¶ … Brain and Child Counseling
The effects of divorce on children can be diverse and include various factors that affect the outcome. Family is deemed to be an important variable in positively impacting a child's development (Farrell, Mays, Henry, Schoeny, 2011). However, not all families are the same: some have two parents, some have none, some are of upper income socio-economic status, others are of lower income status; some have religious/deep cultural backgrounds, others do not. Divorce is but one variable in how a child can be impacted; nonetheless, it is an important one (Amato, Bruce, 1991; Sandstorm, Huerta, 2013). This paper will discuss the effects of divorce on children by showing how various studies have indicated correlation between divorce and stress on children and what short-term and long-term effects are likely to occur in children of various backgrounds as a result of divorce. It will assess whether divorce is more impactful on children in various races, ethnicities, on gender, and on the age of the child affected by it.
The purpose of the paper will be to identify how children are affected by divorce differently, depending on the various factors in their lives. It will show whether stress is one of the most important indicators of whether a child will be negatively affected by divorce. It will also include some discussion of the range of effects that children can suffer as a result of divorce, from isolation to feelings of involvement with one or both parents; from unhappiness and anger to feelings of love and understanding. The paper will indicate whether there is a one-size-fits-all way in which outcomes of divorce can be expected -- or if it all depends on how all parties approach the divorce, and whether the position of the children is adequately acknowledged by parents, who are able to appropriately respond to the needs of the child.
Part II
My new understanding of brain development might influence the way I would counsel a child in the sense that I am now better aware of the stages through which a child develops mentally. For example, children are not born with adult brains -- they have to pass through various stages of activity in order to grow, and what is most amazing about this process is that it takes years to complete. It is so important to remember this -- that while children may be curious about the world and want to know (and even mimic) what adults are doing, they themselves are not adults -- they do not have brains that are physically fully developed yet. As Siegel and Bryson (2012) note, "our brain has many different parts with different jobs" and for children their brains are still learning those jobs; thus it is important not to be hard on children as though they are experienced workers in the field -- they are not (p. 6). It is helpful to educate them, but even then, one should not expect the kind of responses that a seasoned hand would give; they need to be reminded, with concepts illustrated to them and repeated over and over again. Repetition is a great way in which children learn -- but so too is the way in which we engage them. By engaging them in diverse ways, we can exercise the different parts of their brains and help stimulate them to more and more growth.
By challenging them on multiple levels, we can better help them to develop brain integration, with the "left-brain logic" side working with the "right-brain emotion" side, which can help the child to regulate both thoughts and emotions (Siegel, Bryson, 2012, p. 6-7). Yet at the same time, it is helpful to remember what Siegel and Bryson (2012) also point out -- which is that just because a child is touched by an experience once, it does not mean the children is forever marked or scarred by the event. No -- a "child's brain is constantly being wired and rewired" by experience, and one experience can undo what a previous experience had done in a child's mind; and multiple experiences can help to reinforce everything that happens in the world with which a child interacts (Siegel, Bryson, 2012, p. 7-8).
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