Magazine publishing and distribution

Gender Differences in Communication

The idea that men and women communicate in different ways is not a new one. In fact, a successful series of books about inter-gender communication goes so far as to posit that men and women differ so significantly in their communication styles that it is as if they are from different planets. That take on gendered communication may be a bit extreme, but it does reflect the reality that men and women often approach communication in very different ways. Why is it important to understand that men and women communicate in different ways? At the most basic level, unless one understands that men and women communicate differently, it is virtually impossible to have quality communication between the sexes. One party to a conversation may believe that they have achieved consensus while the other party still feels as if consensus is hopeless, and that may not reflect ideological differences, but simply a difference in communication styles. Therefore, while a woman may not want to learn to talk like a man, or vice-versa, it is important for both men and women to understand the gender-based differences in communication and take them into account in their daily interactions with people of the opposite sex.

One way that helps contextualize gender-based communication differences it to understand how they developed. Historically, men have been placed in positions of competition, while women were put into positions of cooperation (Miller & Buchanan, 2008). While women have moved into the competitive workforce, the fact remains that literally thousands of years of evolution and societal conditioning have arranged for women to be more cooperative than men. The result is that men are still "competitive and hierarchical. They establish rank and status. Women look for similarities and value cooperation" (Miller & Buchanan, 2008). Understanding this basic difference is the first key to understanding the differences between male and female communication styles.

Another important thing to understand is that women seek communication as a means of dealing with problems, even when they are not entering into communications in order to find a solution to the problems. In other words, women vent in their communications in a way that most men do not. Men tend to be goal-oriented rather than relationship oriented, so that when someone discusses a problem, they offer solutions, rather than offering empathy or understanding (vom Saal, unk.). Women, because they have a cooperative approach, may offer advice even when that advice has not been sought. These basic differences can lead to some of the major communications problems between men and women. When women offer unsolicited advice to men, the men may feel as if their competence or ability is being questioned (vom Saal, unk.). On the other hand, when a man offers solutions to a woman, a woman may feel as if he is revealing a lack of empathy (vom Saal, unk.).