Lesson Learned Last Year Two

¶ … Lesson Learned

Last year two of my close friends got into a dispute over a transaction involving an Ebay transaction for a motorcycle. One of them had allowed the other to use his Ebay and PayPal account to purchase a motorcycle that turned out to be stolen. The bike was confiscated by the police before the friend who had borrowed the other friend's account had repaid the debt. He refused to pay, arguing that the friend who conducted the transaction should have asked the seller for the Vehicle Identification Number (VIN) before issuing payment even though this was never discussed at the time. The dispute ended their friendship.

I believed very strongly that my friend who borrowed the account should have reimbursed my other friend and that his excuse was ridiculous. However, I never voiced my opinion to either one of them because I believed that it was none of my business and I wanted to remain neutral so that the dispute would not affect my friendship with either of them regardless of what happened between them. My father suggested that I should openly support whichever friend I believed was right instead of telling both of them that I did not want to get involved at all.

I tried to continue a separate friendships with both of them after they terminated their friendship until the friend who had refused to pay for the bike eventually betrayed my trust in another unrelated matter, ending our friendship too. My friendship with my other friend was never the same either, especially after I admitted that I agreed with his position over the motorcycle all along. In retrospect, it was a mistake to try to remain neutral in a situation where I had such a definite opinion of which person was right. The more honorable thing to do would have been to take the side of the friend with whom I agreed and attempt to moderate a resolution through my influence. I learned that it is inappropriate to remain neutral over an issue merely because it involves two friends. By doing so, I damaged my friendship with the friend who was right and in retrospect, I understand why he resented my neutrality at the time.