Kung San Trial Marriages and U.S. Divorce Rates. The!Kung San are a hunter-gatherer people that inhabit the Kalahari desert in Africa. They are the Bushmen who have managed to live a contented, self-governed life while the rest of the world has sprung up around them in a mass of technology and dysfunction. They live a community life where the economy is based on sharing and "among the first words a child learns are na ("give it to me") and ihn ("take this")" (Shostak 2000:44) giving outsiders the impression of a quaint carefree nomadic life.

Nevertheless there are many similarities shared between Americans and the!Kung San, some of which are as simple as equal love for their children, to the interesting arrangements of a 'trial marriage'. A!Kung trial marriage could be acquainted with people living together before getting married, or cohabiting as part of a condition before marriage, depending on religious or multi-cultural backgrounds.

Such similarities are also present in 'de facto unions' where "trial' unions are common among those planning to marry in the future, but on the condition that they have the experience of a union without a marriage bond. This is a kind of "conditioned stage" for marriage, similar to "trial" marriage, but, different from this, a certain social recognition is presumed" (Council 2000:4.)

For the!Kung, these trial marriages ensure not only that they are compatible but they can endure each other through the difficulties of parenthood and, in a nutshell, be civil to one another. It is a part of the relationship process that counteracts such modern social positions like 'de facto parents' and above all, 'divorce'. While the!Kung view trial marriages as an important stage in a woman's life, Western views often associate cohabitation as being an equal decision by both parties involved in the relationship and does not necessarily lead to marriage. Another important aspect would be the!Kung's views on co-wives, which in the western world would be more acquainted with cheating on a spouse, or more likely, polygamy.

Shostak says that children spend most of their first...

For whatever reason, divorces occur, regardless of a child's age and social background, and sometimes the child is not given to the custody of the mother, or stay-at-home dads reverse the traditional roles, ensuring that fathers are a little more involved with those less pleasant tasks the men of!Kung San are so easily able to avoid.
The normal lifestyle of American young adults is to live together for a period of time in a type of informal trial marriage. These relationships frequently do not endure" (Tolerance, 2000:1). There are many factors that contribute to the statistic that 50% of American marriages result in divorce, and of these factors, 'common law' relationships seem to play an increasing role. Irreconcilable differences will always be a factor for western relationships ending in divorce, but for the!Kung San it seems that this is what trial marriages are for and based upon the ideal that measures should be taken to keep marriages intact, rather than the other way round.

Women seem to have a limited 'veto' role within the!Kung, while women's rights in America grow stronger as women exercise their Free Will and rights to equal opportunities in society, especially marriage. It's not unheard of these days for women to propose to men, to cheat on men, or to instigate divorce proceedings, nor is it uncommon for same-sex relationships and marriages to take place. In fact, almost 67% of divorce proceedings are initiated by women (Gigy & Kelly, 1992:18).

American society has created a playing-field where girls and boys are able to grow up on a somewhat equal ground, thus giving girls the freedom to join the army or become a firefighter, and boys the opportunity to become teachers, day-care workers and other roles most often associated with women. This is very unlike the!Kung or have almost strict guidelines as to the duties women and men…