Interpersonal effectiveness: strategies and key competencies

Interpersonal Efficacy -- Using Empathetic Listening

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Empathetic listening is a form of listening that takes into account more than just the words spoken. Empathetic listening involves a more holistic approach to listening and communication in general. Empathetic listening is sometimes also called active listening. It is a type of listening where the meaning of a communication lies in the verbal and non-verbal cues. Empathetic listening is a technique of listening that requires that the listener follow the words of the speaker and understand the intent behind the words, as well as the aspects involved during the delivery of the words. To empathetically listen without much practice is pretty strenuous and requires substantial concentration. Empathetic listening requires self-control on behalf of the listener because very often while people are speaking, the people who are listening have thoughts that they want to express that are directly related to statements made by the speaker. Empathetic listening requires that everyone take his or her turn when it comes to both speaking and listening.

I practiced listening empathetically to my mother and to one of my close friends. I chose these people because I am already close to them and I feel there is already a great deal of pre-existing empathy. These are also people that I would be able to have serious conversations with, which is one of the requirements for the exercise in this paper. The subject my mother and I spoke about is a disagreement between me and my grandmother regarding an argument that occurred between my uncle and I at the very beginning of this year. The situation has spiraled out of control and I feel that no matter how I try to fix it or make the situation better, all I get in return is meanness and shut-out. The situation is difficult for my mother because she is in the middle of it. This was a challenging subject to listen because I feel so strongly about it, so in a way, it was a great topic to test my emerging empathetic listening skills. We had a talk in an area with little distractions. We both set time out in our schedules, so we were not rushed or otherwise distracted.

What went well was my ability to exude empathic and attention. Both my other and my friend mentioned how they felt very strongly that I was listening and that I put value onto the conversation as well as the relationship. The toughest part was keeping quiet until it was my turn to speak. With my friend, it was difficult to keep the conversation serious. We often laugh together and laughter comes to us very easily, but still. For the purposes of the exercise and the friendship, there need to be times when we can be serious and talk about important matters before returning to laughter and good times. Thus, something that was hard to do was keep a straight face.

In the brief practice of empathetic listening, I have learned a few key things. One thing I learned is how many non-verbal cues we pick up from each other during communication. People will open up more or saying more emotionally direct or truthful things when they sense that someone is truly listening to them without judgment and without interest to interrupt with their thoughts. Empathetic listening helps people feel more comfortable. I also learned more about techniques of listening and communicating. There is more than one way to listen and there are better ways to listen over others. These observations will help me in my personal and professional interactions. I will be better able to tell who is listening to whom, and I hope to use my empathetic listening skills to my advantage in the workforce.