Jewish wedding traditions from ancient times to the present day

Ancient Jewish Weddings

Weddings in Ancient Jewish Custom

There is an example of a wedding feast from the gospel of Luke that is not of the famous Cana Wedding Feast that takes place at the beginning of Jesus' ministry, but a gathering in the house of a Pharisee. The Pharisees and scribes invited Jesus there because, as always they were trying to test Him. It was on the Sabbath, and there had already been some discussion of this seminal event in the Jewish week, but the discussion had changed because Christ had been asked to heal a man who walked up to him who had dropsy (an abnormal swelling due to excessive water retention). He asked them if they thought it was lawful to heal a man on the Sabbath, and as they were testing Him, they did not answer. So, he told them that they would definitely take their ox out of the ditch if it happened to fall in on the Sabbath. Based on this logic, why would someone not heal on the Sabbath? The Pharisees never made a comment to this (they could not after they heard His reasoning for why he would heal on the Sabbath), so He continued with another parable describing the seating of guests at the wedding feast which begins in verse seven above and ends at verse 14. Christ was not trying to tell them anything about a wedding feast necessarily, but from His description of how guests were seated at the wedding, one can gather how weddings were typically held in that day under Jewish tradition. The research paper details the particulars of the Jewish wedding as it was in ancient times, in the time of Christ, and how that is carried over today in orthodox Jewish homes. Following is a detailed look at how an institution that God began when He joined Adam and Eve together has been carried forward, and added to, but it has remained one of the most time-honored and sacred of Jewish traditions.

Old Testament Marriage

The first mention of marriage in the Bible is quickly after the creation account in Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." This is the constant theme of marriage throughout the Bible; that of the man and the woman becoming one. The Bible is not very explicit about the covenant of marriage, though it does mention in several places that marriages were often arranged (Gen 24:4 and Gen 28:1). Of course, in the case of Jacob the marriage was arranged, but Jacob went and worked for both Lean and Rachel. In none of these accounts is there talk of any ancient customs that were associated with the marriages.

According to one writer, West (2003), the marriage contract was initiated by either the man (boy) himself or by his family. The girl in question was probably just out of puberty (around 12 or 13) and the boy was probably in his later teens. The two were betrothed at some point, and the marriage agreement did not have to be some marriage document that as signed and sealed. The two were bound by the arrangement, and the consummation of the union made the marriage official (West, 2003). The groom did have to provide his wife's family with a dowry, called a rhm or a mohar, because they were about to lose the money which she would have added to the family (West, 2003). This is according to a Biblical scholar.

The customs which are recorded from the Talmud (the Torah says little about marriage or the contract of marriage) discuss the concept of a bashert (soul mate). This is literal because in Jewish tradition (Talmud is Jewish rabbinical tradition, while the Torah is the Pentateuch or the law of Moses (Celine, 2011)) the "Rav Yehuda taught that 40 days before a male child is conceived, a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry, literally a match made in heaven" (Rich, 2011). This's not necessarily believed in the Jewish faith, and most marriages are not pre-arranged currently, but in ancient times there was a belief that people's unions were ordained by God.

The ancient tradition also states that: "The primary purpose of marriage is love and companionship, not just childbearing; A contract called a ketubah spells out terms of marriage and divorce; Marriages between certain close relatives are prohibited, and; Children born out of wedlock are not bastards in Jewish law" (Rich, 2011). This is consistent with what is taught in the Old Testament of the Bible. God ordained a pleasurable sexual relationship, and a companionship between a man and a woman, and the law states the conditions under which the Jews were not to marry (because it would make them like the Egyptians and Canaanites (West, 2003).

Modern Orthodox Ceremony

Many of the traditions have survived within the Orthodox community, and the ceremony has been added to also. The additions are that the marriage agreement must be signed (the Ketubah) and the seven blessings are given (the Sheva Brachot) (Orthodox Judaism, 2010). Most ethnic Jewish households do not hold to these traditions though unless they are orthodox. The reason for this is that most people of Jewish ethnicity do not keep the ancient laws, and do not follow the religion in any manner. Because of this, modern Jews often parrot the traditions of Western cultures.

Luke 14 Parable

Christ was not talking to them about any wedding tradition, except how guests were seated at the tables. Generally, people would be seated according to their importance to the parents of the bride. Since it was the bride's family giving the Seuda (Orthodox Judaism, 2010), they got to choose where everyone would sit. Jews have a belief that whoever is wealthy is blessed by God, and whoever is living in a mean condition is not. Because of this bias, the people in ancient Israel would have seated the more important, blessed guests at the head tables. They would also have brought them the choice food and wine. Christ was trying to give the Pharisees and scribes an object lesson. He talked, as He often did, about who would be greatest and who would be least in the Kingdom of God. He had already told them many times that he who would be most needs to be least. He was reiterating this fact because it seemed from the seating arrangement that they had not. Christ was reminding them of the Kingdom and all they could see was the He had violated the Sabbath by healing a man cursed with dropsy.

Conclusion

It can be seen from the three section detailing the progression of the Jewish wedding ceremony that the people have tried, not to perfect the original simple ceremony, but to add to its meaning. The groom and the bride still are exchanging a vow before God, as Adam did, and they ae pledging their loyalty to the other when they take their vows. The additions are such elements as keeping the bride and groom separate until just before the wedding takes place, and breaking the glass. The first is so that the ceremony is more special, and the second symbolizes the destruction of the temple. The Jewish people have a diverse history, and much of it has been sad. But, they have kept this ceremony, that is not a part of their religious feasts, almost as sacred. Because the bride and the groom are pledging to God as much as they are to each other, the ceremony takes on an added significance. Since Old Testament (Torah) times, Jewish men and women have been following the example of the first couple and pledging their love for one another. Arranged marriages may have been dropped from the most part, and the couples may not delve into the religiosity of the ceremony as they once did, but the joining of a couple by remembering the past still remains.