Communication
The Power of Conflict
In a personal conflict I've had recently, I had a conflict with a co-worker, who betrayed a confidence I had shared with her. I was initially very upset regarding the incident, and realized I had placed my trust in a person who did not honor that trust. The relational view of power in the conflict left me as a victim, and my co-worker with the power to hurt me, which she did. This power imbalance shifted how I felt about my co-worker, and I felt it also altered my manager's perception of me, because of what the co-worker told her about me. I felt as if I was powerless in the situation, because I had begun the process, and then had little effect when it spun out of control. I learned how power can be used to hurt, and how it can affect the attitudes of people around you.
Specifically, I confided a confidence to my co-worker, and asked her not to repeat it. As she had experienced a similar time in her life, I felt she would be supportive and understanding. However, she betrayed my confidence, and told our manager what I had told her. I was embarrassed, and I felt betrayed. My co-worker used the information to make herself more powerful through information, and this created the conflict. I of course told her I was angry, but by that point, I could do little else. She used her power to gain recognition in the manager's eyes, while diminishing my position. Our work relationship has deteriorated because of it, and I no longer trust, or even particularly like this woman. Thus, power can transform a relationship if it is used to hurt, and it could also transform an organization if it is used the wrong way. A classic example is the situation at Enron, where the leaders of the organization used their power to better themselves, and financially ruined the organization in the process. Power is like a two-edged sword. In the wrong hands, it can be devastating to people or organizations, and unfortunately, I had to discover that the hard way. Does my co-worker still maintain power over me? No, she told the secret and lost her power. She also lost my respect and trust.
