanted to give you something unique with a message you could find dear. That's why I gave you that Yo-Yo, the same one I wanted to give you so long ago. I had been saving it and praying for the right moment to give it to you. On that day, when I tried to find you alone, instead I found you were going out with your boyfriend. Somehow, I found the courage to hand you the Yo-Yo you right there in front of him. I told you the Yo-Yo's history and about the boy who moved here. He, like you, started a new life here with just a dream. By simply sharing his culture, along with investing hard work, he was able to start the 1st Yo-Yo company which ultimately became a huge success. I see the same success story in you. You will be the best at anything you choose in life, Chesca. You have what it takes to take whatever live gives you and make it better. I want to help you in any way I can.

Not long after your birthday, I finally broke up with Elizabeth; I was free to pursue whom I chose. Because I have never wanted anyone but you, I have not looked for anyone else. I cannot pursue you, however, because of him.

So I wait

One day I saw you texting; looking not all happy. You where having a fight with HIM and were not going to go out with him that weekend. That's when you asked me if there was anything fun to do around here.

I could not believe what I heard as my heart raced. Still, I tried to play it cool. When I asked you if you wanted to do something with me that weekend, I saw the faint smile on your face - the kind that appears when something goes just the way you wanted.

You told, me, "Yes."

At that time, I had never been happier. Because I could not keep such good news to myself, I told my coworkers, my students, and even my dance instructor that I had big plans for that weekend. I wanted it to be perfect.

Before...

...

Even though I only told you little bits about what I planned for us to do, however, I had things all set up. That weekend I planned to seize my moment to sweep you off your feet.
But then tragedy...

He got smart and canceled his plans and stayed with you that weekend. His plans ruined mine. I can't blame him because he and I both know you are one of a kind. No way would I ever let you go if you where mine. So how could he?

So all that was left for me to do was to try and be there for you in any little way I could. I could try and tell you I love you without ever saying the words. I could try and make your life the best I could, without ever becoming a big part of it...

As I write this letter, Chesca, I do not know if I should be telling you all this - but I need you to know.

I love you.

If our life were a fairy tale and you were my maiden, there would be no deed I would not do to prove my love for you. I would climb the highest mountain and slay the mightiest of ferocious dragons to prove my strength. I would cross all of the oceans to prove my devotion. I would sacrifice all that I have to prove that all I need is you.

I know, however, that instead of playing the role of the brave knight, I may appear more like the jester or town fool. But that still does not dismiss my love for you.

This Christmas, I want to share my heart's confessions with you and let you know my true feelings. If you would have me, I want to give you all that I am.

The gift I am giving you may be small but its beauty shines just like yours. The gift, like the fire in my heart, is pure and burning red. Its setting holds it back, yet it longs to be set free. The small diamond, accenting the ruby's head reminds me of the sparkle I sometimes see in your eyes; the sparkle I hope to one day inspire.

Until this letter, I have spent my whole life holding back my feelings. I have never truly been set free and have never truly shared my deepest feeling with another person. Until now, I have never understood the statement that it takes a strong woman to make a strong man. Until you, I have always done so well on my own.

I think I understand now the truth in the statement: It takes a strong woman to make a strong man.

With you, Chesca, I do not want to be ordinary. I want to slay that dragon… I want to take on the world. I want to climb every mountain and cross all the oceans with you by my side. I finally see life is so much better when you have someone else there for you; that perfect someone to live for.

Your only flaw is that you are forever losing your keys. I love the fact, however, that you constantly misplace your car keys; your house keys and now recently, your suitcase keys. Maybe, that's what you have done with the key to your heart. Not really lost it, but misplaced it; waiting for the right time; like when you read this letter to find that key and completely unlock to your heart to me.

My heart has never been unlocked this way to anyone like you. Please take this gift and keep it to remind you of me. The feeling with which I give it extends from my soul. You may do with the gift whatever you will. If you cherish it, the feeling with it will grow to no end. If you decide to keep it in its box, it will, as I, be patiently waiting for you.

I do not care if we conquer the world and rule as king and queen or if we simply live as mere peasants. If I had you - I would be the richest man of all times in history. If to my loss, however, if you find you are happiest in the arms another, I want that for you always -- that you are your happiest. So, my dearest Chesca, if these words do not stir your heart as you stir mine,…

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My heart has never been unlocked this way to anyone like you. Please take this gift and keep it to remind you of me. The feeling with which I give it extends from my soul. You may do with the gift whatever you will. If you cherish it, the feeling with it will grow to no end. If you decide to keep it in its box, it will, as I, be patiently waiting for you.

I do not care if we conquer the world and rule as king and queen or if we simply live as mere peasants. If I had you - I would be the richest man of all times in history. If to my loss, however, if you find you are happiest in the arms another, I want that for you always -- that you are your happiest. So, my dearest Chesca, if these words do not stir your heart as you stir mine, please put me back in to my box. I will wait patiently; hoping and praying. I will wait for however long it takes to reassure you that with me, you have nothing to fear. I will wait until we both know the meaning of the saying that: Perfect loves casts out fear -- hopefully together.

Blue Letter Bible. "John's First Epistle - 1 John 4:18b - (KJV - King James Version)." Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2009. 14 Dec 2009. %3chttp://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=1Jo&c=4&t=KJV%20%3e?<http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=1Jo&c=4&t=KJV>?


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