How Aging Affects Us

Parenting role changes from early to late middle age. One of the important differences is that the children will be making a transition during that time, either from adolescence into adulthood or from early childhood into adolescence. By late middle age, parents are usually not depended upon by their children for survival, and are starting to find their own ways in the world. The parent at this point transitions from being a provider to being an advisor.

The parent's wisdom and experience in the world are more important than their ability ot provide food and shelter. In late middle age, the parent is usually still working, and is often at the peak of his/her career, especially when no longer responsible for the day-to-day needs of the child. However, this is also a period where there can be some anxiety, associated with the change of role and with children leaving home.

If the children are enjoying success but the parent is still relied upon, this should be associated with a higher level of life satisfaction. For some parents, relinquishing their role as provider can negatively affect satisfaction, particularly if their children are not thriving. I see my grandparents in particular being challenged with old age. Their physical selves are becoming increasingly frail, and this has affected their mental health, something seen especially with my grandfathers.

There are more health challenges, and only two of my grandparents seem to have accepted their old age; the others are anxious about it. The transition into old age has been a significant challenge for all of them, however, in the sense that they no longer have an active day-to-day role to play in the lives of their children or grandchildren; they see us a few times a year at best. day-to-day, they cherish their friendships, but friends are starting to die.

My parents are doing better with their transitions, but that is in part because they are still providers and caretakers. They are considering relocating to a place where there are more people entering retirement so that they can have a community of new friends and more options for hobbies and pastimes, as they transition away from being day-to-day providers for their children. One of the interesting things for both is that retirement and children leaving home are among the only major life events.

Moves might happen early in retirement but as they age moves become less likely, and major life events are mostly related to friends passing away and events such as grandchildren getting married -- other people's events and milestones that they can share in. Older people are also challenged because people question their value. When physical frailty sets in, many discount what other value older people have. This affects my grandparents -- unfortunately there are situations where retirement also marks the end of your relevance to our society.

My parents are faced with this struggle as well -- when my father lost his job he found it very difficult to get a new one.

Even in a world where most people change jobs frequently and there is little employer-employee loyalty, older people have trouble finding work because "they won't be there that long." This is clearly discrimination, and frustrating when my father might still have ten good working years left -- far more than I would ever spend at one company in the same job at my stage in life. Many people hiring are not that much younger, but yet they feel that older people are not in touch with today's realities.

Again, this is fairly absurd -- these same people will vote some old person to be President, so clearly they are selective in deciding who is out of touch and when that matters. Having seen the discrimination first hand, I feel there is no basis for it, and it is just ageism, but sending a message to someone that they are close to expiration, when they are only in their early 50s, is a very difficult message, especially when someone feels that discrimination for the first time.

There are gender differences for stress and chronic illness. As I noted, my grandfathers do not handle losing their physical capability nearly as well as my grandmothers. Men are defined more by their physical.