Ba brings the reader into the heart of Ramatoulaye to experience what she is feeling. Hurt at losing her husband, being forced to look in the face of his co-wife, and literally losing everything she had worked for to her husband's family. Her aloneness and dismay was evident as she reached out to her friend, Aissaotou. In the midst of it all, she found friendship and her Higher Power as her sources of strength.
In her utopia, friendship and her Higher Power would remain her sources of strength. Still, if Ramatoulaye had experienced the death of her husband in her utopia, she would be the only wife. She would have the ability to make a choice whether to divorce a husband who had committed adultery polygamy against her without being shunned by her village or her religion. In her utopia, if she chose to remain with him, she would not be required to sacrifice her belongings to his family, but she would inherit his family's riches. In her utopia, marriage would not be an institution, but it would be a way of life that leads to stability, oneness, and security. The partners would be responsible for making joint choices for the marriage; they would be a unit. Upon the death of her spouse, she would be sure that that she would remain independent, autonomous, and whole.
Ba continues her story by describing the protagonist's sense of betrayal in her marriage as she described how her husband had abandoned her and her children to her friend for the first time. "He abandoned us; he mapped his future out without taking us into account (9). She describes how he mortgaged their joint property to purchase a new home for his new wife and mother in law. She describes her despair, hopelessness, and confusion at the abandonment by her husband. "Was it madness, weakness, or irresistible love (Ba 11). What led Modou Fall to marry Binetou?" To overcome my bitterness, I call it human destiny. (Ba 11).
In her marriage utopia, it would be the Ramatoulaye's destiny to marry a man that is so much in love and dedicated to her that adultery would not become an issue. Their love for one another would overcome any threats to the marriage and they would know that they together are one. They would draw strength from each other's presence while at the same time taking care of themselves. They would grow stronger with age and able to handle all of lives challenges together. She would have in-laws that were supportive her marriage and respectful of her home.
Another form of love utopia that exists for the African woman in So Long a Letter is the utopia of friendship. Ramatoulaye writes the letter to her friend who ultimately returns to visit her. It is a lengthy letter where she shares hurts that she had never shared with anyone before with some one that she trusted and was able to reach out to in such an intimate way. As will be discussed in a later section of this essay, an African woman's utopia will be marked by female solidarity, trust, and interdependence. African women would be free to reach out to one another just as Ramatoulaye reached out to Aissaotou during her time of need. Women would support one another, defend one another, and demonstrate a level of unyielding sisterhood that when the African woman looks in the eyes of her sister, she is reminded purely and gently of who she is as a woman.
In an African woman's parental love utopia, parents love their daughters in a healthy and nurturing way. They understand their daughter's needs and the role that a parent plays in building a strong, successful, and confident woman. In an African woman's parental love utopia, no incest exists between father and daughter and a father would be repulsed at the idea of bearing children from his daughter.
An example of this scenario is illustrated in the Joys of Motherhood. Nwokocha Agbadi was a very powerful and wealthy local chief in Ogboli Africa (Emecheta 10). As was the culture at that time, African men were expected to have multiple wives and mistresses which he did (Emecheta 11). However, his love for one woman, whom he called Ona, overpowered all the rest (Emecheta 12). There was one problem that stood between him and Ona -- her father who had forbid her never to marry (Emecheta 12). Her father had no son and he had commissioned his daughter to have his sons (Emecheta 12). Ona...
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