In Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, six principles are provided to help people achieve the titular goal: 1) Become genuinely interested in others; 2) Smile; 3) Remember that a person’s own name is the best sound to them in the world; 4) Listen well; 5) Use terms that are interesting to the other person; 6) Show the other person that you think they are important. In short, the main idea of the book is to care about others and be sincere about it and to do it with a smile and with positive energy. That is the best way to win friends and influence others. In this paper, I will describe how I implemented these principles in my own life, at school, at work, and what the outcomes were. In my personal life and in my student life, I realized that I was around a lot of people all the time, yet hardly knew them. I decided to start opening up and trying to just make the room a little friendlier. The first thing I did was to start paying attention to what others were saying. By listening to them, I began to feel that I was getting to know them better. Then, when I spoke to them, or made a response, I could use the terms that they had used in their discussions, and in this way I could connect with them in a meaningful way. I could also ask for more input and say something like, “That is a really interesting take on the subject; I had never considered it from that point of view before. I would definitely be interested in hearing more about it.” The person would always come back to me favorably expressing an interest in sharing more ideas with me as I was one who clearly had good sense.

I also began using others’ names when I would meet them or see them. Instead of just saying, “Hello!” or “Hi!” I would say, “Hi, Ross!” or “Hello, Evelyn!” whenever I saw these people at work. I began addressing all my colleagues and peers by the names, and I felt that in doing so it knocked down whatever icy barrier might exist between us. I could feel that by simply saying the person’s name, I was reaching out and giving them a friendly hug. I myself felt like I was more willing to warm up to that person just by saying their name. I would follow up the salutation with a warm and real inquiry, like, “How was your weekend?” and I would use a tone that demonstrated my genuine interest in how they spent their time. I would show that I really wanted...

In this manner I became more like a friend who has a genuine concern for their lives and wants to know how things are going.
The outcome of this type of interaction was that I began to be more popular at work and among people in my school. People began to smile more when they saw me, and of course I was always smiling as well because this is a big part of the Dale Carnegie strategy. At work especially, my peers and colleagues and managers all began coming to me for input as I was now showing myself as more sociable, willing to listen, willing to take part in the lives of others, and willing to be a real team player. Before, I was not being asked for my take on much because I was not giving much to the workplace environment. After smiling more, saying people’s names, getting to know them, taking an interest in their lives, and showing that I cared about them, I was suddenly being seen as someone who had an important opinion on workplace matters and who should be consulted about things, such as what teams should be given which tasks, how the department might benefit from a rearrangement, and which channels the new purchases might go through as alternatives to the present ones being used. My colleagues viewed me now as someone who could be trusted and appreciated.

Even among customers, I began to demonstrate these principles. If a customer came up, I was always smiling, always introducing myself so that I could then get their name and use it over the course of our encounter. I would listen extremely well to everything they were saying, and repeat certain terms back to them that they had used so that they could see that I was listening. I would do all of this to show that I was genuinely concerned about their experience and genuinely wanted to see how I could help. As a result my good will towards customers was noticed by others and my managers even saw how patiently and selflessly I was acting towards customers. They said they received numerous calls from customers afterwards who wanted to tell the managers how thankful and happy they were to have met me and have obtained my services in helping them with their issues. The managers let me know that they were quite pleased with how well I was engaging with the customers and…