She is probably keen on abandoning her family as a form of escapism. Instead of directly confronting the core issues, she would prefer to jump ship and swim to a new shore. The trouble is that once Doris reaches any new shore, her same beliefs and value systems remain a part of who she is. I would aim to change her self-concept, beliefs, and value systems in a way that helped my client.
If Doris has been taught that a woman's role is in the home, and that marriages succeed via submission to the husband, then we have a lot of work to do. Doris does not believe these things and yet she feels trapped by the ideology handed down to her by her parents. This internal conflict raging within Doris is the root cause of many of her problems.
A person-centered approach to therapy will help Doris explore all parts of herself. She can learn to embrace and forgive her parents, and also to do the same for herself. One goal of therapy will be to empower Doris. A person-centered approach is inherently empowering. The client gains a considerable amount of self-confidence with the knowledge that they discovered the answers within, rather than depending on an external source for direct advice.
Women like Doris are taught that motherhood is the most fulfilling aspect of their lives. When both marriage and motherhood fail to live up to such lofty expectations, women like Doris suffer. If Doris can discover what makes her tick beyond her family, or what her creative aspirations and dreams are, then she might be able to reconcile the two aspects of herself: her past and her future. Doris might be able to see that she can simultaneously embrace motherhood while also detaching from the confining roles that entails. If it turns out her husband is not supportive of Doris's personal liberation, then we might have to consider other options. Yet only Doris can achieve these mental steps towards personal liberation and change.
5. What are some of the advantages...
Moreover, the person-centered framework will reduce any possibility that Doris will view the therapy as paternalistic. Doris has obviously thought through her decision to the point where she understands that abandoning her child might mean that her husband cannot afford to care for the child. As a sense of responsibility, Doris remains with her family. This shows a degree of maturity that Doris might not even recognize yet in herself. I believe that person-centered therapy will show Doris that she is being more sensible and mature than her friends -- or anyone in her family -- thinks she is.
With person-centered therapy, I could ask Doris to imagine what it would be like if her upbringing was different. If she had parents who pushed her into a career instead of into marriage, would she have been a different person? Understanding that our upbringing indelibly shapes who we are, Doris might be able to discover a middle ground that blends her family values with a newfound sense of self-respect.
Finally, a person-centered framework can help Doris reach her own conclusions about the potential consequences of her actions. If she is determined that leaving her family would be the best thing for her (as well as her child) then she might be able to explore the hopes, dreams, and plans she has for the future. If Doris has any doubts, those too would come out in therapy. The simple facts about her case: that her child is only six months old and that she only moved to Houston recently, show that the issues at hand are relatively new. Doris might be able to gain valuable perspective in a person-centered therapy session. She might also realize that many of her problems need to be addressed with her husband, and that marriage and family counseling could be in their future.
