In this cause and effect essay, I have discussed the issue of infidelity and the reasons of its occurrence in the military marriages. I have emphasized on the causes of infidelity and have also discussed its consequences on the couple and their family, especially children.
It is not possible to come out of the tension and anxiety that one experiences after a military marriage as the stress is unending. There are a multiple reasons including "death or injury, separation by training or deployment, shift work and long working hours and the ability to sustain acceptable behaviors outside of military work" (Powell & Kennedy 38) that cause stress not only for the person working in armed forces but also for his/her family members. Without a doubt, infidelity is an outcome of such stress that contribute in the unfaithfulness and disloyalty of the individual affected by the military marriage (Powell & Kennedy 37).
Infidelity may be defined as the deed or position of being disloyal to the other half (husband or wife) or other partner with whom one has maintained a sexual relationship. There are a number of reasons why people, especially those employed in military services, may become faithless and deceitful towards a partner. However, the main reasons of infidelity in military marriage are separation anxiety, fear of the spouse's life in way of harm and vengeance against a spouse who is deployed (Powell & Kennedy 37). Sexual in-delity is prevalent and the therapists consider it as one of the most complex couple problems that demand time and patience. When one partner's infidelity is disclosed or discovered by the other, it creates immense problems in the relationship and may cause the betrayed partner to become highly depressed or suicidal (Snyder, Balderrama-Durbin & Fiissette 213). Moreover, in-delity is the most common reason of divorce (Amato & Previti, 2003).
The intrinsic menaces that are a part of military service are clear when military setting up and families of installed army men are considered. The military's all-time high demands make it difficult for the military members to build up a strong relationship with their family or sustain it. The recent example of it is the continuing deployments of soldiers to Afghanistan and Iraq. As more military men are installed at places where there is a fight going on, infidelity can turn out to be an escape from anxiety at such times of vulnerability (Powell & Kennedy 38).
In simple words, the deployments and installation of soldiers to countries where there is an armed conflict expose them to increased fighting which consequently increases the likeliness of infidelity. Thus, a majority of the soldiers who are faced with such situations start to think that when it is impossible for them to be the controllers of their lives and environment, then they have the right to direct their sexuality according to their needs. As a consequence, they demonstrate this control by choosing infidelity (Powell & Kennedy 38).
The facts and figures acquired through various surveys and studies provide enough proof that the rates of in-delity are considerably higher among military couples, especially among those who have to live separately as a result of deployment. Despite the fact that there is not enough proof regarding the prevalence of in-delity among military couples, the evidence that is in hand suggests that as compared to civilian couples, military couples are more inclined towards infidelity. This is because military couples are faced with situations which make them vulnerable to increased risk for in-delity. There are a higher number of young men and women who enlist themselves in military services and marry young as well. If compared with one percent of the civilian population who gets married at the age of twenty, it is quite obvious why the fourteen percent of military members of same age group tend to involve themselves in disloyal activities. In simple words, if an individual is married at a young age, there are higher chances of him/her to engage in future in-delity (Snyder, Balderrama-Durbin & Fiissette 214).
In addition to this, military marriages have been recently tested by the longest and most repeated deployments in volunteer army history. Studies and surveys reveal that soldiers who were a part of the combats experienced extra damage to their relationships with their partners after returning from deployment. Such situations made them increasingly exposed to in-delity. The commonness of infidelity amongst army is evident from the fact that more or less 50-60% U.S. military couples "seek assistance with issues of in-delity, a rate strikingly higher than for the percentage of civilian couples in marital therapy (approximately 15%)" (Snyder, Balderrama-Durbin & Fiissette 214).
As far as the effects of infidelity are concerned, there is a long list of negative consequences that both spouses can experience emotionally and behaviorally. These consequences include "partner violence, depression, suicidal ideation, acute anxiety, and symptoms similar to posttraumatic stress disorder" (Snyder, Balderrama-Durbin & Fiissette 214). In case when infidelity revelation or discovery ends in divorce or separation, the guilty spouse is affected by depression, suicidal thoughts and heightened nervousness. It is an alarming situation that according to the recent studies, about fifty to sixty-five percent United States on-duty military personnel suicide due to the disintegration of a warm relationship. The concern today has increased due to the frequency and unpleasant costs of relationship problems among the couples in which either the man or woman or both serve in military (Snyder, Balderrama-Durbin & Fiissette 214).
It would not be incorrect to say that both military families and civilian families are alike as far as the issue of infidelity is concerned. However, it is exceedingly important to mention here that when military couples are observed, both husbands and wives are equally engaged in infidelity. As the wife also feels loneliness, she craves for getting attention from the opposite sex in the long absence of her husband and thus it is too easy for her to cheat her male spouse. Thus, it is really easy to observe multiple forms of infidelity in military life. Men, who know that the women are lonely at the base after the arrival of their husbands, prey such women really easily by giving them what they want from their husbands. On the other hand, a majority of soldiers involve themselves in extramarital affairs by pursuing long-distance relationships through the Internet ("The Toll on Military" 15).
It is, without a doubt, a crystal clear fact that infidelity may cause real problems. The individual who gets cheated by his/her spouse tends to end up with a distorted self-confidence and self-worth. In many of the cases, the trauma caused by infidelity makes the affected and cheated person to consider him/her as being responsible for the whole situation. This is the reason why this kind of self blame may lead a person to attempt suicide after severe depression. Extreme depression and suicidal thoughts may result in an individual's denial of relationships' importance and also makes him/her distrustful of other people. The deceitfulness and dishonesty of a partner shatters a person to such an extent that he/she may feel tremendously unconfident, apprehensive and angry. It is observed that the rife between the affected and the betraying partner does not stop without the intervention of a professional psychologist or therapist.
In case where there is an involvement of children, they are also affected due to the parental conflict and may be used as a weapon against the deceitful partner. This may benefit the affected partner but is, at the same time, harmful and devastating for the children as such experiences leave them disadvantaged. The desire to take revenge from the partner who cheated may end up in some illogical and unjustified decisions that may harm the whole family, children in particular. It is…